Ttc after miscarriage

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

I accidentally posted my question on the ttc after a loss and I think I upset some people (I didn't mean to) so I hope I'm on the right board. I'm suffering through a MMC at 7 weeks but I'm going to try and conceive as soon as my doctor clears me and I was just wondering if anyone had any advice or could tell me how long it took to get pregnant after a miscarriage? Thanks in advance and hopefully this is the right place.

CNYBride05 · November 2014

Hm, not sure why people would get upset on TTCAL unless you didn't intro or something...

I'm sorry for your loss. As for how long it took - that's going to be so different for everyone! For us, I had a m/c in Feb and our rainbows were conceived through IVF the following November.

Good luck!

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

Thank you!

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

I'm new and I try to keep up with the rules on each group.

CNYBride05 · November 2014

Just introduce yourself and be courteous :-)

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

Thank you to both of you!

asglover514 · November 2014

So sorry for your loss. I went back and looked at your post on TTCAL because I wasn't sure why they'd be upset, I noticed you asked how long before they conceived when they are all still trying. I think it was just a word choice issue.

Anyway getting pregnant is different for everyone. A lot of people say you're a lot more fertile immediately after being pregnant and for me that was true. After my m/c I conceived again immediately. Unfortunately I am not a success story yet, my son was stillborn (not to scare you, it was just something that happened doesn't mean you'll be the same) and we avoided ttc pretty actively after that. Our BFP this year was a complete surprise.

Good luck in your TTCAL journey! The ladies on that board are amazingly supportive of each other and always happy to see graduates when you do conceive again!

CNYBride05 · November 2014

FWIW, no one over there was upset. They just said it was a more appropriate question for this board since most people over there are still trying.

Word to the wise, don't stir up drama and then board hop. Not saying you are/did, but just FYI.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

I wasn't trying to.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

CNYBride05 said:
FWIW, no one over there was upset. They just said it was a more appropriate question for this board since most people over there are still trying.

Word to the wise, don't stir up drama and then board hop. Not saying you are/did, but just FYI.

I wasn't trying to.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

jcar2 said:
I miscarried in March, was cleared after my betas dropped to zero (which took about about a month) and became pregnant in June. The length of time is different for everyone though. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Thank you, I'm sorry for your loss as well. You said you got pregnant in June. Is that of this year?

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

asglover514 said:
So sorry for your loss. I went back and looked at your post on TTCAL because I wasn't sure why they'd be upset, I noticed you asked how long before they conceived when they are all still trying. I think it was just a word choice issue.

Anyway getting pregnant is different for everyone. A lot of people say you're a lot more fertile immediately after being pregnant and for me that was true. After my m/c I conceived again immediately. Unfortunately I am not a success story yet, my son was stillborn (not to scare you, it was just something that happened doesn't mean you'll be the same) and we avoided ttc pretty actively after that. Our BFP this year was a complete surprise.

Good luck in your TTCAL journey! The ladies on that board are amazingly supportive of each other and always happy to see graduates when you do conceive again!

Thank you, I wasn't trying to offend anyone. I just lost the baby yesterday so I've been emotional and I 'm naturally sensitive anyway so I think i was just taking it wrong. I know they were Just being constructive. Thank you for the advice. I know everyone's different.

heathersf11 · November 2014

I had a BO at 7 weeks last December. I wasn't cleared by my doctor to TTC again until March. From that point it took five months of actively trying before we were able to conceive. It took me about the same amount of time to get pregnant the first time.

paintdadanta · November 2014

Sorry for your loss. As for me, we discovered a MMC in June which ended up in a drawn out process of about a month. Every doctor has their own opinion on the amount to wait to TTC again so we were told two cycles. Based on that we were cleared in early September and were lucky to get pregnant that first cycle using a basic calendar predictions on FF.

As for TTCAL, word choice is an important factor, as PPs pointed out, since no one on that board is currently pregnant and several are grieving losses. Also if you check out their blog and the top pinned post (Read this before posting here) it does say not to post anything related to am I pregnant or when did you get pregnant type questions but to come over here to PGAL instead. From what I saw no one was upset just redirecting you. Take some time to lurk and read the blog but don't be afraid to join back in. There are many amazing ladies over there but you gotta give to get support.

littlecookie · November 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. It's such a hard thing to go through. As PP have mentioned though, there unfortunately is no formula. My doc said we could try again after my first post loss period. It took me 3 cycles, but I lost that baby too. I then waited 3 cycles and got pregnant on cycle 4. Good luck and be kind to yourself.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

ktlovess said:
I'm lurking from ttcal to say that the average time it takes to get pregnant is 6 months. So, some women take way longer, and some women less. So, we can't answer this. You upset the TTCAL ladies because some of them will never get a baby. No one on TTCAL has yet to conceive their baby.

We have all lost babies and know what it's like. You just experienced your loss yesterday - don't jump the gun. Give your body, heart and mind time to heal. I'm sorry for your loss.
Eta : I reread your post and saw you had a MMC - did you have a D&C? If you did, it can be extremely hard on your uterine lining, so make sure you have the all clear before TTC again.

