Trying to conceive after a stillborn

Demaria2014 · November 2014

i need help!! I just lost my son at 36+5 weeks on September 19,2014 due to a cord or they now say a placenta abruption but I didn't bleed. I delivered my baby born sleeping the 21st of September. My hubby and I desperately wants a baby! Our son was our first. We got pregnant the first shot when we wanted to start trying. My first period post baby was October 27th. My hubby and I got the OK monday November 3rd and I was fertile starting Wednesday the 5th and ovulation the monday the 10th. My husband and I had intercourse the friday and on ovulation day but have not had sex since... I know w should have sex more.. We are now going to BUT could there be a chance I could get pregnant since ipad intercourse 6 weeks post baby two days before ovulation and on ovulation? Please help!

carolinagirl67 · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine!

You have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month.

If you aren't already, start temping & using Fertility Friend.

I wish you all the best!

southernpeach89 · November 2014

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

PrimRoseMama · November 2014

I'm very sorry for the loss of your sweet son.

In my experience, my second trimester loss at 20 weeks, your body can be all kinds of crazy. You may have ovulated, but unless you are monitoring your basal body temperature, then you just don't know.

The only thing you can do is wait until you believe you've missed your period. However, you may miss periods anyway just because miscarriage can be a mind-maze.

Have lots of sex & see how it goes.

kayway85 · November 2014

I am so sorry for your loss.

I completely understand you're desire to get pregnant soon, and while it is possible you're pregnant, it may take a while for things get back to normal after your late loss. I know it's hard, but try to be patient with your body. Take care of yourself.

GypsySoul1112 · November 2014

I am terribly sorry for your loss. I definitely think your cycles need some time to regulate. You technically went through a full pregnancy and it can take months to come back to normal. I think it would great if you could start temping and charting so you can track how your body is adjusting.

Good luck. Hugs!

PrimRoseMama · November 2014

Also, I understand the desire for another baby & another pregnancy immediately. However, it might be a good idea to seek some counseling for yourself & your partner as you TTC. Everyone grieves differently, but jumping into TTC can have it's pitfalls too. Self-care is vital TTCAL.

I was still in therapy & support group for later loss when I got pregnant with DD. I can tell you the emotions & such with a pregnancy after a loss almost required others that "got it".

I still attend meetings at least once a year (mostly around the due dates of my angel babies) because the pain can creep up on you without warning.

I have two living children & I still have my dark days. Sending you love as you adjust to your new normal.

SpartanChick88 · November 2014

I have no advice to offer but I wanted to send hugs

Nikolie93 · November 2014

So much was already said but I wanted to say I am sorry for your loss and good luck.

elizabetheleven · November 2014

I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. Take time if you need it.

Demaria2014 · November 2014

Thank you. When I got my period I went by the period tracker I have. Although I knew it may not be correct I went by my discharge as well.

ajetter · November 2014

So sorry for your loss.

Demaria2014 · November 2014

I was following the period tracker and I payed attention to my discharge. I never had to try the first time so now I feel like I'm going crazy

PrimRoseMama · November 2014

Demaria2014 said:
I was following the period tracker and I payed attention to my discharge. I never had to try the first time so now I feel like I'm going crazy

Honestly, everything has changed for you now. It would be wise to expect nothing so you don't feel batty. >:D<

JennyLynn6785 · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss.

stemi · November 2014

I'm very sorry for your loss.

thewickedfairy · November 2014

I am so very sorry for your loss.

dmsmth · November 2014

So sorry for the loss of your son

I agree with pp, are you temping to know you for sure ovulated? If you are not temping you may not have ovulated when you thought, so I would definitely continue to have sex until af. I would start temping if you are not. Get a fertility friend account and read taking charge of your fertility. Your cycles can change post birth, so don't 100% count on your cycles being the same as they used to be prior to getting pregnant with you son.

