When to quit your job when you get paid maternity leave

wenmatt · November 2014

I'm looking for some advice ladies! I've worked for a company for almost 8 years and have been wanting to quit for a while now. With that said, I really don't plan on going back to work once my paid maternity leave ends but I don't know the best way to go about letting them know. When do I bring it up to my boss? Obviously telling him now isn't an option because I'll be taken off the books when I pop and I won't get any paid leave. So do I call them a week before my maternity leave ends and tell them I won't be coming back? Or do I go in for a week after my leave ends and put in my notice? Has anyone had a similar situation?

amberdt03 · November 2014

I think people typically wait until they have a week or 2 left of leave and give a notice.

NLewis1 · November 2014

You have to be careful here as some companies make you repay the money they paid you for leave if you don't go back.... just something to consider

Edited to add: I also feel like this very thing is what gives pregnant women a bad rap. I think it's an abuse of the system to get the extra money when you have no intention of going back to work. It hinders the fight for better paid maternity leave laws in the states. IMO

shannm · November 2014

Yeah, this post makes me sad. I know the argument is that employees have earned the benefit overtime but it really impacts how employers view pregnancies of their employees.
Personally, if I was sure I was going to quit, I wouldn't have taken paid leave. Because in my personal situation, that would have been a slap in the face to my employer who I respected.
You may want to ask on the SAHM board. Ladies here work so I don't know how many would have been in your situation.

CarrieB. · November 2014

I started job hunting soon after I got back from maternity leave with my first and ended up finding a new job and quitting 5 months after I returned from leave. But I think that's really different then quitting to stay home. I think you should either quit before your leave or finish out a couple months after you returning.

TheBorg7of9 · November 2014

NLewis1 said:
You have to be careful here as some companies make you repay the money they paid you for leave if you don't go back.... just something to consider

Edited to add: I also feel like this very thing is what gives pregnant women a bad rap. I think it's an abuse of the system to get the extra money when you have no intention of going back to work. It hinders the fight for better paid maternity leave laws in the states. IMO

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I disagree. Paid maternity leave is a benefit just like any other and should not make you an indentured servant.

groovygrl · November 2014

Just ditto everyone else... I researched mine thoroughly as I was having twins and was very concerned that they could be premature & have a lot of health issues and I would not be able to return to work... I also got a long leave and benefits so I made sure that budget-wise we would not have any issues paying that full sum back immediately and I got clarification in writing about what the part related to benefits meant from a dollar standpoint and exactly what benefits, etc, were included in the policy. Our policy was that you had to go back for the full amount that you took.

I don't blame employers at all for this policy.

ASmallWonder · November 2014

TheBorg7of9 said:

You have to be careful here as some companies make you repay the money they paid you for leave if you don't go back.... just something to consider Edited to add: I also feel like this very thing is what gives pregnant women a bad rap. I think it's an abuse of the system to get the extra money when you have no intention of going back to work. It hinders the fight for better paid maternity leave laws in the states. IMO
----------------------- I disagree.

Paid maternity leave is a benefit just like any other and should not make you an indentured servant.Yes it's a benefit but it's a benefit for the sole purpose of allowing you time with your family before returning to the job. It's just like tuition assistance. There is always an expectation (almost always specifically spelled out) that you will continue to work for the company for x amount of time after utilizing the benefit. Maternity leave is not a benefit "earned" by every employee. It is one given to ensure you able to continue your employment while also growing your family.

TheBorg7of9 · November 2014

I'm know I am in the minority and I don't expect to change any minds here. First, I believe that maternity leave is a benefit I already earned before I took it. Second, I believe that paid parental leave it a human right and not something that needs to be paid back. Third, I myself was recruited for a new job on my maternity leave. I accepted the new job with twice the pay. It was less than two weeks before I was about to return. I saw nothing wrong with what I did. It was the right choice for my family. i really dont feel like i should have turned down this offer out of some kind of loyalty to my former employer? maybe some of you would have made a different decision. But, I don't see much difference between quitting for a new job and quitting to stay at home. Fourth, my firm would not hesitate to let me go if I did not serve the bottom line. This is a business relationship, not a friendship.