I apologized to them on ttcal. I didn't mean to offend anyone. I hope they saw it. I'm truly sorry.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

littlecookie said:
I'm sorry for your loss. It's such a hard thing to go through. As PP have mentioned though, there unfortunately is no formula. My doc said we could try again after my first post loss period. It took me 3 cycles, but I lost that baby too. I then waited 3 cycles and got pregnant on cycle 4. Good luck and be kind to yourself.

Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss as well.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

paintdadanta said:
Sorry for your loss. As for me, we discovered a MMC in June which ended up in a drawn out process of about a month. Every doctor has their own opinion on the amount to wait to TTC again so we were told two cycles. Based on that we were cleared in early September and were lucky to get pregnant that first cycle using a basic calendar predictions on FF.

As for TTCAL, word choice is an important factor, as PPs pointed out, since no one on that board is currently pregnant and several are grieving losses. Also if you check out their blog and the top pinned post (Read this before posting here) it does say not to post anything related to am I pregnant or when did you get pregnant type questions but to come over here to PGAL instead. From what I saw no one was upset just redirecting you. Take some time to lurk and read the blog but don't be afraid to join back in. There are many amazing ladies over there but you gotta give to get support.

Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss as well. When you say September I hope you mean this September. I go back to the doctor in a couple weeks so I'm going to discuss it with him.

I apologized to the ladies on ttcal. I hope they saw it. I apologize to anyone I offended on here as well.

kefttsc · November 2014

I had a MMC in 2010 and was cleared to try again after two cycles. It took us until May 2014 conceive again.

Everyone is very different.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

Like PP's have said, every woman is different. It took 6 months to conceive the baby we lost in March, then 2 months of waiting, and 5 months of trying to conceive this baby. My RE told me I was ovulating too late and would never get pregnant without medication (which we were going to start with my next AF), so we're calling this our miracle baby. I'm also 100% convinced I wouldn't be pregnant right now if I didn't have the HSG done.

Give yourself time to heal, physically and emotionally. TTC is hard enough on its own, TTCAL comes with even more fear, frustration and heart ache.

asglover514 · November 2014

RN536 said:

The other ladies took care of the TTCAL board issue. To answer your question besides the "everyone is different answer". After my first loss (Mmc) it took 4 cycles of actively trying (6 cycles after loss) before we got a BFP again but that ended in a quick chemical pregnancy. Then it took another 3 cycles and we got another BFP but that ended in another MMC. Then it took 5 cycles and we got another BFP that ended in a natural miscarriage. This pregnancy happened 5 cycles after the last loss. We also waited the recommended time my doc instructed before trying again. So as you can see it took me a long time to get what is hopefully going to be my rainbow. Listen to your doc. Let your body heal. Sorry for your loss. ((Hugs))

The bold portion above is probably the best advice. Your doc will recommend a wait time that is best for you and your body. You want to make sure your body is ready when you try again. Also give yourself and your SO time to heal and grieve emotionally. After my second loss it took about a year for me to be ready but my SO wasn't 100%. I gave him his time because grief is different for everyone as well.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

kefttsc said:
I had a MMC in 2010 and was cleared to try again after two cycles. It took us until May 2014 conceive again.

Everyone is very different.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

RN536 said:
The other ladies took care of the TTCAL board issue. To answer your question besides the "everyone is different answer". After my first loss (Mmc) it took 4 cycles of actively trying (6 cycles after loss) before we got a BFP again but that ended in a quick chemical pregnancy. Then it took another 3 cycles and we got another BFP but that ended in another MMC. Then it took 5 cycles and we got another BFP that ended in a natural miscarriage. This pregnancy happened 5 cycles after the last loss. We also waited the recommended time my doc instructed before trying again. So as you can see it took me a long time to get what is hopefully going to be my rainbow. Listen to your doc. Let your body heal. Sorry for your loss. ((Hugs))

Thank you, I appreciate that. I'm sorry you have suffered through so many losses. You all are some strong women.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

asglover514 said:

RN536 said:

The other ladies took care of the TTCAL board issue. To answer your question besides the "everyone is different answer". After my first loss (Mmc) it took 4 cycles of actively trying (6 cycles after loss) before we got a BFP again but that ended in a quick chemical pregnancy. Then it took another 3 cycles and we got another BFP but that ended in another MMC. Then it took 5 cycles and we got another BFP that ended in a natural miscarriage. This pregnancy happened 5 cycles after the last loss. We also waited the recommended time my doc instructed before trying again. So as you can see it took me a long time to get what is hopefully going to be my rainbow. Listen to your doc. Let your body heal. Sorry for your loss. ((Hugs))

The bold portion above is probably the best advice. Your doc will recommend a wait time that is best for you and your body. You want to make sure your body is ready when you try again. Also give yourself and your SO time to heal and grieve emotionally. After my second loss it took about a year for me to be ready but my SO wasn't 100%. I gave him his time because grief is different for everyone as well.

