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How to talk to your Doc? (Loss Mentioned)

RahxyRahxy member
in Pregnant after a Loss

As mentioned in the title, I had a miscarriage. It happened in June, and it took a lot for me to get past it. But the OB I was seeing through the M/C was wonderful, and said that even though I've only had one miscarriage, for future pregnancies he suggested testing levels regularly in the beginning, and an early ultrasound. "Better safe than sorry".

GREAT. I freaking love this guy. He's blunt, straight forward, but flexible and works with his patients. Well...I'm pregnant again now, and he's not doing pregnancies anymore! I've been referred to a doctor I've never seen before, and I don't know what his stance is on my situation. (I'm not at all comfortable with doctors whose opinion is "Unless you have 3 losses I'm going to treat you like you haven't had any")

I'm really nervous, and I want to be able to go in and make sure we're on the same page, and not get talked to like a child. Are there any questions that I wouldn't normally think of that I should ask him? Should I ask for an early ultrasound, or regular hcg testing? Am I totally overreacting here?

My confirmation appt is Tuesday, should I request to have my progesterone levels testing along with my hcg? I've never been great about being blunt and pushy with doctors. I kind of shrink up and shut down. But usually my hubby will jump in and ask the important questions. Well we're both at a loss here, so I'm gonna have to step up and do the pushing!

Normally, I just google things for hours until I find the answers that feel right. But I'll be honest with you, I've been so nauseous and tired today, I just can't do it! And y'all are nothing if not opinionated, well-informed ladies!


If I'm being silly and over-worrying, just let me know! Last pregnancy, I haunted these forums, just reading the horror stories, and wound up living through a horror story of my own. This time, I've kept pretty positive, and even though I've read some sad tales from you ladies, I've seen so many more happy endings! It really keeps my hope up. 

This post is all over the place, SORRY! I just ate a bunch of pizza rolls that I squeezed the filling out of (I guess I just wanted saucy dough?) and now I'm about ready for another nap! Thanks for being such a supportive and lovely group! I'd be (more of) a mess without y'all! 

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Re: How to talk to your Doc? (Loss Mentioned)

  • BostonchelleBostonchelle member
    I don't think there is any reason you can't explain your situation and ask that the doctor to do an early ultrasound. A lot of people have success and find comfort in having their levels tested- I am not one of them, but if that will make you feel better it can't hurt to ask either. I also think if you ask a doctor to do certain things and the answer you get isn't given in a way that makes you comfortable (ex. wait til you've had 3 losses) that may not be the doctor for you.
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  • RahxyRahxy member
    Thank you! I feel a lot less crazy now. :)
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  • RahxyRahxy member
    Thanks! It eases my mind to know there's others who feel the same way I do lol. I just want to see on paper that things are going the way they should! Nothing wrong with that, right? Hopefully this doctor is as understanding and wonderful as everyone says he is! And fingers crossed I can afford any testing that we would want done! (Insurance doesn't kick in until the first of the year, le sigh!)
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  • peggels24peggels24 member
    Write everything down that you want to go over and pull it out when you talk to the doctor.  Explain that you are a little nervous and you wrote down some questions and things you want to go over.  I find that it's easier to ask the difficult questions if I have them written down.
    BFP #1 09/26/2013 EDD 06/04/2013 MMC 11/01/2013
    BFP #2 05/15/2014 EDD 01/24/2015

    Pregnancy Ticker


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  • kreardon11kreardon11 member
    peggels24 said:
    Write everything down that you want to go over and pull it out when you talk to the doctor.  Explain that you are a little nervous and you wrote down some questions and things you want to go over.  I find that it's easier to ask the difficult questions if I have them written down.
    @peggels24 - This is very wise. I always tell my DH questions and he even forgets! 

    I think that if you have a question or concern - call your doc and talk it through. If you want betas, they'll likely let you. If you need an early ultrasound, they may let you and if it settles you enough to enjoy your pregnancy then ask for it. Nothing it off limits - it's your health. And the health of your baby. 
    ________________________
    Married my partner in crime 06/11/11
    DH: 29, Me: 28
    Started TTC 10/01/2013
    BFP#1: 03/05/14 | EDD: 11/11/14 | MC: 04/10/14 | D&C 05/01/14 [Molar]
    BFP#2: 10/15/14 | EDD: 06/25/14 | MC: 12/02/14 | D&C 12/04/14 [MMC]
    Current Status: RE appt 01/20/15 & Cleared to TTC
    Plan: Baby Aspirin, More (raw) folate, PNP, Iron, diet
    DX: MTHFR hetero C677T, ANA+ Homogeneous, Anemia. Ige sensitivities: gluten, egg, dairy
    All AL Welcome<3
    “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”
    We will never forgot our angels<3


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  • Mel&John2013Mel&John2013 member
    Congratulations!

    Maybe you could start by asking what the new doctor suggests to reassure you through this difficult process? If you don't like the answer you can look around for another doctor.
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  • aklengakleng member
    My doctor is one the goes by the 3 consecutive loss rule for testing, however, she told me that I could absolutely request an early ultrasound if it would help give me peace of mind. We ultimately opted not to do an early u/s, but it was great to have that option. My OB has been incredibly supportive during this pregnancy. So I guess what I'm saying is that even "3 loss" doctors can still be wonderful and supportive. As PP said, write down your questions and know you can choose a new doctor if you don't feel comfortable with this one.

    Congrats!
    For SuzyQ
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    and all M15 loss moms
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    BFP #1 12/31/13, EDD 09/12/14, MMC Discovered 02/20/14 (10w6d) Est. Loss @ 8-9w, MC 02/22/14
    BFP #2 06/25/14, EDD 02/28/15 Grow Baby, Grow!
    It's a BOY!!
    All After a Loss Welcome!
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