It's going to be a Freaky Friday Warning Possible Adult Content

sonpetitlapin · November 2014

I hope this Discussion won't offend anyone. If you find sexual talk offensive please do not read any further.

One of the biggest complaints people have with TTC is the stress it causes on the intimacy in a relationship and possible performance anxiety, which could even make it harder for those dealing with ED. Let's face it, it is hell trying to make a baby, especially when there could be difficulties conceiving. Temping, OPKs, Timing, Meds, Shots, anxiety, disappointment and even possible self esteem issues all plays into a time that is suppose to be a beautiful time because you are trying to create a life together and sharing of a close intimate time two partners have together.

So what are some of the things you have done to take the "pressure off" of TTC that has helped you when you BD? Maybe it could help those who are trying to find ways to alleviate the stress it causes!

Here's to Freaky Friday for promoting TTC after 35 BFP rush!! Cheers! OK...maybe a little much there.

kelley72 · November 2014

I love porn! well, "pretty" porn that is. Dh is also not afraid to get the toys out! He likes role play and I'm willing but typically bust out laughing at inopportune moments so that doesn't help. Basically we just try to spice it up every once in a while, but I will say with older children, his energy/physical level we don't do it every cycle and when we do it is often not during fertile week it just happens when it happens!

sonpetitlapin · November 2014

One of the things I learned from my marriage and going through a divorce, it is so easy to lose yourself in the everyday routine of being in a relationship. Sometimes you lose yourself. After I decided to move forward with divorce, I also chose to take a predetermined time to find me. I was married at 19 and 33 when I started the divorce process. Dang who was me? One thing I wanted to find about myself is my sensuality as a woman. It helped with my self image and self esteem personally and professionally because I felt great being the woman I am.

SO is the first real relationship post divorce. We have an amazing intimate (not just BD) relationship that is very close, passionate and intense. We have a very strong bond. Going into TTC, I didn't want to lose what we have. This has been my approach.

First, I didn't want him to feel like a tool. A means to a goal. I wanted him to know he is still the man I love. He is still the object of my deep desires. I remind him of that every day.

Two, I do try to keep the ins and out of TTC out of the mix. I don't want to overwhelm him.

Three, even though we have a very healthy sex life, I do try to ramp it up hard during fertile times. So I be me when I wasn't TTC. I let him know I want sex. I send him flirty/dirty text messages. I entice him with a whisper in his ear of what I want to do or him to do that night and then give him a kiss and send him on his way to work.

Four, I find the inner sensual self. I have my alter egos and one way I find them through music. I ramp myself up through the day at work by listen to certain songs and my AE will carry itself home to the bedroom. One AE I have is a stripper. I have the Sensual stripper when I listen to Lucinda Williams -Righteously, I have the Sexy Stripper when I listen to Beyonce -Rocket and lets not forget about the Dirty/Bad Stripper with Beyonce- Partition.

sonpetitlapin · November 2014

@kelley72 I love porn to. It is so fun to watch it with him. It gives you great ideas until you realize some of those ideas are really not made to happen in real life situations. Only for TV.

I have some toys but we don't use them. We usually forget about them. Oops.

sonpetitlapin · November 2014

@b0710 Love the outfits!! I tried that with SO. He is just not into it. As he says, it is not going to stay on you, so what is the point. It is just in my way. I have noticed through, the heels always seem to find a way to remain on...for a time period.

Nikolie93 · November 2014

@ABabyMaybe4us‌ it sounds like we have similar situations with our 1st marriage. I also married at 19 (19 and 2 weeks to be exact) but I started the divorce process at 30.

My new husband and I have a much healthier sex life (we actually do it while my ex and I never did)

He loves when I dress up so I try to find different outfits at places like goodwill (since I don't want to spend a fortune on something that will probably be ripped off) and I have fun with it. One time I put together a sexy tool girl outfit. I'm not into him dressing up at all though. Huge turn off.

We love watching porn together.

One thing he loves is when I initiate but I have a hard time doing that. My experience with my ex has left me a bit insecure. I'm trying to get better at that

We also send each other random sexy texts. That makes for a good time when he comes home!

rspalding001 · November 2014

We just try to laugh a lot, at each other and other things, and keep it real light. We act like junior high school kids teasing each other to try and get a reaction. Its silly but fun and then we dont feel like being intimate is such work.

sonpetitlapin · November 2014

@Nikolie We have similar stories more than age and divorce. That is how it was with my ex and it is with my SO. I also am working on the initiating. Still working on that sensual me. It is hard but it all takes baby steps.

@rspalding001 Laughing is the best aphrodisiac. Some of the best and less stressful BD times we have had is us being us and laughing and joking. Being who we are that made us fall in love with each other. I love it!!!

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