Pregnant after IF

WTF kind of comment was that?! Rude!! (Comment about MC mentioned)

So I have this coworker of mine who knows I am pregnant. We both a have a lot of stress this year at work and today I was pretty worked up and she told me "stop letting them get the best of you and blah blah blah" and I listened. So before she left out of my room she said "I had a miscarriage 15 years ago in December. And December is next month so you need to calm your emotions down about work". Why was that necessary to say?!?!?!? Wtf!!! I would never say anything like that to anyone and she knows about my prior loss from 2013. Granted we are from two seperate upbringings and cultures so maybe a comment like that wouldn't be so rude in her culture but regardless it really upset me. You guys know how I am not writing in my journal, haven't bought any baby items, ect so obviously MC is still a huge fear for me. I told her before she left that I felt like her comment was rude and especially since she knows I'm pregnant and she said "just sayin..." And left. I'm so pissed off. She just made me feel super on edge/uneasy.
Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

June 2014- HSG=clear

DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)
Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old
Married on 03.01.2014
Officially TTC since April 2014 
January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later
April 2014- First RE appointment
July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

August 2014- Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue and polyp

September 2014- IUI #1.1-100mg Clomid, Ovideral, 11.5 million swimmers=BFP

EDD-6/3/15- Our sweet baby Ryan was born on 1/6/15 and is in the arms of an Angel

Dx with IC on 1/6/15



Re: WTF kind of comment was that?! Rude!! (Comment about MC mentioned)

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  • @gsancho‌ right?!?! It's going to be hard because we attend weekly meetings and we are the only ones in our department! I think I'm just not going to talk to her about pregnancy again. Ever.
    Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

    June 2014- HSG=clear

    DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)
    Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old
    Married on 03.01.2014
    Officially TTC since April 2014 
    January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later
    April 2014- First RE appointment
    July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

    August 2014- Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue and polyp

    September 2014- IUI #1.1-100mg Clomid, Ovideral, 11.5 million swimmers=BFP

    EDD-6/3/15- Our sweet baby Ryan was born on 1/6/15 and is in the arms of an Angel

    Dx with IC on 1/6/15



  • Completely inappropriate! I'm assuming she's co-worker and not a friend - so why would you butt in and say anything except how are you doing and etc small talk ... I have a aunt-in-law, who just says whatever is on her mind (like you're looking pudgy today), and it's like lady not your damn business! So I feel you and hope you get a chance to put her in her place! ((Hugs))

    *May Siggy Challenge - Parenting Fails*

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  • @gsancho‌ that's just how she is. Very like "I feel this way, it's in the lords hands, I'm not going out of my way for anyone." We are very different but we work really well together. Bizarre.

    @hopeby2015‌ yeah kinda the same thing. Like where is the couth people?!?!
    Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

    June 2014- HSG=clear

    DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)
    Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old
    Married on 03.01.2014
    Officially TTC since April 2014 
    January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later
    April 2014- First RE appointment
    July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

    August 2014- Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue and polyp

    September 2014- IUI #1.1-100mg Clomid, Ovideral, 11.5 million swimmers=BFP

    EDD-6/3/15- Our sweet baby Ryan was born on 1/6/15 and is in the arms of an Angel

    Dx with IC on 1/6/15



  • Someone at work gave me the lecture about how I shouldn't get stressed out because it's bad for the baby, too. It was particularly obnoxious because it was HER department's policies that were actually stressing me out at that moment.

    I think I'm going to start asking people to see their medical degrees.

