It's been a while... (BFP mentioned)

Whales124 · November 2014

Hi Ladies, it's been a while since I have posted here and I'm sure my siggy is a wreck. I lurk/check in on you all every day, but being only on mobile I find it cumbersome to post regularly and my DD gets to use my phone more than me most days - sorry.

So, here's the issue that brings me back. My close friend suggested I come here since you were all such a support system last time.

I was lucky enough to get a surprise BFP a few weeks ago after visiting my RE in August to talk about #2. I was completely taken by surprise and to be honest, not fully ready to embrace the idea having had so many complications in the past. To get pregnant by accident felt completely foreign and uncomfortable to me, weird I know.

I called my MFM right away, got blood work, and finally yesterday went for my 1st US at what should be 7w. No heartbeat, measuring 6w5d. We saw a HB by then with Clare. They did not sound hopeful and said to come back Monday.

I'm in limbo, I feel lost, I really feel douped. I'm angry that I let myself start to get excited knowing how impossible this seemed to my scientific mind. I find the negative creeping in and taking over and being that it is so early I don't really have people IRL to turn to, so here I am again, barging in. I know you can't tell me what to feel, but I also know that getting it out to such a strong group of women helps me to feel better too.

Any success stories to share? DH and I have been googling, I know, shame on us.

TJ1979 · November 2014

I can't remember exactly when we saw the HB for #2, but I remember not seeing it the first time we went and being very worried. I completely understand how scared you are right now, especially given everything you went through before. You will be in my T&P. GL on Monday, please keep us posted. Until then, just try to breathe.

jesselayne8 · November 2014

((Hugs)) hope you get good news on Monday.

JBDamonM · November 2014

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. FWIW I would probably have had ALL of the same feelings as you. FX for a miracle on Monday.

mcgeeva · November 2014

Hoping for the best for you! When will you get results for your betas?

Julie21613 · November 2014

So sorry you are dealing with this. Praying you get good news on Monday. {{HUGS}}

Whales124 · November 2014

mcgeeva said:
Hoping for the best for you! When will you get results for your betas?

They only drew one beta after the +hpt, it was 3000 and that was 3 days after my missed period.

It's all very odd to me to just have one beta and one ultrasound at 7w

luvboston · November 2014

As someone who has been in your position many times I will be truthful at 7 weeks if there is no hb there is little hope there will be. Are you positive your dates are correct? Be prepared for the worst and possibly you will get a nice surprise? Do you have any pg symptoms?

Whales124 · November 2014

luvboston said:
As someone who has been in your position many times I will be truthful at 7 weeks if there is no hb there is little hope there will be. Are you positive your dates are correct? Be prepared for the worst and possibly you will get a nice surprise? Do you have any pg symptoms?

I appreciate your honesty. The cruel joke is I have a ton of symptoms, more than with Clare. Personally I think the progesterone is keeping things from happening naturally, which is what I was afraid of.

I guess where I'm conflicted is that I'm more comfortable preparing for the worse, probably because of IF, but then I feel guilty for not being hopeful.

Mayzie15 · November 2014

I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. Fx that you get some information either way - being in limbo is so tough.

TJ1979 · November 2014

Whales124 said:

As someone who has been in your position many times I will be truthful at 7 weeks if there is no hb there is little hope there will be. Are you positive your dates are correct? Be prepared for the worst and possibly you will get a nice surprise? Do you have any pg symptoms?
I appreciate your honesty. The cruel joke is I have a ton of symptoms, more than with Clare. Personally I think the progesterone is keeping things from happening naturally, which is what I was afraid of. I guess where I'm conflicted is that I'm more comfortable preparing for the worse, probably because of IF, but then I feel guilty for not being hopeful.

Don't feel guilty. Feel how you feel. There's no shame in that. I didn't let myself get attached emotionally to my babies until I could feel them every single day. It's normal to have so many feelings.

kmc84 · November 2014

((Hugs))

I do agree with everything Luv said. I have everything crossed for you that things turn out well. I'm hoping your dates were just off!

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