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September 2014 Moms
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Doing the deed

VavavictoriaVavavictoria member
in September 2014 Moms
So I'm 7 weeks postpartum and doing the deed is not fun. We have tried twice so far and it burns past what I'm willing to tolerate. I had an episiotomy and stitches (no idea how many). I'm thinking I may just need more time to heal? Is this abnormal or has anyone else experienced something similar?
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Re: Doing the deed

  • mtlotslovemtlotslove member
    I'm 7 weeks also and tried this morning. Had to stop because it hurt. I tore really bad and had stitches (not sure how many either). I was curious about this too...

    My husband was totally understanding and ok with everything but I know he's anxious. It's been so long
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  • JustCricketJustCricket member
    I had pain the first few times, but I had a c-section. We just made sure to use lube and that helped


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  • portentosaportentosa member
    With my first we waited until 7 weeks PP and it hurt. Lots of lube and going slow at first helped. I still had pain for a couple weeks after, but it got better with time.
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  • VavavictoriaVavavictoria member
    edited November 2014
    So did y'all just suck it up or did you stop when it hurt and give it some more time to heal? ETA: I mean will doing it more help vs rest?
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  • RedBaramidRedBaramid member
    I tore a couple stitches on my incision when I got a weird virus a couple weeks PP, I've been using the old "my incision is still a little sore and it makes me nervous to attempt sex" as the excuse.. I'm terrified of this... I know I need to suck it up though.. I think maybe I'm just going to have to pump and dump for a night and get myself wasted so I can let go and get back on the horse.
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  • kateroniumkateronium member
    We tried the first time last night and it hurt but not like last time I had a baby. This time it was only like internal if we went too deep
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  • Ahlome08Ahlome08 member
    edited November 2014
    Maybe it is worse if you tear more or had an episiotomy? I only needed 2 stitches, and, although it was slightly uncomfortable, it actually felt really good at 7 wks PP.
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  • portentosaportentosa member
    edited November 2014
    Vavavictoria said:

    So did y'all just suck it up or did you stop when it hurt and give it some more time to heal? ETA: I mean will doing it more help vs rest?

    I had a pretty deep tear causing the pain, but we kept going. Once things got really going I enjoyed myself. I was sore after the fact, but it was always worth it.
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  • suiternsuitern member
    With Ds I had an episiotomy and a lot of stitches. It hurt for a long time with sex and we waited a long time befor DTD. It hurt for at least 9 months, but we still powered through.
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  • pshaortaopshaortao member
    I had a second degree tear. Girl on top helped me keep in control plus I sucked it up. It turned out to be not so bad as long we stayed lubed up but it did burn to pee after. Now that I'm 10 weeks PP, the during doesn't hurt but I'm still sore after. Unfortunately I still don't feel the same down there as I did before. I'm hoping I will again by the end of the year!


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  • MicavanaughMicavanaugh member
    At my 6 week appt my doctor gave me a script for some numbing cream that I could use if I was sore that way sex wouldn't hurt so much. So you could ask your doctor for something like this until you are less sore.
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  • kaleb87kaleb87 member
    edited November 2014
    With my last pregnancy I had an episiotomy and 3rd degree tear. At my 6 week check up I still had all my stitches so there was definitely no dtd. I think we tried it around 11 weeks pp and oh my mother of pain! It took a long time before it didn't hurt.
    This time we just tried at 7 weeks and it didn't hurt as bad as it did with my first pregnancy. Let's just say though that I took one for the team. This time though I had cramps for a whole day afterwards?

    Eta with this delivery I only had a second degree tear and no episiotomy.
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  • emmylu30emmylu30 member
    With my last delivery I had an episiotomy and severe tearing. We waited until 9 or 10 weeks PP and it sucked major. I talked to my OB about it at my pap 4 months PP and I had some scar tissue that was bunched up that was causing pain. She broke up the scar tissue (recut and used silver nitrate) and it got a lot better after that healed up.
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  • jht14jht14 member
    We waited until after my 6 week check up and the first time hurt and we had to stop. But the next few times were better. Use lots of lube and go slow.
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  • lmk1566lmk1566 member
    Just tried the other day at 8 weeks pp with a 4th degree cut. It certainly hurt a lot. I'm hoping with perseverance that it will change but there's obviously not the same amount of down time to give it a go. :-S
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  • MelanieCSUMelanieCSU member
    I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I had a c-section and 6 weeks pp I did not have any problems. We just took things slow.
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  • VavavictoriaVavavictoria member
    I'm almost never on my computer when bumping but i just wanted to say @RedBaramid that I LOVE your pic of your DD. So cute :)
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  • VavavictoriaVavavictoria member
    And minor update for anyone else going through this for the first time like me. I took the advice of the STMs (thanks everyone :) and we tried again today. While not super fun... it was much less painful than the other time that I sucked it up and went through with it. I'm feeling much more hopeful now :) Ready for things to at least get somewhat back to normal in that area. We have always had a pretty active sex life and it seems like it would be good to have something to remind us that there is more to us than baby V. 
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  • lmimms87lmimms87 member
    FTM. DH and I tried at 6 weeks PP and it hurt so much we had to stop. I'm 7 weeks PP and we haven't tried again. I had a 2nd degree tear and lots of stitches.
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  • katee268katee268 member
    This makes me sad. Hubby and I have DTD once every week since 6 weeks PP, I'm 10 weeks PP now and to say the least it still hurts! I don't enjoy it at all and it's frustrating because I miss sex. I had an episiotomy and 3rd degree tear
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  • MLE_C2BMLE_C2B member
    With DS1 we tried slow and lubed at 9wks and it hurt like it was the first freaking time. I felt small also my cervix hurt if he went too deep. Maybe TMI but for a long time if too deep I bled a bit. It hurt a little less each time till eventually unnoticed. Probably over 6mo
    Lilypie - (JLjB)


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  • amom2fouramom2four member
    I don't remember pain or discomfort after any of my other kids and we haven't tried yet and now I'm super scared of the pain! I have time to mentally prepare because we are waiting until my appt to have my iud put in in about 2 weeks.
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  • Songbird2Songbird2 member
    I tore during birth so using lube has helped me as well! Coconut oil is amazing, plus it smells good. 10 weeks pp by the way. We tried at 6 it was awful, this time it was much more pleasurable.
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  • camichael84camichael84 member
    I had a small tear with a running stitch (so no reference for what the OB considers a "small tear"). We started having sex again after I got cleared at my 6 week PP check up. It's not amazing, but with lots of lube and telling DH what hurts and what feels good, it is at least satisfying. I figure with time, it'll get back to normal.






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