TTC Check-in (11/17)

channe9 · November 2014

How is your/your partner's TTC journey progressing, where are you at, and what's next?

*Reminder - If you have a BFP to announce, please do so by creating a new thread for everyone on the board to see. Thank you!

QOTW: Tell us about your holiday plans.

channe9 · November 2014

Yes, I'm posting at VERY EARLY o'clock in the US/Canada as I'm on British time and procrastinating starting my day...

I'm now 9dpo/10dpiui. (IUI#2/attempt #6) Last week, I mentioned what a challenge the TWW was and I was in the earliest of days. It's STILL difficult to keep my mind off of it. My temp is up but, looking back at my old charts, I see that that's happened before. I've been feeling kinda wonky and tired but that could have something to do with the rainy windy weather and the approach of Scottish winter wherein the sun is currently rising at 7:52 and setting at 4:01 and getting worse daily... Wife is headed to London tomorrow and won't be back until Friday night. Our blood test is Saturday morning. We discussed testing and *I think* we've decided to hold off at least until wife returns. AF is due to arrive on Friday...

QOTW: No US Thanksgiving here so business as usual. That weekend though we're inviting people round to make Christmas cookies, drink mulled wine, and help decorate our Christmas tree. My friends are a ragtag international bunch so it will be fun to share some traditions from various parts of the globe.

We'll go to wife's parents' place for Christmas day. This will be our first holiday season (solely) in the UK as we've been in some combination of the US and Brazil for the past four years.

JGY · November 2014

@channe9 I've never been good at waiting to POAS. You have all my respect for being able to hold off, especially since you've been feeling "Wonky."

Well, another step in the right direction here. I ordered our first vial of sperm for TTC#2 on Friday. Bye-bye money. Now we just go on with life as usual until IUI day. Of course S will be gone that day traveling for work, and my family will be visiting. Still not sure exactly what I want to share with them. I'll probably tell my Sister, but don't really want to go into it with my Mom and Dad until we get a BFP. I'll figure it out.

QOTW: As mentioned above, S will be away and my family will be here visiting. I feel terrible because my Dad HATES the cold and it's already freezing here and there is snow on the ground. Argh. Doesn't look like it'll warm up that much either. Anyway, I think we will have a low key T-Day. We will all help with cooking and I'm sure there will be some good wine involved. I do love Thanksgiving, it's my favorite holiday. Then, after S gets back and my family goes home, we will go and get our first family X-Mas tree. We didn't do one last year, since we always travel for X-Mas, but this year we thought we'd do a small one since G is understanding more and more. Now, to keep the cat (and dog) out of it!

Good luck to everyone this week!

JGY · November 2014

stringy813 said:

@JGY - are you using the same donor that you used with G?

@channe9 good luck in holding off to test. That's my plan this time too.

I had two IUI's last week, Friday late afternoon and Saturday mid-day. Had a +OPK Friday around 9 am (not at 5 am or 3pm, though). Friday was with the MW I dislike a bit, but Saturday the MW on call was much more fun and personable. She said I probably have a short LH surge which could make it tricky, but that it was fine to pee on all the sticks so I don't miss it. So whatever to that other lady.

Bonus, since Saturday was an on-call visit, I was the only one there, and she said my vial was "teeming (teaming?) with swimmers." I honestly didn't know they checked at this practice, so I asked if I could see. So after the IUI and the 20 minute hang out and wait - she let me look under the microscope. So cool. So at least that was reassuring to see millions of swimmers, mostly still swimming around (those guys had been at room temp for 30+ minutes so some were slowing down).

It does suck to go alone though. JGY - do you have a plan for someone to watch G while you have an IUI? We brought M to the first one and she did not do well, it was not a relaxing and calming environment with her there.

Yes! Our donor was inactivated just before the IUI that resulted in G (we had them ship the freebee along with #5, so we had it in our grubby little mits and they couldn't get it back). So he's only available to families that already have a child/ren from that donor. Having a full genetic sibling for G was one of the things that really pushed us to TTC #2.

So ... yeah it'll be kind of tricky since my family will be in town and I don't necessarily plan on telling them. But I will likely share with my Sister and just set the expectation for my parents that I need to run an errand at XX time and I need them to watch G during that time. There is no way that G could ever make it through that appointment!