    Sorry you went through this!
    **********************siggy/ticker warning**********************

    ***Losses mentioned.*** TTC #1 since May 2012. Me: 37, OH: 41. Ectopic August 2012 => tubal damage. :'(  Stage 1 endo removed June 2013. IVF #1 Oct/Nov 2013: Long Lupron with Gonal-F. 7R, 7M, 7F. 2 txfer@3d. Nothing frozen.  => M/C @ 8 wks. :'( Selected RPL panel all normal. Very hyper and brittle response to stims. IVF #2 (antagonist protocol) Feb 2014 => Converted to IUI (Perfect conditions). BFN. IVF #2.1 w/ new RE June 2014: Antagonist protocol. 33R, 31M, 30F, 19 blasts to test!!! I made it through without crashing!! :) Hats off to Dr. Fancypants!! ET of one 5AB blast. BFN. 13 10 CCS'ed snowflakes! FET #1 PUPO as of 7/29 Betas: 8/7@24, 8/9@97, 8/11@334 (etc.) Two sacs on 8/15, one seen on 8/18 after a bleed. U/s 8/25 (6+3) "perfect": 5.9 mm + HB@120bpm! U/s 9/4 (7+6): 15.9 mm + HB@172 bpm! Please, PLEASE stick this time!!!!
    http://i955.photobucket.com/albums/ae39/catfreeburg/866da40f5178fed79efe23fc8a4e8a_zps4498a9cc.jpgimageimageimageimage
    image
  • I am sorry this happened to you. Sometimes co-workers just suck
    ===siggy warning====
    Me: 40, DH: 42
    Diagnosis: PCOS
    TTC: May 2013
    TX: IUI #1 with Follistim. Canceled due to too many follicles (10 + that were large); BENCHED
    IVF #1 March 6. 14 eggs retrieved, 10 fertilized. 
    March 11, 4 eggs transferred.
    March 21 BFP  :) Beta #1 457, Beta #2 1350, Beta #3 9619. 
    Due Date November 27, 2014
    TEAM BLUE

  • Oh wow! SO rude and insensitive. I can't imagine any culture where saying something like that is ok!
    TTC since May 2012
    Me: 32 H: 31
    DX: MFI-Very Low Count, I have Hashimotos.
    IVF prep September 2013 cancelled due to Ovarian Cyst
    IVF #1 October 2013 Antagonistic Protocol with ICSI  ER 10/31/13 (18R 16M 11F- 6 blasts to freeze)
    ET delayed due to OHSS 
    FET scheduled for July 8. Delayed due to a crazy high TSH (it had been under control for YEARS!)
    FET #1 8/5/14 sET BFN 

    All welcome!
  • She sounds like a toxic co-worker to me.  The "just sayin'" might irk me even more than the original comment.  It shows that she reflected on what she said, and thought, "Yes, that's exactly how I wanted to express myself." 

    I'm sorry you have to deal with her.  I think not talking to her about your pregnancy again is the right move.  Ain't nobody got time for that.

    *** Ticker Warning ***

    Me: 37, DH: 39, TTC 5 yrs

    2013 summary: Diagnosed with Hypothyroid; Cervical polyp removed (benign); 
    2 rounds ovidrel with timed intercourse (no result): 3 rounds IUI with clomid + ovidrel (no result)
    2014 summary (to date):
    IVF cycle 1 - ER: 4/17 (28 follicles, 3 fertilized, 2 survived to day 3);
    ET: 4/20 (3rd day, 2 embryos - 1 @ 6 cells & 1 @ 4 cells); Beta 5/1 - BFP!; 
    1st scan 5/13 - development behind, no heartbeat detected; D&C 6/2; WTF 6/13
    IVF cycle 2 - BCP begun 7/12; stims w/ HGH begun 7/26; 
    ER: 8/6, 12 follicles, 7 fertilized w/ ICSI; ET: 8/11, 3 blastocysts left, 2 transferred, 3rd arrested 8/12 - none to freeze :'(
    1st beta 8/19 - BFP! 294; 2nd beta 8/26 - 4976; 1st u/s 9/2; 2nd u/s 9/9 - two little heartbeats at 140 each!!! 
    EDD: 29-April-2015
    Other Meds: Synthroid 100 mcg/daily

      imageimageimage
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Thank you ladies for all the comments and validating my feelings about this. I'm not talking to her about it anymore. Done. Strictly work for now on.
    Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

