Mr. Niko's Birth Story (very long, sorry)

First, I'd like to thank all of you who gave me words of support and prayers to help me through this emotional labor. Never in my life have I felt so exhausted and defeated, but your kind and powerful words helped me find my strength and to be proud of what I had to do in order to bring this miracle into the world.

A little back story: With my 1st L&D, I didn't know my water had broken prior to admittance to the hospital and I had no pain throughout. I went unmedicated for 36 hours which included 3.5 hours of pushing. (8lbs 12oz, 20.5 in) When I say no pain, I really mean literally no pain besides the infamous "ring of fire" which made me say owwww. I didn't know when I was going into different phases of labor unless the midwives or nurses told. Pretty much the easiest labor in the world and I really lucked out. So with this next labor, I actually hoped to have some pain, but I did hope for a little shorter labor...be careful what you wish for! LOL

12:30a on Wednesday, November 12th, I woke to some mild contractions. I laid in bed for a bit to see if they were going to continue. Once confirmed, I grabbed some water and started timing. They averaged 5 minutes apart for 30-40 seconds but varied from 4-9 minutes apart. After an hour and a half and sustaining with water and food, I woke my husband to let him know; also if he wanted to let his work know but he didn't need to get up. At 5am, I text my mom and sister that I'd had been contracting so they could get what they needed to get done at work and potentially drive up (they're 45min away, but we had been getting some good snow). By 9am, I called the midwives to see what I should do as the contractions were now more regular at 3-5 minutes apart for 40-60 seconds. Because I live so close, less than 3 miles from the hospital and didn't mind getting sent home, they told me to come in to get checked. By the time I got a friend over to watch DD, it was almost 12pm before we headed to the hospital. At the hospital, my contractions slowed bit. They checked my progress, 3cm 75% effaced. Happy to know that I was progressing, but because of the lack of it and slowed contractions, we opted to go home instead of walking the halls. Back at home, I continued to time contractions and tried to stay active to really get them going. Talked to my mom and sister and told them to slowly make their way up as we're pretty sure we'd be back at the hospital that night. Finally, after 18.5hrs since the start of labor, my contractions picked up in intensity and were again 2-4 minutes apart for 60-90 seconds. Called the midwife at 7pm and went back to the hospital. Cervix checked at 4cm 90% effaced and we were admitted. By 12pm, contractions slowed down but remained intense and long; checked my cervix again and no progress had been made. We talked about all the modes of induction, morphine to sleep or being sent home with an Ambien. My brain was mush; all I wanted to do was cry and sleep. However though, I really wanted to get things going, but I was scared about induction and whether or not I'd be able to handle it med-free. Opted for morphine to sleep though I knew this could potentially stall out labor...which it did.

Thursday, November 13th (my birthday), the midwife checked my cervix, 3cm and 75% effaced! WTF?!? I know these checks are subjective, but how could I have gone backwards and by so much?!?! Midwife sent us home by 8am. By this time, I am beyond frustrated, defeated and most of all, exhausted. When I get home, I crash for 4 hours. When I wake up, I just lay in bed trying to will myself up to get this labor kicked back in. But how does one find the motivation to get up and put yourself back into so much pain? I as I start to get dressed, the tears welled up in my eyes. My husband happens to come back to check on me and I burst into tears. All I can say is how exhausted I am and how bad I felt that I had my mom come up, missing work for nothing, and him "wasting" his leave as well. Thankfully, both DH and mom tell me that there's no way being with me during this time was wasting anything. Work didn't matter, I did. After a nice long shower, I started getting the labor going again by walking, bouncing on the ball, cleaning, etc, etc. Contractions were still fairly intense, lasting 60-90 seconds but were 15-30 minutes apart (12pm). By 5pm, I'd successfully gotten the contractions pumping at 2-4 minutes apart lasting 60-90 seconds. DH asked if it was time to call and I said, nope, gonna wait until I know it's really time because the next time I go to the hospital, I'm not coming home until I have a son. By 9pm, the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart lasting 1.5-2.5 minutes and were taking my breath away. Called the midwife, went though a bazillion questions on if I thought this really was the time, told the midwife I was pretty sure I was going to breakdown and get an epidural; back to the hospital we go. I couldn't believe the intensity of the contractions and all i could think was wow, women are some strong bitches to go through this...now could I? Cervix checked at 5cm 100% effaced! Midwife said congratulations, let's get you admitted and your epidural. (Had I not been contracting, I'm sure I would of said Woo-Hoo while jumping up and down) I had DH call his step-mom and have her head to the hospital. By 10:30p, the epidural was placed and I couldn't of been happier. (boy is that a weird feeling getting it placed and being on it, but oh-so-good) I kept asking DH and the nurse if I was still contracting as I couldn't really tell and wanted to make sure they stayed frequent which I was, Thank God. I asked the nurse how I would know it was time to push and she told me that i would get the feeling I had to poop and that my body would most likely start bearing down. Around 11:30p, the nurse placed my catheter which is another weird feeling when you're on an epidural. Once complete, she had me switch to the other side for laying.

Friday, November 14th at 12am, the nurse was readjusting the contraction monitor when I started feeling something weird in my vagina. I was about to have her check to see if my catheter was falling out when we all heard this POP! My water broke with such intensity that I drenched the bed from my butt to my feet. Thankfully I had a blanket on because I'm pretty sure it would of shot off the end of the bed onto DH and MIL! All of us, including the nurse, were just in awe of the loudness and the massiveness of the rupture. As the nurse is changing out the linens I tell her, I'm getting that pooping feeling and uh, it's pushing, my body's pushing, I'm trying not to! She laughs and calls the midwife down there quickly. The pushing was so much better this time around as I couldn't catch my breath with DD and felt like I was hyperventilating. This time, it was quiet, relaxing and on my body's cue. The nurse later described it to other nurses as Zen-like. It truly was and I couldn't of asked for a better experience! The only real pain I felt was the crowning which was 10 times worse than it had been with DD; this time I whined a little bit more as I attempted to halt pushing to allow my body time to stretch. 31mins after my water broke, Mr. Nikolas Lorenzo was placed on my chest and I just broke down (didn't do this the 1st time either). I was flooded with relief, a feeling that I hope will stay with me for the rest of my life. After the cord, which was abnormally short, stopped pulsing, DH cut the cord. Niko laid on my chest and we stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.

The anticipation of his weight was pretty big as we knew I wouldn't get my 9lbs baby, but hoped we at least got to 8. Just by looking at him, we were pretty sure we didn't get it as he was so small. When the nurse picked him up she said, oh wait, he's actually heavy. On the scale (finally) he went and indeed he made it, 8lbs exactly! He measured at 19in. Then came the OMG from the nurse which sent my heart out of my chest. She turned and said, he has a huge head! Knowing how it felt when he crowned, I said, uh, no shit. (glad to have my sarcasm back LOL) She told me that babies average 30-33cm, but Niko was 38! Yup, that explains that! Once back in my arms, he started feeding, latching on like a champ, and my heart hasn't been the same since.

To those moms who deviated from their birth plans and to those who have yet to deliver: This was one of the hardest things I have gone through in my life, both physically and emotionally. I have never felt so defeated in my life. The love and support of my family, friends and you guys, helped me find my strength to power through and the acceptance of my birth decisions. Though I deviated from my unmedicated birth plan and had such doubt throughout, I can honestly say this L&D was 1 million times better than my first. In the end, I gave birth to an amazing miracle and had such peace in my heart. Listen to your body and know that however your birth went or will go, it was what you needed to do. We are strong! We are capable! We are mothers!