I would definitely rather have S with me, but I am honestly kind of used to doing it alone. I take my iPad and play music on my belly and just really try to relax.

JGY · November 2014

CrazyAunt84 said:

C and I have reached a decision that this will be our last IUI. If this doesn't work, we will take a 2 month break (we have travel plans for December and January, and frankly I need a break) and then proceed with IVF in February. I've also agreed that if I significantly over respond this cycle, we will convert mid cycle to IVF provided there are at least 10 follies. Our clinic will not proceed with an IUI for more than 5 follicles, and they don't recommend ER for fewer than 10, so 6-9 would bench us.

I've got mixed feelings about our decision. C really strongly wanted to move to IVF immediately, and I did not. I feel like we reached a compromise but it still feels like a scary decision for me. She has always been in team 1 and done, and I have reservations about future embies on ice. She has agreed that depending on the IVF outcome (assuming we don't get pregnant with quints this cycle), she will agree to an attempt for a second child in the future if we're in a position to do so.

I'm glad that you and C were able to come to a decision, but I'm sorry that you are conflicted. I will say though, I'm shocked and EXCITED to read that she's agreed to consider a potential #2!!!

No matter what, I'm happy to hear that you have a plan forward. And also, I truly hope that you won't need it.

Karlamo · November 2014

Aaaannnd, I'm still waiting on my period. Today is day 35 which since breast feeding, is not unusual for me. I haven't bf for 4 days now so my body may very well be confused as to what's going on. Every night I don't have my period, I've been drinking a glass of wine saying "this could be my last glass for while" We haven't even come close to going TTC crazy like we did with mamosey. But I do feel I need to do some TTC things to prepare my body; like not drink while cycling. I remember when I was stimming last year how the IVF meds made me so sick that the thought of my beloved chardonnay sent me running to the bathroom. I did start a prenatal vitamin about 4 weeks ago. Better late than never:)

I ordered my meds for my FET on Friday because I was SURE I was going to get it this weekend. My insurance covered my PIO and Estrace which is nice. I also talked with the RE nurse and got a refresher on FET's since it's been over a year. I'm on the estrace for 5 days and then go in on day 6 for blood work and lining check. I have n oidea when the transfer will be other than 7 days after starting the PIO. With Thanksgiving coming up I am getting a little stressed with when the transfer will be but my RE has repeatedly said how flexible FET's are so we can push it back to work with my schedule, it's just a matter of starting the PIO later.

@Stringy813 and @JGY, We don't have a great plan as to what to do with R for our appt's and transfer either. If the timing is right we could get a sitter but otherwise he may be coming with us which will be stressful. I already told me wife how different TTC #2 is from #1. With #1 we could cater to her every need but now with a LO it's all mommy hands on deck, no special treatment for me!

@channe9 Good Luck!! I hope AF is no where in sight!

@wittyandwaiting, those numbers look promising!

@CrazyAunt84, we took a break after our last IUI attempt and before our first IVF. It was one of the best decisions we made. We went on vacation to Hawaii and had a blast.

Karlamo · November 2014

@stringy813, man that sucks! I'm sorry. Mamosey used up all her time off for maternity leave and her wrist surgery so we are hoping for a weekend transfer.

I too had a mini vent. I told her I've already come to terms with me getting the shaft with TTC#2. I've been doing almost everything around the house because of her wrist is still in a cast for 3 more weeks. I have visions of me 8 months prego this July chasing R around since I'm home with him 2 days/week. My experience will def be very different than hers!

bfonz619 · November 2014

@channe9, @jgy, @stringy813 FX for you all!

Welcome to your first check in! @sarahtrpt

@crazyaunt84 FX this is your lucky cycle! Either way, a nice break to enjoy your vacation and each other is always a good thing.

