Weaning & Potty Training
Toni79
member
Ok ... Feel free to flame me since it's been forever since I've been on the board. But I need some advide with weaning & potty training. Ok ... most people don't think these go hand and hand ... but follow my crazy logic on this ...
I seriously NEED to have DD 100% weaned. I can't start IVF treatments again until she's 100% weaned with no BF for a month. I've known this for a while now (since we met with our RE last January, yes January).
Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of our accomplishement, although I keep it pretty hush-hus since its not the norm to BF this long! My x-mas card will not have DD BFing on it! LOL! I've always wanted DD to self wean but at this point I need to guide her a little. I really want to be 100% weaned by the end of the year so I can start IVF treatments again soon after that! That's 2 months from now, and really should be dooable!
For the most part I do "don't offer, don't refuse".
Since the spring she's been down to 3 sessions a day - wake up, when I got home from work, and bedtime. I was hoping she'd drop the after work session over the spring/summer, but we had some transitions so that didn't happen (starting DC, transitionsing rooms at DC, etc) .
Over the last month she's dropped the after work session, with a little bit of guidance. I've been able to distract her with dinner on the table, fun activites (stikcers, play dough, etc) . It helps that DH has a diluted cup of juice waiting for her when he picks her up from DC. That quenches her thirst and she forgets about quenching it with mommy. There's been a few days she asked for it and I wasn't able to distract, and she was persistant. But for the most part I'd say we are 99% done with that session.
My next goal is the morning session ... she's been forgetting about it the last 2 weekends in the morning. Distracted to see daddy or g-parents there. This week she skipped 2 weekday mornings. She was distracted by something ... one day it was signing mommy happy birthday!
I need to find other distractions in the morning ... DH is already gone when I wake her, so sending him in is not an option. Here's where the potty comes in ... lol
We've been taking the potty thing slow. (Obviously our MO around here!) She sits and pees on the potty at school. The teacher gives them a small treat if they pee in the potty (ONE mini m&m, marshmallow, candy corn, etc). She usually pees for me on the potty in the morning and before bath. I don't do candy rewards. At this point I just do cheers and praise. Recently she's been telling me that she doesn't want to sit on the potty at home. I'm guessing the cheers and praise aren't enough for her, now that she's had the candy reward at school!
Recently our mornings have been a little battle ... she wants to BF ... I try to distract with "look at this outfit I picked out for you / cup of milk / let's get dressed first / etc" ... then we BF ... go into the bathroom to get ready ... and she doesn't want to sit on the potty!
Although I'm not a huge fan of candy rewards, I've been debating doing the mini m&ms at home. Maybe the m&m will be enough to encourage her to use the potty ... and hence be distracted from BFing in the morning. Since once we are in the bathroom I get her ready in there and she's not in her room with the rocking chair as a BF trigger. If that makes sence? Although I'm worried that might back fail since there have been mornings I've been able to get her into the bathroom to get ready without BFing, and she asks to BF once she's dressed! UG!
I could do a sticker chart with a small reward when it's full ... but then I'd have to make sure I have ideas for rewards! LOL!
I'm in no rush to have her in underwear ... we're not in full potty trainning mode or anything ... just making the potty fun and part of our routine. So I feel "bad" using one transiton (potty) to help distract from the other transition (dropping the morning session). I'm also worried about the emotional side of things ... don't all the "experts" say not to wean, potty train, or any other big transitions when other transitions (stressors) are going on (moving, new baby, etc). Maybe I'm over thinking the emotional part of it.
But I'm also worried that whatever "reward" I choose to do at home is going to be sticking around for a while ... not just while we are weaning ... so I want to makse sure that the potty "reward" is something I'm ok with.
OMG! Sorry so long. Believe it or not I went through and edited this down! If I knew how to add a gif I would add one as a reward for reading my life story!
My Journey to Motherhood
Me 36, DH 42
7.5 years of TTC ... It never gets any easier.
Baby Girl # 1
TTC Since January 2009
Reproductive Endocrinologist diagnosed us "Unexplained Infertility".
