Baby Names

Keeping it Quiet

AllieDionneAllieDionne member
10 Comments
edited November 2014 in Baby Names
My fiancée and I are expecting our first little one in June and we are trying to decide how to handle the naming situation. We both have decided that we would like to keep the baby name we decide on a secret until the baby is born and is named. However we are getting a lot of trouble about it from both of our mothers.... Is there anyone else doing it this way and if so how did you handle people when you informed them it was going to be a suprise?

Re: Keeping it Quiet

  • Tell them you're still deciding??
  • we are keeping ours a secret and basically just telling everyone we haven't completely decided yet. of course we have the sneaky family members fishing around by saying "but what if we want to have things monogrammed?"... it's ridiculous, but DH and i want to keep this special and just between us since it's an adoption and so much of it has been so discussed so openly with family members anyway. they can find out with the rest of the world when he's here! 
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  • We kept DD's name a secret, partially because we weren't sure what we were going to name her until she was born.  (we took 3 names to the hospital).

    What we did do was tell people names we had liked, but ultimately rejected for one reason or another.  The names we told friends/ family members were similar in style to the name we had ultimately chosen, so there were no real suprises or hurt feelings from family memebers (specifically my parents).

    You can also deflect attention from yourself by turning it around and asking your mom for suggestions for names. 

    GL!

     

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  • We kept our son's name to ourselves and we will again with this baby. Yeah sure, people didn't like it, but it's too bad. It's our baby to name and our name to share. Just tell them to wait. Simple.
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  • We are definitely doing this.  We will share the baby's sex with family but this is one thing we can keep special between the two of us.  I also don't want to hear people's opinions about the names we choose.
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  • I've never decided before my LOs were born. I would tell people you are waiting till you meet your LO before you commit. Then maybe toss around some names you like. People like to talk names so I think it's fun to indulge them with that.
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  • ashiscute said:
    I've never decided before my LOs were born. I would tell people you are waiting till you meet your LO before you commit. Then maybe toss around some names you like. People like to talk names so I think it's fun to indulge them with that.
    Also this.

    My parents had a name chosen for my baby brother for over two years.  He is adopted so for the two years that we were waiting for a baby he was baby Mason...we finally brought him home only to realize he was NOT a Mason.  So they changed his name.  My parents also did this with another one of my brothers, a week after he was born they changed his name!
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  • Telling people you are still deciding runs the risk of people (your mothers?) constantly giving you name suggestions. If that doesn't bother you, "we're still deciding" might be a good approach. 

    DH's family didn't really ask. My mom asked a lot, and when I told her we weren't going to tell until the baby was born, she asked for hints. Like, "What kind of name is it?" What does that even mean?  

    Naming a baby can be difficult, but it's fun, and other people like to join in.  But, my mom had her chance to name her kids, and now it's my turn, so she doesn't get a say.     

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  • We specifically didn't find out the sex for this reason. If we decide for a future child to find out the sex of a baby, we still won't tell. I don't think we made a final decision until after he was born. We had ideas. Its your decision -- they got to name their kids.
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  • Don't say you're not sharing.  Just say that you don't know yet.  It goes over a lot easier.  People don't feel you're hiding something from them.
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  • femmepink said:

    We kept our son's name to ourselves and we will again with this baby. Yeah sure, people didn't like it, but it's too bad. It's our baby to name and our name to share. Just tell them to wait. Simple.

    This exactly.

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  • PenguinMG said:
    We're not sharing our name choices either. But we're also not finding out the sex, so that alleviates some of the pressure to have a name ready to go.
    Oh little grasshopper.  To be so innocent again :-)

    We didn't find out the sex and we didn't share names.  And people were upset.  Like people who had no right to be upset (like a friend of my mom who threatened to call our doctor and ask).

    We told them the same things we talk about on the board, that people like to share their opinions on names matter before a child is born and we didn't want to hear that they hate the name, or knew a drug deal with the name, or wanted us to name after great Aunt Hezikiah.  By waiting until the baby was born, no one would feel the need to try and get us to change our mind.  Like I said, some people respected that, and others were upset.  You can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time.
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  • I find it very "aw-ish" to play the surprise game because how can a baby name be a surprise? To avoid created drama I think it's easier to just say you haven't decided yet.

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  • Steph1673Steph1673 member
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    edited November 2014
    PenguinMG said:
    We're not sharing our name choices either. But we're also not finding out the sex, so that alleviates some of the pressure to have a name ready to go.
    Oh little grasshopper.  To be so innocent again :-)
    Actually we were team green and didn't not tell our name choices and we got no backlash. I mean some people would say, I could never do that, but when we don't know the sex I found people pressed less for a name. We did do what PPs suggested and just say we have it narrowed down and not decided (which was mostly true), and sometimes we shared names we liked but weren't the top of our list. We had a positive experience being Team Green and not telling names and plan to do it that way this time around as well.
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  • Our go-to line was:

    "We're pretty sure we have the names, but we're still keeping our options open until they arrive."  

    Rinse and repeat.

    I say be truthful right up front! This will help set the stage for you guys as a couple down the road. If you are confident in your words, people will be more accepting of them. I would (and have) say, " yes, we have chosen a name, but we will not be sharing it until the baby is here. We absolutely love the name and can't wait to introduce to the baby once she is here." OR, ( if it is true) , "we haven't decided on a name yet. You may give us some suggestion, but we won't share the name until he is born." And PLEASE don't apologize.........no saying I'm sorry, we aren't telling. Be confident in your decision.... And your decision will be better respected.
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