I agree with primrosemama. I think counseling would be very beneficial. I when to a few sessions after my first tri loss and I have a friend who is still involved in her loss support group after her 2nd tri loss 6 years later. Its very helpful to be able to talk to people who have been what you have been through. for support and to know the emotions you are feeling are normal.

ashleymarie6269 · November 2014

So sorry to hear of your loss.

kelley72 · November 2014

I am so sorry for your loss and wish you peace, healing and happiness.

PinkCamino · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss.

How long did your doctor tell you to wait before trying to get pregnant again? You nearly went full term, waiting 1 cycle seems like a really short healing time frame. You body carried a baby to nearly full term and you suffered from a placental abruption. I know how badly you want to get pregnant again, i understand those feelings but I really feel like you need to speak to your doctor and set up a plan for your next pregnancy.

tyzo · November 2014

I'm so sorry. Best of luck to you.

SwivelChair5 · November 2014

So sorry for your loss. Good luck.

gscoville · November 2014

PinkCamino said:

I'm so sorry for your loss.

How long did your doctor tell you to wait before trying to get pregnant again? You nearly went full term, waiting 1 cycle seems like a really short healing time frame. You body carried a baby to nearly full term and you suffered from a placental abruption. I know how badly you want to get pregnant again, i understand those feelings but I really feel like you need to speak to your doctor and set up a plan for your next pregnancy.

I too am sorry for your loss. I wholly agree with PC here, though, and would like to express my concern over the fact that you seem almost frantic in your need to get pregnant again and that just doesn't seem healthy to me. You really need to discuss things more thoroughly with your doctor and perhaps seek out some counselling, both your body and your mind have been through a huge ordeal and that should all be sorted out and dealt with before rushing into things in a panic. You're obsessing about dates and possible ovulation, when your first concern should be seeing that your body has the time it needs to heal.

Did you know that it can take up to six months or more for a body to regulate once again after even a very early loss, let alone what an almost full term birth can do to your body and hormones? My loss was only at 8 weeks, but it still took my body more than 5 months to get back to any sort of 'normal', and honestly, that new 'normal' was completely different from what was usual for me before my pregnancy. Expecting your body to be back to the same 'normal' so immediately after your ordeal will only be crazy-inducing, you need to seriously examine what your expectations should be so as to be able to calm yourself moving forward.

Lastly, speaking as someone who has experienced loss, and who has been around the TTCAL board for almost two years now and seen every aspect of loss imaginable, I know just how you feel, but need to caution you about rushing ahead without stopping to take care of yourself first. Too many women have found out the hard way that rushing led to heartache and further loss, many acknowledged that they weren't in a good place and wished they had waited to heal both mentally and physically before going ahead with TTC again. Dealing with a new pregnancy and all included fears and doubts without having fully dealt with the emotions and physical nature of a recent loss can truly break a person.

TKO86 · November 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

Demaria2014 · November 2014

We got the OK from my OB and alrwady have a plan for baby #2 I am now considered high risk and will receive the best care from the best high risk hospital in Toronto

LAF0926 · November 2014

Very sorry about your loss.

PinkCamino · November 2014

Demaria2014 said:
We got the OK from my OB and alrwady have a plan for baby #2 I am now considered high risk and will receive the best care from the best high risk hospital in Toronto

What's the plan? I always wondered the treatment for suspected abruption.

indogbeersiveonlyhadone · November 2014

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't add anything, the ladies here have covered everything. Best of luck.

pmcd886 · November 2014

There is some wonderful advice in here! I am so very sorry for the loss of your son!

Demaria2014 · November 2014

What's the plan? I always wondered the treatment for suspected abruption.

My OB said going forward I am high risk and will monitor me much more closely, in addition I will be induced at 35 weeks so I can no longer go to 36 weeks.

MissesFroom · November 2014

I wanted to also say I am very sorry for your lose and send some weird internet hugs your way!!!!! Best of luck to you and your H, on your healing and your ttc decision. I agree with the others. I hope you take time for yourself first!