Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
SSCmomma
member
Re: stm's nb vs epi questions
I would say the only thing I did differently the second time was to ask for pain relievers after the baby was born. For whatever reason my MW/LD nurse did not offer them and I didn't think to ask. So two hours or so after DD was born and the adrenaline had worn off I was in so much pain (2nd degree tear) that I felt I couldn't even hold her. It was my MIL who suggested I ask for something, don't know why it didn't occur to me! The second time around I put my mom in charge of reminding me to ask for pain relievers after baby was born and she did. I just alternated regular Tyl and Advil every 3 hours.
I do not have Restless Leg, but my cousin-law does. She had an epi both times and she never mentioned it having an impact either way.
LOVED my epis, both times. Third baby was breech and was a c-section. Epis were like a miracle for me. I had no negative effects, nor did baby. I could still move around. Maybe not walk, but I was not trying to walk anyway as I was most comfortable in bed (got a little sleep) and was also vomiting periodically. No trouble bf or walking afterwards. I don't have RLS so no advice there.
I truly think that I wouldn't have been able to have my first baby (or maybe my second) vaginally w/out the epi, as I had to push for 5 hours and 3 hours respectively and needed episiotomies with both and also vacuum for #2. It was super important for me to relax and get a little bit of rest and not have to tolerate severe pain for so long. Apparently my pelvic arch is shaped weird and it's hard to get the baby past it.
What I would not do again is get Stadol. It's a narcotic shot they gave me with DD1 before I got the epi, b/c I was in so much pain but not progressing well. THAT was crappy. it worked for a little bit but I was totally groggy and out of it and then could feel pain again but still was in a dizzy fog.
1) anyone regret their unmedicated birth? No.
2) anyone regret their epi birth?
No.
3) I have ALWAYS had restless leg syndrome and it has only gotten worse. The only thing that helps is getting up, moving, taking a shower, etc. Has anyone here who gets RLS had an epi and did it relieve the sypmtoms or did you end up confined to a bed unable to get up but still feeling the unrelenting need to move?
I have no experience there. Both times labor pains were alleviated by moving. I did have to have monitoring towards the end of both births so I was in the bed at an incline (downward) for pushing both times.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
I was planning to try going unmediated with this pregnancy but honestly after reading so many birth stories think I'll get an epi again. It really helped me.
I don't have any experience with RLS sorry!
Baby 2: EDD: 8/06/14 CP: 11/13
I had an epi and had a very good experience. You can't feel your legs at all so I don't think you'd feelRLS symptoms.
My experiences were these:
My DS1, I had an epi and it stopped my labor requiring Pitocin and only worked on one side. I had to lay in bed and feel pain and pressure but could not move to relieve it. They had to keep flipping me on my side during pushing because his heart rate dropped and it was scary for me and DH. My recovery was decent, not too bad. He would not nurse right away just wanted to sleep.
My DS2/3 we had unmedicated and intervention free births. They were only 4 hours each, empowering, beautiful experiences, nursed right away giving me confidence, easy recoveries.
Natural M/c 12/13/08 at 8w5d