Thank you and all of you for all of your advice, especially about the doctor, I think I just got ahead of myself

kreardon11 · November 2014

Every body is different. It can take a while for your uterus to heal especially if you end up needing a D&C. I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum, but pathology actually found it was a molar pregnancy post D&C. I was benched for 6 months. I would recommend waiting until you finish with the MC to see if you need any other course of action to heal properly. Some women end up having retained tissue I would also say that you need to heal mentally as well. A MC is an enormous blow, and you want to make sure you grieve properly. Please take care of yourself.

FWIW, when it comes to emotionally healing, I'm Pg again and am still dealing with residual emotions from the first MC.

GL, OP.

kreardon11 · November 2014

I would also add that it is customary to intro yourself. To get support, you must give support. TTCAL and PgAL are tight knit communities. I looks like you didn't intro in either, so people may feel like you're posting and running. This is just the culture of the boards.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

kreardon11 said:
I would also add that it is customary to intro yourself. To get support, you must give support. TTCAL and PgAL are tight knit communities. I looks like you didn't intro in either, so people may feel like you're posting and running. This is just the culture of the boards.

I wasn't trying to post and run, I've been trying to keep up with everyone's answers and show my appreciation. I wasn't trying to upset anyone either, that wasn't my intention. I was redirected to the miscarriage and loss board but I decided to read over it for a few days before I post. Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it. I'm sorry for your loss and congratulations on being pregnant. I hope everything turns out great for you.

kreardon11 · November 2014

ashleyann62215 said:

I would also add that it is customary to intro yourself. To get support, you must give support. TTCAL and PgAL are tight knit communities. I looks like you didn't intro in either, so people may feel like you're posting and running. This is just the culture of the boards.
I wasn't trying to post and run, I've been trying to keep up with everyone's answers and show my appreciation. I wasn't trying to upset anyone either, that wasn't my intention. I was redirected to the miscarriage and loss board but I decided to read over it for a few days before I post. Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it. I'm sorry for your loss and congratulations on being pregnant. I hope everything turns out great for you.

Thanks @ashleyann62215!

Not pointing fingers about your actions, just letting you know the culture of the boards.

kj808 · November 2014

I had a blighted ovum in January of this year. We started actively trying again in April and we conceived in August with my current pregnancy.

Best of luck to you.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

kreardon11 said:

ashleyann62215 said:

kreardon11 said:
I would also add that it is customary to intro yourself. To get support, you must give support. TTCAL and PgAL are tight knit communities. I looks like you didn't intro in either, so people may feel like you're posting and running. This is just the culture of the boards.
I wasn't trying to post and run, I've been trying to keep up with everyone's answers and show my appreciation. I wasn't trying to upset anyone either, that wasn't my intention. I was redirected to the miscarriage and loss board but I decided to read over it for a few days before I post. Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it. I'm sorry for your loss and congratulations on being pregnant. I hope everything turns out great for you.

Thanks @ashleyann62215!

Not pointing fingers about your actions, just letting you know the culture of the boards.

Ok thank you

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

kj808 said:
I had a blighted ovum in January of this year. We started actively trying again in April and we conceived in August with my current pregnancy.

Best of luck to you.

I'm sorry for your loss. I wish the best of luck to you in your current pregnancy. Congratulations. And thank you for your condolences.

thenichleys · November 2014

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your sweet baby. Personally, I grieved HARD for several months, and at the point where you are today, I was still mostly in shock. Take some time to talk it through with your husband and any supportive family or friends. Know going into it that some people will think they are helping with what they say, but they may say something that is incredibly stupid! We lost our baby in April, and once cleared by the doctor was monitored closely and found that I didn't ovulate for months. I started Clomid and two months later became pregnant. Everyone is different. Just trust your instincts for what you are ready for. Even though I am pregnant now, I'm still grieving the loss of our first baby (especially since the due date is coming up in a few weeks). Grief is cyclical, not a straight line, so if you are feeling better than have a hard day, know that it is very normal.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

@mrskblack11‌ Congratulations! I thought my baby was a boy. Everything i picked out was blue! thank you for your condolences. It's been one big roller coaster. And thank you for answering some of my questions that helped a lot. Thinking about ttc as soon ASAP(if possible) gives me something to look forward to. The doctor said no sex for a month and that was a week ago so we will see what happens.

@thenichleys‌ thank you as well. A lot of people have been insensitive. Its one of the things that cause me to just lose it. I try to be strong but sometimes it's just too hard. Congratulations on your baby and I'll be keeping you in my t&p's. Did your on prescribe you clomid or did you have to go to a specialist?

Thanks again to the both of you. It's reassuring to have people that understand. Hugs to the both of you!

kreardon11 · November 2014

Take @ktloveless advice. She's very wise. You need to heal physically and mentally especially if you had a D&C.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

@ktlovess‌ and @kreardon11‌ my doctor said no intercourse for a month, that was a week ago, and I go back to the doctor for my follow up this coming Tuesday.

thenichleys · November 2014

I was very fortunate that my OB prescribed it. I know not all do, and it was a tough medicine to be on, but I'm so thankful for the outcome!

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