    June 2014- HSG=clear

    DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)
    Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old
    Married on 03.01.2014
    Officially TTC since April 2014 
    January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later
    April 2014- First RE appointment
    July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

    August 2014- Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue and polyp

    September 2014- IUI #1.1-100mg Clomid, Ovideral, 11.5 million swimmers=BFP

    EDD-6/3/15- Our sweet baby Ryan was born on 1/6/15 and is in the arms of an Angel

    Dx with IC on 1/6/15



  • lib1974lib1974 member
    edited November 2014
    Ducky719 said:

    Ok, i am beyond sick of hearing these ridic comments from people. W.theactual.F. Rude, insensitive, wrong...just a few descriptors.

    Forget the tp, i say crop dust her office. In fact i think you should do it the rest of your pregnancy.

    Lol! Omg my gas is so bad right now I could totally do that to someone so easy right now.
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Fuck her. Seriously.

    I had to consciously talk myself into allowing myself to enjoy and believe in the pregnancy. It was a constant battle for a long time to think positively and act like I expected this baby to arrive. But I realized that if everything does work out (as it likely will), I would regret spending so much time worrying. And if it didn't work out, I would at least have tried to enjoy whatever time I did have with my LO inside me.

    Big hugs!!!
    ************************SIGGY WARNING***********************

    Me: 29      DH:  32
    Off birth control March 2012 - Actively trying Sept 2012-April 2014
    Unexplained Infertility
    BFP on May 5th after Follistim & IUI #3
    Ryan Henry - born 1/10/15, 7 lb 5 oz, 20 1/4 inches

    NTNP for a sibling starting March 2015
    Waiting on cycle to resume while EBF


    imageimage

  • plain and simple:  people are idiots and say some seriously weird shit to pregnant people.  It only gets worse as you get bigger.  Just remember, you're pregnant TODAY, and take it day by day.  And tell this person to go pound salt.  

    Some highlights of what idiots have said to me during my pregnancy (and my smart ass responses that shuts them up real quickly):

    (1)
    Waiter:  You look like you're due tomorrow!.  Me (as I'm waiting in line for the bathroom):  Actually, my water just broke and that's why I'm waiting for the bathroom.  (Waiter looks horrified and I walk away).

    (2)
    Checkout person:  Giving birth really hurts, like way worse than you think.  Me:  Thanks, I had absolutely no idea. 

    (3) 
    Family member:  You know you're never going to sleep again.  Me:  Wow, I thought babies were super attentive to my needs and cared so much about how I feel.  I mean don't we all have babies and some of us suffer through fertility treatments because we want more sleep?!?


    IVF #1 Oct 2013- cancelled 
    IVF #2 Mar 2014- success.... baby girl born 11/28/14
    FET #1 Mar 2016- baby boy due 12/16/16


  • That's absolutely ridiculous!!  I don't understand why some people have no thought process before they open their mouths?????

    ***SIGGY WARNING***




    me: 28 - all test normal
    DH: 33 - SA normal

    *unexplained*

    TTC since September 2011
    2011-Oct.2013 - trying off and on, ob/gyn, no meds
    November 2013-December-EOD, ob/gyn, no meds

    January 2014- ob/gyn ordered Clomid (50 mg) unmonitored, EOD-BFN
    February-Clomid 50 mg. unmontiored, EOD - BFN
    March-Switched to RE
    April- 100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel-BFN
    May - 100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel-BFN
    June-*BREAK/Switch RE*
    July- 5 mg Femara/Ovidrel + IUI #1- BFN
    August- 5 mg Femara/Ovidrel + IUI #2 - BFP!!!!

    EDD: May 7th, 2015: Team PINK



  • Wow, I have no clue what I would have said. I would have wanted to make her feel like crap and say something like "excuse me, after 3 years of ttc, 2 failed pregnancies, and 3 rounds of ivf I have my own experience with loss. So STFU."