I understand the opposite view, but respectfully disagree. If mandatory paid parental leave is to ever become a possibility, then attitudes about it need to change. It shouldn't be something you feel you need to payback, it should be a right available to everyone. Of course, if it were mandatory, then women would be able to be honest about their plans from the beginning without worrying about losing their paid leave, so there's that.

74dragonfly · November 2014

One thing I'd like to add is during leave other people are covering the workload. The sooner you know your plans then they can go about making permanent arrangements.

TheBorg7of9 · November 2014

Oh yes, she should definitely be aware of the possibility that she might have to pay done back and she should be careful about burning bridges.
I just don't think women should feel guilty about leaving.

Because we are women, because we've had babies, because we take maternity leave...we should not feel we OWE something to our employers for giving us something that should be a human right. If men had babies, would they feel guilty? Would they delay a job change out of a sense of gratefulness for getting leave? I don't know. But I don't think so. (But if men had babies, we'd have mandatory leave. Lol.)

djm31012 · November 2014

There are many people who abuse the system far worse than this. You have been there for 8 years, I would take your leave and not feel guilty about it. That being said, I would return to work for a week or 2 then give notice and tell them you will stay on x amount of time to help them find a replacement/train a new person.

NLewis1 · November 2014

djm31012 said:
There are many people who abuse the system far worse than this. You have been there for 8 years, I would take your leave and not feel guilty about it. That being said, I would return to work for a week or 2 then give notice and tell them you will stay on x amount of time to help them find a replacement/train a new person.

This is very different than not coming back from leave. People putting in their notice two weeks before their leave is over and not going back at all is why companies don't like giving paid leave. They have been burned too many times by women doing this and then decide not to offer paid leave at all because they just end up losing money as well as a trained employee. If women continue to do this, how are we supposed to make changes to the law requiring paid maternity leave, when women who do this are essentially ruining it for those of us that don't.

I absolutely feel differently if you come back, put in your notice, and train your replacement.

If I were offered a better job/salary while on leave, I would take it as well. But J would be prepared to pay back the money I was paid while on leave.

djm31012 · November 2014

NLewis1 said:

There are many people who abuse the system far worse than this. You have been there for 8 years, I would take your leave and not feel guilty about it. That being said, I would return to work for a week or 2 then give notice and tell them you will stay on x amount of time to help them find a replacement/train a new person.
This is very different than not coming back from leave. People putting in their notice two weeks before their leave is over and not going back at all is why companies don't like giving paid leave. They have been burned too many times by women doing this and then decide not to offer paid leave at all because they just end up losing money as well as a trained employee. If women continue to do this, how are we supposed to make changes to the law requiring paid maternity leave, when women who do this are essentially ruining it for those of us that don't. I absolutely feel differently if you come back, put in your notice, and train your replacement. If I were offered a better job/salary while on leave, I would take it as well. But J would be prepared to pay back the money I was paid while on leave.

Well OP did say she would be willing to go back for a week, then put in her notice which is why I said that. if you know in your head you are quitting after, that doesnt mean you have to quit before...just line up 1 month of childcare so you can go back and give them proper notice and time to make the necessary arrangements.

TheBorg7of9 · November 2014

You guys really think that coming back for a week or two is better than not coming back? Honest question.

djm31012 · November 2014

"putting in notice" to me means you are then assuming you will stay on at least 2 weeks or longer if they want/need you to. While that doesnt mean indefinitely, I would say that coming back and after 1 week saying, this isnt working for our family, I am willing to stay on for a month to help find a repalcement, is totally fine. Just my opinion. But yes I think coming back for a week and then telling them your intention to resign is fine.

justjinny · November 2014

TheBorg7of9 said:

Oh yes, she should definitely be aware of the possibility that she might have to pay done back and she should be careful about burning bridges. I just don't think women should feel guilty about leaving. Because we are women, because we've had babies, because we take maternity leave...we should not feel we OWE something to our employers for giving us something that should be a human right. If men had babies, would they feel guilty? Would they delay a job change out of a sense of gratefulness for getting leave? I don't know. But I don't think so. (But if men had babies, we'd have mandatory leave. Lol.)