Today is CD10, which usually means O is right around the corner. Everything is setup with our new donor, so all I have to do is send the "it's go time" text and we're on! DW and I have really focused on renewing our space and our energy, so that going into this next cycle we are stress free and in a good place. As we've communicated more with our donor, we feel much more comfortable and secure in our decision to continue.

mommamommy&me · November 2014

My first TTC Monday. Next appointment is this Friday to check my uterine lining. If that goes well the Lawyer is next, (which is required here). My doctor doesn't do embryo transfer in December so I have to find out what our next move is. Ready for retrieval!☺

JGY · November 2014

stringy813 said:

I had two IUI's last week, Friday late afternoon and Saturday mid-day. Had a +OPK Friday around 9 am (not at 5 am or 3pm, though). Friday was with the MW I dislike a bit, but Saturday the MW on call was much more fun and personable. She said I probably have a short LH surge which could make it tricky, but that it was fine to pee on all the sticks so I don't miss it. So whatever to that other lady.

I'm so glad you got support to pee on all the sticks. I am most certainly going to be doing that myself. I'll repeat myself in saying, I really think those clock watchers are all about convenience for themselves and not wanting to do math and then make that math try to fit with their scheduling application.

JGY · November 2014

stringy813 said:

@karlamo
Stringy813 and JGY, We don't have a great plan as to what to do with R for our appt's and transfer either. If the timing is right we could get a sitter but otherwise he may be coming with us which will be stressful. I already told me wife how different TTC #2 is from #1. With #1 we could cater to her every need but now with a LO it's all mommy hands on deck, no special treatment for me!

I had a complete meltdown about this over the weekend cuz I was feeling like all the wife talked about was christmas lists and parties and this and that. When we were TTC#1 I was helping her chart and completely over involved in the process. When I left for Saturdays IUI I was trying to put M down for a nap (unsuccessfully) and we had to switch amongst a temper tanrtum so I could go - so I didn't even get a hug and goodluck, let alone hand holding and laughter while we were waiting around.

I just assume everything will be different w/#2 though, so it is what it is.

If all goes well, I do plan on playing a pregnancy card and sleeping on the couch sometimes and taking naps on weekends that otherwise never happens anymore.

You know I am constantly fascinated with how different all of our journeys are on this board.

With my first pregnancy, S was pretty distant and disinterested. I didn't get any special treatment, she was totally uninvolved in the TTC process (she knew when my appointments were, but that was about it). She didn't really care to know what was going on in utero, and even used the word "Gross" once when she saw G moving around in my belly. It hurt. More than hurt. But I sucked it up because truly this was my dream and not hers.

Well now that we're going for #2, I can already see a difference. Because she has that connection to the awesome end product, I can forsee things being pretty different this time around. I'm not saying I expect her to rub my feet or send me off for naps or anything, but I could see her being interested in talking to/feeling my belly, and certainly being more excited about the growth taking place in there. I'm really looking forward to it (but simultaneously not trying to set myself up for disappointment if things end up being the same).

In the end, she's an awesome Mom and that's the most important thing to me.

StacyLH24 · November 2014

@channe9 - FX this one is it for you.

@JGY - Good luck!

@sarahtrpt‌ - Welcome and good luck! Once you get started, if all goes well, it's about 5 weeks from start to finish. Of course that's assuming that there are no set backs when trying to coordinate your cycle and hers, etc.

@wittyandwaiting - Good luck!

@stringy813‌ - I'm glad all went well. FX for a BFP!

@CrazyAunt84 - I think you've got a solid plan. FX that IVF doesn't become an option.

@Karlamo - I'm sorry your body isn't doing what you had planned on. It's hard to wait when you're ready to get started. I'm glad your RE is will to make it work for you.

@sdfonz619‌ - I'm glad things are working out with your new donor.

@mommamommy&me‌ - Welcome and good luck.

StacyLH24 · November 2014

Warning - this isn't going to be the most uplifting post.

My HSG was Friday. It was by far not a good experience. For my first one I remember that during wasn't so bad, but after was the issue. So, this time I took two Aleve beforehand. I'm pretty sure it did nothing. The RE who did this one (not my RE) got the catheter in quickly and I wanted to jump off the table and scream WTF man?!?!? He was fast and furious and my ute didn't like that so much. The bloating and pain didn't start until about 5 hours later and lasted all night. I was almost in tears and was thinking "f*ck this sh*t" to myself. Everything looked good by the way. No issues in my ute and no blocked tubes.

