Introduction

gloria1804 · November 2014

*Other pregnancy mentioned*

I introduced myself briefly in the newbie check in, and felt better just acknowledging that I've been having a hard time, so I decided to do a full introduction.

I miscarried in August at 9.5 weeks with a blighted ovum. My first appointment was around 7 weeks and the sonogram showed nothing but an empty sac. My doctor told me either I miscalculated how far along I was, or there was a problem. When my bloodwork came back with high hormone levels, I was told that my timing must be off, come back in two weeks. The next appointment confirmed that I was going to lose the pregnancy, and I had a D&C that same day (my hormone levels had gone up in the interim two weeks, and the doctor said it could be several weeks before anything happened naturally).

In between my appointments, while I was waiting to hear whether or not I was going to miscarry, I got a call from my brother and sister-in-law announcing their pregnancy and -- surprise -- she has the same EDD that I had.

We never told our families that I was pregnant, let alone that I miscarried. I've been trying to give myself time, but it's been really hard. We're hosting Thanksgiving this year (plans were made well before any of this was happening), and both sets of parents and -- yup -- sister-in-law and brother are flying in. Even sister-in-law's parents are coming. Knowing this is coming up has been rough.

I wanted to say thank you for creating such a comforting environment. I appreciate that I have somewhere to talk openly about what I've kept hidden.

MrsKush1014 · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss, welcome to the board. My brother and sister-in-law also announced their pregnancy after I miscarried. They new of my MC, so they were sensitive to that fact when announcing, but it was still very difficult for me. {{hugs}}

Also, could you please add a *other pregnancy mentioned* warning to your post? Some ladies may be having a difficult day and want to skip over posts containing healthy pregnancies.

rmpar29 · November 2014

I'm very sorry for your loss and the SIL situation. I hope that you can find some peace and that Thanksgiving isn't too hard on you. ((((HUGS))))

welly01 · November 2014

@gloria1804, I'm so sorry for your loss. My SIL is also pregnant, due 2 days after me. DH ended up telling them about our MC before we knew they were pregnant. We've had to see them once and will again for Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. It is so hard, even though we're so excited for them. My plan to cope is to be slightly inebriated at Thanksgiving. Sending you hugs and strength to get through the day.

ctk181 · November 2014

Welcome. I'm so sorry for your loss. Would you ever consider just telling each of your parents and your brother and SIL about your loss? It is definitely a personal decision but it might make your holiday a bit easier if they knew.

gloria1804 · November 2014

I'm torn between letting people know and just keeping it to myself. We never told anyone that we were going to start TTC, because we didn't want every phone call to be a discussion about it.

I'm fearful that people -- family included -- will be very dismissive because it was an early loss. I don't want to get into a situation where I feel like I have to justify having a hard time, even a few months later, or hear all about "well, you think that's bad, I had a friend and THIS happened, so you are actually lucky." If someone says something hurtful now, at least I can shrug it off because they didn't know; if someone says something hurtful after they know, I don't know that I'll be in a particularly forgiving mood.

I feel as though I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

uromys · November 2014

I'm with @furrypaws‌. We told out family and friends about our loss to keep the constant questions of when I was going to get pregnant at bay. It seems to of helped a lot and people just don't ask anymore. Talking about it made me feel better and our family has been very supportive.

I'm sorry for your loss and that you have found yourself in this uneasy situation. Hopefully you find peace and comfort here. Welcome to the board.

alm288 · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I ended up telling my close family members and friends after my loss. The majority of them were very supportive . . . but you need to decide what is best for you. I hope Thanksgiving isn't too hard on you. Welcome

jordangoodnight · November 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. My husband and I told close family very early on and it was hard to share the news that I had miscarried. But it did help to have people to lean on who understood what I was going through. My mother and grandmother are really the only ones I've talked to about it. Everyone else has respected that it's hard to talk about and not brought it up.

flyoffeve · November 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome. (Hugs)

ImJessesGirl · November 2014

Oh I am so sorry you are feeling this way and that it has been so hard for you. I pray that the holidays bring peace and comfort and that you will find the support you need to get through it all.

reginaphilangee · November 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.

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