I disagree with this. Maybe it rubs me the wrong way because you've made such a distinction about being the one to HAVE the baby - plenty of women and men take parental leaves even if they're not the one who've HAD the baby. I took 12wks leave with my first even though I didn't "have" him, and never once felt guilty about it. It's very uncommon to get leave paid unless you have a medical reason for taking leave.

In my opinion, I would owe my employer adequate notice if I'm planning to quit so they could fill my position and my co-workers wouldn't have to keep up my project load for even longer after I was supposed to come back from leave. OP should really follow her conscience on this one. I know that mine would be telling me I was up to no good and being sneaky about taking the paid maternity leave if I had no intentions of ever returning to work.

At the very least, a conversation with your boss should be had so they know you're on the fence about returning so they can prepare for it, and who knows, maybe they can offer up some part time or work from home arrangement that you'd be willing to return to?

Heavensent72 · November 2014

I think that it depends on how your employer words the maternity leave. At my place of employment it is known as STML or short term medical leave. So in my case they would not request the funds back just like someone who would not/could not return from a LTD, workers comp, FMLA, etc. But I do think that it is unethical to not return from work on a leave when you are able to. I think that you should at least give them the opportunity to fill your position. But check your policy to see if you would have to pay that back because not all employers would make you, but they should.

potbellypig · November 2014

Where I work, I would owe time after my paid mat leave. I owe 1 month for every month taken off, but keep in mind that my employer pays me 90% of my salary for 17 weeks of mat leave. I wouldn't have the option to quit until after I pay the time back, or I'd have to give them back the top up. I live in Canada, where maternity leave is treated as a right, and we still have to pay back our top-up. The province gives us employement insurance but anything on top of that, provided by the employer, has to be paid back with time (called "return of service").

I echo the sentiment above about it being unethical...no offense and maybe I'm not totally getting what your situation is, but if it happened to me as a manager I'd feel it was a douche move.

wenmatt · November 2014

Thank you all for the feedback. I know some of you are convinced I'd be acting selfishly by taking my 60% paid leave and then quitting my job .. On the other hand, a lot of you expressed feelings that mirrored my own which is that I have done this company a huge service and it is a benefit to me as a hard working employee that I receive the paid leave. (Not to mention, Massachusetts has a paid maternity leave law). Each company is different. The one I work for is a family owned business with no HR office.They work each of us hard and would rather put the millions they make each year into new computer systems and machinery instead of in our paychecks. So for some of those reasons, yes, I feel I should see this as a benefit and not think of it as 'stabbing them in the back'. When my coworker (12 year employee) went on her maternity leave, my boss wasn't sure she was coming back and he wasn't phased by it at the slightest. He seems very lenient about the issue which is why I don't feel I would be burning any bridges. If I can arrange childcare for the first month of my return, I will come back to train my replacement.

minirella · November 2014

Depends on your leave. My paid leave is sick and vacation time that I have chosen to bank over the past 7 years rather than using. If I were to leave, I would be compensated for my vacation (not sick) leave so my employer would be paying either way. I've worked in both public and private sectors and it is not uncommon for any employee to use up their sick leave prior to leaving - we tend to see this a lot with retirees. One of my old employers actually paid your sick leave upon leaving if you worked there for a certain amount of time.

