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February 2014 Moms
Meghan14
member
SAHM check-in 11/11
Meghan14
member
Hey there ladies! I hope everyone is having an excellent week.
What were your successes this week?
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
What helped save your sanity?
Topic for the week: Do you feel pressure to be "all mom all the time."? How do you maintain parts of your own identity?
GTKY: Thanksgiving plans?
Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.
F'14 October Siggy Challenge: Animals in Costumes
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SAHM check-in 11/11
What were your successes this week?
I had some moms over last night to plan some activities for the LOs. I've somehow ended up as a "leader/organizer" in the group. I think I have become more confident meeting new people since LO arrived, this is not a role I would have ever seen myself doing before.
Hosted a baby shower on Saturday. It went well.
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
Trying not to smack any ILs while we prepare for BILs wedding.
What helped save your sanity?
DH and I had a good talk about him learning to anticipate what needs to be done for LO instead of waiting for me to ask. (example: If you notice dirty bottles in the sink, wash them.)
Topic for the week: Do you feel pressure to be "all mom all the time."? How do you maintain other parts of your identity?
I saw an article in the NYT this weekend that discussed the changing view of motherhood and was wondering how others felt.
"Motherhood is no longer viewed as simply a relationship with your children, a role you play at home and at school, or even a hallowed institution. Motherhood has been elevated — or perhaps demoted — to the realm of lifestyle, an all-encompassing identity with demands and expectations that eclipse everything else in a woman’s life."
"at this particular moment in our history, some combination of overzealous parenting, savvy marketing and glorification of hearth and home have coaxed the public into viewing female parents as a strange breed apart from regular people. You might feel like the same person deep inside, but what the world apparently sees is a woman lugging around a giant umbilical cord."
So far I have luckily not felt this. The moms I've met here and IRL have been awesome, supportive people with many other things going on in their lives. I fear this may change in the future as LO enters school age?
GTKY: Thanksgiving plans?
ILs.
Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.
What were your successes this week?
We had a super productive but insanely busy Saturday. Got DH sent off for a 3 day business trip on Sunday and he comes back tonight. I've only had to drink 2 coke zeros since last night.
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
Having DH gone, with our first road trip with the baby on Friday. And knowing he won't be home much tomorrow or Thursday to help with packing. Just a lot going on. We're not going anywhere we can't buy what we forget, but I'm moreso just anxious to see how LO will do in the car.
What helped save your sanity?
Hosted a girls night with some friends from college that still live in the area. They stayed until almost midnight but it was so good to catch up. Found out one of them had the same nightmarish baby I did with colic and reflux/spitup etc. I had never felt more validated!
Topic for the week: Do you feel pressure to be "all mom all the time."? How do you maintain parts of your own identity?
I've learned that I have to take time for myself. Whether that's getting to the gym, dropping LO off with MIL or just doing what I want during naps, I've learned to make sure I'm doing something for myself each day. Extra minute in the shower, etc. With only one this is probably easier than others have it. But I don't feel pressured into never breaking out of the mom role. I think it's important for moms to get a break from being moms all the time!
GTKY: Thanksgiving plans?
Night before Thanksgiving we host "pie night" for my family. That way we can all indulge without being stuffed from turkey. IL's want to go up to the mountains for the holiday. But this is 2 weeks after our first trip with LO and I'm not too fond of trying to throw him for another loop so soon and not knowing how he'll do anyways. So we'll see. We will either host Thanksgiving at our place for DH's family and then go out and spend the evening with mine, or just have dinner with my family. My in laws are okay but the less chaos the better to help LO keep routine. We still do 3 naps a day so when we get off, it's rough!
Thanks for doing this, @Meghan14! I think you're going to be a great mom's group organizer/leader, and I'm looking forward to hearing what you do with the group!
@rexgirl06 I'm very interested in pie night. Very very interested. Where do you live? Can I crash your party? I'll even bring pie.
What were your successes this week? Doing better with taking time for myself and not getting super stressed out. I've been keeping up with the laundry and have completed a couple of craft projects.
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week? Consistency in routine. Naps are either great or awful, and there's no telling what I'm going to get on any given day. It makes it hard to plan to get anything done. Also, LO has not been sleeping well at night. Something needs to give there.
What helped save your sanity? I took today entirely for myself. I helped DH get LO ready, then went back to bed, watched TV, read, did a project, and went to the mall. It was great to just have a day.
Topic for the week: Do you feel pressure to be "all mom all the time."? How do you maintain parts of your own identity? Yes. It's been so hard for me to maintain my identity and to continue doing the things that make me me. Everything now revolves around LO and being a mom. I have to make a conscious choice to do things that don't have anything to do with LO. It's just hard when there is a limited and often unpredictable window of time in which to do me things. I also feel like now all people IRL want to talk to me about is LO and being LO's mom. I crave conversation not about LO.
GTKY: Thanksgiving plans? I don't know yet. It's difficult. DHs family will all gather at his cousin's house, but I/we don't especially want to go. Dinner won't be until 6, and that's a tricky time for LO. There's also nowhere for LO to nap, play safely, or eat. I can take a pnp, but high chair? No. Also, I really like to cook on Thanksgiving, so I'm not keen on going somewhere where I can't do that. We might host, but I'm not sure my parents will be okay with coming here. They like to host. They don't have anyone else to spend the holiday with. If we host, MIL will come here instead of the cousin's house. MIL is difficult to take for long periods of time and is generally ungrateful. I would prefer to go my mom's, but we'll be there for Christmas so that's probably not an option. In the past when I've hosted holidays, DH's family comes by for dessert. That's also not happening this year, and I'll probably use LO as an excuse. In reality, it's because his aunt and uncle have been so rude and caused so many problems that they're not welcome in our home right now. I bet you're glad you asked, right? /diary
Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.
What were your successes this week?
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
Getting along with my bf. We have some huge communication issues. One thing I've noticed in the past week is that he'll be thinking of something, but only say 15% of it outloud, and then get frustrated with me for not reading his mind. Then I get upset with him for being short with me, or whatever, and sometimes it gets ugly.
What helped save your sanity?
I totally lost it yesterday, for a number of reasons. Sleep helped the most. Just a nap meant the world to me, and make me see things more clearly.
Topic for the week: Do you feel pressure to be "all mom all the time."? How do you maintain parts of your own identity?
I don't think I feel pressured to be all mom all the time. But as I was thinking about this question I realized a lot of what I do is mom related, even my "me time" things. If I'm crocheting or doing a craft, it's baby related. I often get together with a friend, so the kids can play. If I'm looking at all the things in Target, they're baby things. And I deeply enjoy my bump time, but it's mommy related too.
I was listening to "Classic Oprah" on XM radio today, and it was a show from 1997, but brought up this exact same issue. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it is still a relevant topic.
I've been feeling really burnt out lately. I think I'm going to take a closer look at doing something that is just me, and not a mom thing. Is there such a thing?
GTKY: Thanksgiving plans?
See my siggy for answer. But I will eat some Stove Top stuffing in honour of American Thanksgiving