LO prefers everyone over mom!

jasi704 · November 2014

Has anyone ever dealt with this? Lately, every time I pick up my LO from my MIL's house (she watches him everyday while I'm at work), he cries when I pick him up and he holds his arms out for my MIL to hold him. Then when we get home, he holds his arms out towards H. Even when my parents come over, which is maybe once a week, he wants to be with them all the time. As soon as they hand him back to me, he gets all sad. WTF??!! It's breaking my heart! This may be a dumb question, but is he old enough to "resent" me for being away so much? He's 8.5 months old, and I've been working full time since he was 2.5 months old. I don't know what to do. Or how to get his affection back

Any advice? TIA.

jasi704 · November 2014

I should add... He's fine when we're alone. I'm pretty much on my own with him in the morning and at bedtime. And he's totally sweet and happy then.

djm31012 · November 2014

Not at all! Remember babies dont have a concept of time...he cant tell if you are gone 5 minutes or 5 hours. Its all the same to him. The end of the day is really hard, they are so exhausted and cranky and they all go through phases with who they prefer. I know its so heartbreaking, I have been there. Maybe you can take a day off work and have a mommy/baby day to make yourself feel more bonded. BUt I promise you they always know who their mama is, and they always love the mama the most.

jasi704 · November 2014

Thanks @djm31012

That's a good idea. I do have like 8 vacation days I have to use before the end of the year. Maybe we'll have some mommy/baby bonding days!

potbellypig · November 2014

Kids go through phases. I get a little miffed with DD chooses DH over me to help her with things, so I can imagine how you must feel. That little boy only has one mama though, and that's you!! Maybe look at it as, he's so comfortable with the fact that you'll always be there that he doesn't mind checking other people out? You'd think that if he was really bothered by you being gone, he wouldn't want you to leave his sight.

TheBorg7of9 · November 2014

I kind of think you are over thinking this. Of course your baby loves you. He's just not showing it in the way you want him to.

lulubelle21 · November 2014

This was my son, now he's 4 and the biggest momma's boy around. It's a phase, it will get better

umma4babes · November 2014

lulubelle21 said:
This was my son, now he's 4 and the biggest momma's boy around. It's a phase, it will get better

Exactly the same here.

HobbityBarb · November 2014

I've always thought that part of it is that we are indeed their moms, and they are utterly secure that mom will always be there - so they go off and visit with the new and different people.

dashofreality · November 2014

Try not to take it personal. I know it is hard but it is great that he is secure enough to go to others and it is much easier than the phase you will be in soon enough - 'mommy please don't leave me' that one is heartbreaking.

MommyAtty · November 2014

DD goes through this even now that she's solidly 2. Most of the time she is an utter mama's girl. But then she will go through a phase (used to be weeks, now it's a day or two) where she only wants me when I am the only option. DS (6mos) seemed to always like everyone better than me, but if I fail to immediately pick him up when I get to his grandparents' house in the evenings, he gets terribly hurt and he melts down.

jasi704 · November 2014

TheBorg7of9 said:

I kind of think you are over thinking this. Of course your baby loves you. He's just not showing it in the way you want him to.

Aaahhh, you're probably right. I guess this being my first child, I naively just figured he would always prefer me over anyone else. So it's just kind of a reality check that he'll go through phases like this.

HobbityBarb said:

I've always thought that part of it is that we are indeed their moms, and they are utterly secure that mom will always be there - so they go off and visit with the new and different people.

You bring up a good point! I should be happy he's secure

And glad that he does well with other people.

krnten · November 2014

Yep, this has happened to me too with my 19 month daughter. As others have said, it's great that he feels so secure with others. It's really a blessing for you, too, because it means you don't have to worry about him being comfortable if you leave him with someone else (at least while this phase lasts!).

One time I took my daughter to the birthday party of our babysitter's daughter. As soon as she saw our babysitter, who was with a crowd of people, she cried and reached out to her - "mamma!!!" Oh man that was so mortifying. But in retrospect I'm glad she loves our babysitter so much. She still calls both of us mama.

ASmallWonder · November 2014

A gentle reality check here: Your husband also works, correct? So your theory about your LO resenting you for working is flawed since you say he's open armed to his dad.

This is a phase and sometimes they love to contradict themselves all in one day. Like, "I don't want you to leave me at daycare and I'm going to pitch the most insane fit!" and at pick up "I don't want to leave daycare and I'm going to pitch the most insane fit!"

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