I snapped at my mom...

BookWorm1129 · November 2014

I am just tired of hearing about how we will never get the nursery ready in time because we are being slow about it...

For years the "nursery" has been our spare room and the place we put things with no real place to go. Needless to say it has accumulated a lot of things and it has turned into quite the undertaking. But we are working on it. I just wish she would trust us that it will get done. Instead, every time I talk to her and she asks about the room she makes me feel like we aren't working hard enough and don't care. This time when I talked to her and she brought it up I just got rude and mouthed off instead of at least sounding level headed. Now, I feel bad that I got *snappy* on the phone when I didn't have to be... ugh.. I guess I will be making an apology phone call in the morning...

[Deleted User] · November 2014

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StephanieLBerg · November 2014

Stephanie2378 said:
Aw. You really do have plenty of time though! Even more if baby will sleep in your room to begin with.
Why don't you invite her over one weekend for lunch and to help you work on it?

I agree with this. Hubby and I still haven't started in on the nursery and we've had baby shower gifts start rolling in this week. So the room is starting to fill up and bury the crap we are needing to pull out of there. So don't feel bad. You do still have plenty of time before the baby arrives and especially since they will be sleeping with you for a little while there after. But I would do what she suggested. See if your mom would feel more involved and happier about coming over one day, maybe even one day a week, so help you out with it. Maybe then, once she sees the work you're actually putting into it, she won't harp on you so bad anymore.

Beth.1212 · November 2014

It can be hard to keep yourself in check with all these hormones flying around! I would probably apologize to my mom too in your shoes.

That being said... she really needs to lay off! We have months before we expect our little ones to arrive. Worst case scenario, if you don't have the nursery ready when the baby is born, so what? They'll be sleeping in your room for the first two or three months anyways, right? As long as you have a place to change them and for them to sleep, you're okay.

I mean, I do think it's wise to get as much done as possible before the baby arrives because once they do life may get pretty crazy, but it doesn't sound like your mom is being very helpful here. She needs to stop nagging.

The next time mom brought it up, I'd probably explain to her that I have such-and-such planned for the baby's sleep and changing, and that was all that was essential, and that I was moving along with the nursery as quickly as I was able to. I'd tell her that I understood where she was coming from but it really wasn't helpful for her to be bringing it up all the time and I'd ask her to stop. Then, the next time she brought it up, I'd just say that we'd already discussed it and I wasn't going to get into it again, and I'd change the subject. If she wouldn't let it drop, I'd leave the conversation (ex. end the phone call, have to go home, have to go say hi to Aunt Sally at the party, etc.).

Chocolate111 · November 2014

I agree with PPs regarding how to deal with her next time she brings it up. There are WAY more important issues to worry about before the nursery! And to keep harping on you just puts unnecessary stress on you. We aren't even doing a nursery and I'm pretty sure our baby girl will be just fine. Ugh that's so frustrating.

jennjilljo · November 2014

Sometimes we need to small at people for them to realize how much extra stress they're causing us about something. Now you're mom sees how much this topic can stress you out and you can acknowledge with your apology that it did stress you out. Now would be a good time to have a fresh start on this topic with her. Sit her down, discuss your vision for the room and let her help you make a plan to finish the job while ensuring that you aren't getting overwhelmed or overworked and that it is getting done. It may also help to remind her that you still months before or absolutely has to be finished, especially if baby will sleep in your room for a few months. GL talking with your mom and it's ok that you snapped. You don't have to be perfect all the time and losing our bearings every once in a while can be good for us.

BeckyP005 · November 2014

Omg j just vented about this last Sat. We got into a huge fight over the nursery and where baby is sleeping. I had myself so worked up screaming, crying and throwing things. It took me hours to calm down. Like others said we are grown adults and I think we know what needs to be done and when!

I told myself I should of left it go but after hearing this many times I just lost it. Thank goodness she called a friend and that friend calmed her down