KL777 · November 2014

If you have sick leave or short-term disability, you tell them after those have been used. You definitely tell them BEFORE you take maternity and resign the same day with out using anymaternity leave, because it's not maternity leave for you because you're not coming back.

potbellypig · November 2014

wenmatt said:

Thank you all for the feedback. I know some of you are convinced I'd be acting selfishly by taking my 60% paid leave and then quitting my job .. On the other hand, a lot of you expressed feelings that mirrored my own which is that I have done this company a huge service and it is a benefit to me as a hard working employee that I receive the paid leave. (Not to mention, Massachusetts has a paid maternity leave law). Each company is different. The one I work for is a family owned business with no HR office.They work each of us hard and would rather put the millions they make each year into new computer systems and machinery instead of in our paychecks. So for some of those reasons, yes, I feel I should see this as a benefit and not think of it as 'stabbing them in the back'. When my coworker (12 year employee) went on her maternity leave, my boss wasn't sure she was coming back and he wasn't phased by it at the slightest. He seems very lenient about the issue which is why I don't feel I would be burning any bridges. If I can arrange childcare for the first month of my return, I will come back to train my replacement.

So you're willing to screw over a family owned business that invests money into things that would potentially increase productivity/profits rather than put the money in your pocket? You feel entitled to this because you're expected to work hard while you're at work? You're coming off as an entitled B. I would not quit work now because FYI, staying home is not a cake walk. I tried doing it for my one-yea- leave and went crazy (really - on antidepressants and stuff because I was so unhappy). If you have the "I deserve this" attitude, you're in for a rude awakening when baby cries all day and spits up on you right after your first shower in 3 days and your partner comes home from work wondering why dinner isn't ready and why the house is a mess. Just saying...

I've worked for family owned companies, they usually can't afford to give money away. And FYI, as I've mentioned, even in Canada, where 12 months of mat leave is a right, I do not feel entitled to a top-up pay out by my employer and I certainly would not expect to be able to keep it if I quit before I paid it off.

I don't even know what to say...

kikimeemee · November 2014

TheBorg7of9 said:

NLewis1 said:
You have to be careful here as some companies make you repay the money they paid you for leave if you don't go back.... just something to consider

Edited to add: I also feel like this very thing is what gives pregnant women a bad rap. I think it's an abuse of the system to get the extra money when you have no intention of going back to work. It hinders the fight for better paid maternity leave laws in the states. IMO
-----------------------

I disagree. Paid maternity leave is a benefit just like any other and should not make you an indentured servant.

AND OP has put in 8 years at the company so I don't see a problem riding it out longer. I like the suggestion of giving abt two weeks notice at the end of your leave. However, if you are worried abt burning bridges, give your employer more of a notice.

wenmatt · November 2014

PrivacyWanted said:

sctiger said:

I also wanted to add that you are kidding yourself if you think you can work from home without childcare. Children are demanding and I don't see how you would get much work done at all. Either your work or the child's well being will suffer.
I missed this somewhere. But agree if your plan is to work at home sans child care that's not a long term solution
I saw her post on the sahm board.

ooooh

@wenmatt - it's proper board etiquette that you note that you've cross posted (XPd) the discussion. I see you've done this on three boards, and given slightly different information on each.
@SCtiger is right, a work from home job where you don't need child care is a pipe dream. Unless you can live of your SO's income alone, and just want some additional spending money and want to do something like Pampered Chef or those other MLM things. The work from home jobs that pay well are most often roles people transitioned a office job into.
steamboat123 is correct, MA does not have a paid maternity leave law. I'm not sure where you got that from, but if you look up the MA maternity leave law it's pretty clear that while they mandate it, and require any benefits to continue to be paid during that time, they are not required to pay your salary.
Have you looked into all your childcare options? Including in-homes, nanny-shares, and subsidized care?
Have you made a budget that would include childcare which is a necessity and cutting out unnecessary spending (cable, starbucks, etc)?

You're right, I got some more information about it. It's not paid by my employer, its 60% disability. I didn't realize this came through on 3 different boards until after they posted and I didn't know how to delete them.

ridesbuttons · November 2014

TheBorg7of9 said:
You guys really think that coming back for a week or two is better than not coming back? Honest question.

As a business owner that would piss me off to no end.

Edited: also your comment about doing your employer a huge service by working hard equates to being owed this benefit rubs me the wrong way. I am assuming you have been collecting a paycheque all these years, no? Do what you will but I think ethically you should be up front with your employer. If there are mat leave laws in your state then you have nothing to lose by being straight with them.

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When to quit your job when you get paid maternity leave

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