I've never broken any bones and only twice in my life until now have I had surgery - for my wisdom teeth and to repair a torn ACL in my knee. I'm not used to being in pain - other than once a month with my endo, which is usually manageable. Since we've started TTC our journey has been full of physical pain for me. My second IUI I refer to as a vaginal bashing as that's basically what the first nurse did to me that day. Then a year ago on Wednesday was my third surgery in life. I know childbirth/c-section and recovery will be painful if I ever get there. Hopefully if we do get there, it will give us a take home baby. I know that's not a guarantee either though. I know it will all have been worth it if we get a take home baby. But there's a real good chance that we just might not - so please don't tell me that it'll happen when it happens (I'm so tired of hearing that - mostly from people IRL) because that's not always how it works. It's great to be positive, but sometimes you need to also be realistic - not everyone who starts out on this journey gets a take home baby.

So, that's where I'm at right now. I called the office on Friday and told them that we'll be doing our IVF cycle instead of an IUI. I'm just waiting for someone to call me back so we know what the plan is to move forward. I imagine starting BCPs with my next period, the endometrial scratch and then stimming, ER and ET. If a Valium or painkiller isn't offered for the endometrial scratch, I'm asking/demanding one.

QOTW: We usually have Thanksgiving at my parents' house with C's Mom and siblings as well. Christmas we spend traveling to different houses.

StacyLH24 · November 2014

@CrazyAunt84 - Gracias, my friend. You've always got some comforting words. As do many others here. I hate being so negative about it some times, but I'd rather be real than throw on a fake smile all the time. Plus, if someone else is having a rough time, know that you're not alone!

channe9 · November 2014

@StacyLH24 What a beast of a procedure. Say what you wanna say, when you wanna say it. But you know that...

@CrazyAunt84 Your kind (and curse-y) words to @StacyLH24 were exactly what I needed to hear and they weren't even directed at me. Thanks.

If I'm completely honest, I thought this was it. Even after all the other times when I thought the same and was disappointed, I thought nope, THIS is it. Then, this morning my temp dropped below the cover line and by dropped I mean fell off a freakin' cliff. No AF yet but I usually get the drop, a bump up the next day and then AF another day or two later.

So it's official... I hate all the things, including optimism. Especially optimism.

Point of clarification: for those with optimism, I do not hate you or YOUR optimism. Just mine!

OK, I'll take my sulk elsewhere. Thanks for letting me vent.

Himee33 · November 2014

@channe9 FX for you!

@sarahtrpt Welcome and good luck!

@wittyandwaiting Good luck with your first IUI!

@stringy813 FX for you!

@crazyaunt84 Fingers crossed this will be the one and you don't have to switch to IVF!

@sdfonz619 So happy you found a new donor. Good luck!

@mommamommy&me Welcome to TTC!

@StacyLH24 I agree with everything @CrazyAunt84 said! Sorry your HSG was so shitty!

I go MIA for awhile and I miss so much stuff while I'm gone! I have been working crazy hours along with overnights, Plus I have been really sick for the last week. Not exactly how I wanted to spend my last 2 medication free weeks

Nothing really new and exciting. I am still taking my BCP. My last pill will be the 22nd. I started 20 units of Lupron yesterday. My big shipment of medication arrived on Saturday. On my protocol sheet from my RE it says 350 Gonal F, well they sent me 300 and not enough to take 2 shots, plus I don't really feel like doing that anyways, so I need to call my RE office when they open. My next appointment will be on the 25th.

QOTW: We will be spending Thanksgiving with L's parents, doing a little black Friday shopping with L and my MIL. We will also be getting our Christmas tree that Saturday. As for Christmas its still all up in the air. The original plan was for my mom, brother and niece to come here, but that isn't happening now. If I go home it will be after Christmas. Plus with my IVF being so close to Christmas, I'm not sure if I will even test before Christmas

FSBC · November 2014

@channe9 Crossing all my fingers for you. I peed on many sticks!

@sarahtrpt Hello and welcome. Best of luck to you.

@wittyandwaiting praying for you and your first IUI.

@stringy813 Fingers crossed for you!

@crazyaunt84 Praying that this one will be your one.