After 3 years . . . 3 IUIs . . . and 3 IVFs . . . our miracle GIRL arrived on August 6, 2012.
Baby Girl # 2
TTC Since June 2013
Got pregnant on our own without Fertility Treatments - January 2016! Thank you snow storm Jonas!
EDD 10/15/16
At 20-week anatomy scan found IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction), and very low Amniotic Fluid. Now, I'm High Risk and have weekly ultrasounds to monitor fluid and growth. If baby runs out of room or is too growth restricted, they will deliver ASAP. My current goal is to make it to 28 weeks!
Re: Weaning & Potty Training
My Journey to Motherhood
Me 36, DH 42
7.5 years of TTC ... It never gets any easier.
Baby Girl # 1
TTC Since January 2009
Reproductive Endocrinologist diagnosed us "Unexplained Infertility".
After 3 years . . . 3 IUIs . . . and 3 IVFs . . . our miracle GIRL arrived on August 6, 2012.
Baby Girl # 2
TTC Since June 2013
Got pregnant on our own without Fertility Treatments - January 2016! Thank you snow storm Jonas!
EDD 10/15/16
At 20-week anatomy scan found IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction), and very low Amniotic Fluid. Now, I'm High Risk and have weekly ultrasounds to monitor fluid and growth. If baby runs out of room or is too growth restricted, they will deliver ASAP. My current goal is to make it to 28 weeks!
congrats on making it to 2! honestly, i would focus on just one of these things at a time. i feel like trying to tackle both is overwhelming for both your DD and you. i would start with the weaning, since you want to get that accomplished first. could you have your DH heat up some cow's milk (maybe mix in some honey to make it extra-appealing) that you could give her in the morning while you hold her and rock her? then she's getting the closeness/cuddling and some form of substitute milk. i think it's important that you still have some sort of "special time" with her in the mornings (and at the other times she used to BF, too) to replace the BFing.
once you have gently weaned and are well into your new, non-BFing routine, then i'd work on the potty training. your DC can help you out a lot on that front during the day.
Hi! It's nice to see you back!
On the breastfeeding front, maybe I don't understand well since I weaned both of my kids before a year, but....why not just explain to her that she's a big girl now and she doesn't need to breastfeed anymore?
It seems a little silly to me to try all these elaborate distraction methods when you could just gently say no and she'd probably stop trying after a few days or a week?
Thanks for the feedback ladies!
On the weaning front ... The past 2 weeks have gone well. The week I posted the origional post she skipped 2 morning sessions on her own. Last week my work sent me to a training class, so we had to adjust our scheudles. DH got her ready in the morning and took her to school. I was there when he got her up and we all left the house at the same time. She was so excited that DH was there, that she didn't ask to BF once (even though she saw me and gave me lots of hugs, etc). This week we are back to our normal routine. She did BF Saturday morning, and this morning. But that's ok.We've made alot of progress! Only twice in 1.5 weeks isn't too bad! I'm definatly going to try some of your ideas!
@sdlaura - It's hard to describe. Sometimes I wish that I weaned when she was younger. But she has always been verry attached. Now at 2+ she's got some mad negotiation skills. And like most 2 yr old, has melt downs any time you tell them no about anything. Thankfully though she hasn't had any meltdowns over weaning! But, BFing has become part of her routine, so she asks for it without even thinking twice. Hence why distractions are key! With the "don't offer don't refuse" technique you're not really supposed to say "no" becasue the child feels emotionally rejected. Sometimes if she kind of mumbles it under her breath, I just pretend like I didn't hear her, and move on with our routine. If she's presistant, I may say, let's get dressed first. Sometimes she forgets, but other times she'll ask again. If she's really persistant, we'll BF. I do talk to her about it (although I could explain it better to her). When we BF at bedtime I tell her that I'm proud of her that she didn't BF that morning, etc. I like to show her things with books. But I haven't found any good books about children weaning. (There's one about night time weaning, "Milkies in the morning", but that is specifically about night BFing, which thankfully she doesn't do.)