    People are so stupid. A family member at DHs fam. Reunion asked if I wanted more kids since we're having twins I just said I don't know. She then looked at DH and said "that's what she says now, she'll change her story after labor, the easy part was getting them in there. It's getting them out that's hard." Isn't that an ironic thing to say to someone who spent thousands "getting them in there"?
    *loss and BFP mentioned*
    Me: Endo & No Tubes 
    DH: perfect!
    IVF#1 (Sept 2013) Long Lupron Protocol
               17 retrieved, 15 fert, 1 perfect blast trans, 10 frozen
                BFP--Ended-- Blighted Ovum
    FET#2 Tentative Sched: Start meds CD1=Feb 1, ET= Feb 19-20
              One Grade 4AA Blast transferred, 5dpt- BFP HPT, 6dpt- line darker
              Beta #1- 50, Beta #2- 30
              BFN- Chemical preg
    FET#3 CD1-4/11, start Injections on CD13, ET scheduled- 4/29
             CD12 u/s & bw- Lining 8.7, estrogen 335, cleared for ET in one week!
             CD19 ET- Two Grade 4AA Blast transferred one with assisted hatching
             4dpt- POAS = BFP!....POAS everyday after = DARKER! FX!
             Beta #1- 703!  Beta #2- 4,004! 
             First U/S, 5wk0d- TWO gest sacs, Both with yolk sacs and a fetal pole both measuring 3d ahead!
    ((Thank you LORD, praying these LO grow, grow, grow!)) 
    **Due date Jan 14th- Boy/Girl twins**




     imageimage

  • I don't even know in what culture that WOULD be appropriate. What an asshat.

    ***Signature/Ticker Warning***

    March 2008 - DD born - no issues conceiving (surprise). Limited issues during pregnancy/delivery.
    June 2011 - Married DH.
    June 2013 - Diagnosis of Endometriosis and PCOS (approximate).
    December 2013 - First cycle of Clomid - Positive OPK. BFN
    January 2014 - 2nd Cycle of Clomid - Positive OPK. BFN
    February 2014 - 3rd Cycle of Clomid - Positive OPK. BFN
    March 2014 - Took month off to prep for surgery
    April 2014 - Laporoscopy for endo. Unable to remove endo due to too close of proximity to ureter. HSG done as well. Fillopian tubes open.
    May 2014 - 1st round of Femara. Positive OPK. BFN.
    June 2014 - 2nd round of Femara. Moved to RE to have CD10 Follicular U/S. No Follies in left ovary. 5 follies in right. Largest follie 8mm, 1 7mm, 2 3mm, 1 2mm. Positive OPK on day of U/S. BFN. DH has SA done at this time - All results within normal limits.
    July 2014 - 3rd round of Femara. CD10 Follicular U/S. No follies in left ovary. 7 follies in right. 1 20mm, 1 12mm, 1 10mm, 4 <5mm. Scheduled for IUI. Canceled due to low estrogen level of 145. TI this month. Prepping for Injectables next month. BFN.
    August 2014 - CD3 BW Normal. Injectables not happening because of stupid miscommunication about "required injectables class." Taking class this month. No medication. TI for the month. SIS scheduled for 8/7/14. SIS results - "I have a beautiful uterus." Huzzah!
    September 2014 - Cycle cancelled due to stupid AF coming early and making my IUI run in to DH's business trip. Try again next month.
    October 2014 - Injects with IUI cycle. 75U 5 days. Estrogen at 36. Bumped up to 125 for 4 days. Estrogen 105. Bumped up to 225. Ganirelix for 2 days. 4 mature follies. Triggered 10/9. IUI 10/10.
    BFP 10/24/2014. Beta #1 - 178   Beta #2 - 398.   U/S 11/7/14- TWINS!!!!

    image

     

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