@sdfonz619 A new donor is big news. Congrats on finding one!

@mommamommy&me Hi and welcome

So much going on this week with everyone.

Well, I had my first beta today and it was 185. The RE said its a good number so we wait to make sure it keeps going up. Back again Thursday for another test. Still hoping and praying.

QOTW: we always spend Thanksgiving with S's parents. And the Saturday after with my mom and siblings. It works better then running around like mad the day of trying to please everyone.

gobble gobble

Officerofthelaw · November 2014

channe9 Waiting is so hard. Hang in there. Wishing you lots of luck!

JGY Hoping this go around is a great one! Good Luck!

sarahtrpt Good luck with your second TTC journey!

wittyandwaiting Fingers crossed. Seems like we are on the same track, so we shall be in the two week wait together!

stringy813 Crossing everything for you!

CrazyAunt84 Hoping for good luck for you.

@ Karlamo Good luck with your journey!

FSBC Yay for good beta's!

Himee33 Good luck !

I have found it much easier to respond via a desktop, rather than my usual Iphone. And then of course my wireless keyboard would run out of battery as soon as I start typing!!

I waited to post because I had a doctor's appt. today and wanted to know exactly what I am working with this month. I have noticed that as each month goes by I tend to shut off emotionally with the process. I think because I am five months in and just over the fact that it's not working. After this month we are taking December off so that we can enjoy the holidays without the stress of this process.

My visit today went great. I am on a medicated cycle and for the first time I get to try the hCG shot which I am very happy about. I have two follicles on my left side, a 22.83mm and a 19.97mm and one follicle on my right at 20.67mm. I get to take my shot at 9:15 tonight and then will go in for an IUI on Friday morning at 9:15. Although I am excited, my doubt supersedes the excitement. I really hope this 5th one works for us. I can't imagine living life without children.

On another note, last Sunday I got dispatched to a 9 month (due in two weeks) pregnant woman attempting to kill herself. SMH of course I would be the officer dispatched when I am trying so hard to conceive. It is heart breaking...generally I shut off my emotions for work but this call bothered me a lot. The female was going to adopt the baby out, which I advised her that I appreciated that because there are many couples out there that want kids that can't have them. However, I showed my disappointment in her attempting to take her and her child's life. Makes me sad. Not even so much that I want to have children so badly, but sad that someone could even bring themselves to kill a child, breaks my heart.

For the holidays, I work all next week except Thanksgiving! So I plan on cooking (which I love) a great big Thanksgiving dinner. Haven't figured out what we are doing for Christmas yet but we do have plans to go to Kansas City Dec 10 to visit my sister and my friends.

I wish everyone luck this go around.

StacyLH24 · November 2014

@Officerofthelaw - Hopefully you will get a BFP and won't need to take a break, but if you do, it can be helpful. It's hard to sit out cycles, but it can also give you a little breathing room and a chance to reset to some degree. Good luck with your IUI!

Officerofthelaw · November 2014

Thanks @StacyLH24‌

Officerofthelaw · November 2014

@sarahtrpt‌ Yeah I lived there for many years but moved to Texas! I hate cold weather lol. Thanks for the post:)

Karlamo · November 2014

Hallelujah, I started my period. You know CD38!
Let the estrace begin!! Blood work on Monday.

Karlamo · November 2014

@StacyLH24. I'm so sorry to read about your test. This process can be so physically and emotionally painful. You're handling it with so much grace. I've been down a some what similar road as you except it wasn't my body.
I too didn't want to hear the " it'll happen next month" comments. Sadly for me, towards the end, people stopped saying them because I think they realized we just might not get a baby at the end of all this. Some just told me I lost a lot of weight and looked sad all the time. Which was even worse to hear.
I found Pintrest to be my private outlet. I know it sounds cheesy but I made a private board where I could post quotes of encouragement that I needed to hear just not from others.
To this day I have a hard time reading it without crying because it brings me back to that dark place.
I actually made another one for TTC#2 because I already have so many negative emotions and fears.
Anyway just a thought.

StacyLH24 · November 2014

@Karlamo - Thank you. I do actually have a board on Pinterest for uplifting quotes. I visit it quite often - usually during those darker moments. It really does help though.

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