Can anyone reccomend any weaning books for children?
@sandybananas - Thanks for your perspective. I feel the same way, that this is not something DD would do on her own without a little nugging from mommy. I'm glad that cold turkey worked out for you. Although it does sound pretty stressful! I'd prefer not to do cold turkey (unless I had to) because I know both she and I would be too grumpy. And according to DH, DD and I feed off of each others grumpness! LOL! I'd rather it be more gradual so she (and I) have time to adjust (and not be grumpy).
@vvvvfee - I like your idea of offering a special drink in the morning. I tried this a few times when I was cutting the after work session out, and sometimes I feel like I made it worse. Like, why would I want that milk when BF is right there! But maybe its's worth trying again, espchally with some honey!
@vic8504 - I like your idea of removing the rocking chair. I've actually thought about doing that when we start working on eleimating the bedtime session. So I'll probably remove it in a few weeks. I also like your idea of playing some music in the morning. She loves music! I'll need to find something to help motivate her to help get ready too! Becasue sometimes just getting her washed up and dressed it a battle in of itself! LOL!
A lot of you mentioned focuing on one transition at a time. I do agree. However, I probably should clarify, I'm not really in the "full force potty training mode". Although she is at times very interested in the potty. Her DC gives candy for peeing in the potty. She usually pees at school 3-4 times out of 5-6 tries. She used to sit on it and pee no problem for me, but since I don't give candy she's not as interested. We're not ready for diaper free. I just want to incourage the routine of sitting on the potty and trying. Specifially first thing in the morning and before bath time (since those are the times we are home during the week). I started a small sticker chart this week and it is working well. I try not to say "IF you pee you get a sticker". When she pees, I just say "let's put a sticker on your potty chart". Then at the end of the day we count how many times she peed (count the stickers). Ususlly during the week it's 2x at home. It's funny becasue as soon as she sees her chart she'll say she needs to go pee. This morning she pooped on the potty too, so she got 2 stickers on her chart!
Some things I'm not sure how to handle are ...
1. Sometimes she doesn't want to get off the potty! Like if she's been sitting there for a while and I say ok we're done. She gets mad and says "No! I go pee". Then sometimes she will pee. But it is just frustrating that she just wants to sit there and hang out! I try saying that I'm going to sing a song and then we'll be done. That worked for a while, but recently, she just tells me no when I start siginng! How do I get her off the potty???
2. Back in early September she had a really bad yeast infection. After school I would let her go diaper free for a few hours. She'd either be bear bottom, with just shorts, or sometimes in undies and shorts. She did ok (sometimes good about trying the potty frequently and then other times having accidents). I wasn't trying to potty train. I just wanted to give her bottom some air! But since then she's been asking for underwear or shorts a few times a week. I feel bad telling her she needs the diaper but she's not trainned yet! And I can't send her to school yet in undies! I'm not sure how to handle her requests? I'm worried if I let her go diaper free in the evenings, but not durign the day at school I will confuse her?!?!?
I think if I were going cold turkey on the BF and doing a "3-day potty training boot camp" that would defiantly be bad! LOL! But I think gradually weaning and introducing the potty is so far so good. Espchally since the weaning is very gradual, only eliminating 1 session per month!
Sorry so long ... I just have so much on my mind!
My Journey to Motherhood
Me 36, DH 42
7.5 years of TTC ... It never gets any easier.
Baby Girl # 1
TTC Since January 2009
Reproductive Endocrinologist diagnosed us "Unexplained Infertility".
After 3 years . . . 3 IUIs . . . and 3 IVFs . . . our miracle GIRL arrived on August 6, 2012.
Baby Girl # 2
TTC Since June 2013
Got pregnant on our own without Fertility Treatments - January 2016! Thank you snow storm Jonas!
EDD 10/15/16
At 20-week anatomy scan found IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction), and very low Amniotic Fluid. Now, I'm High Risk and have weekly ultrasounds to monitor fluid and growth. If baby runs out of room or is too growth restricted, they will deliver ASAP. My current goal is to make it to 28 weeks!