Baby Names
AllieDionne
member
Keeping it Quiet
AllieDionne
member
My fiancée and I are expecting our first little one in June and we are trying to decide how to handle the naming situation. We both have decided that we would like to keep the baby name we decide on a secret until the baby is born and is named. However we are getting a lot of trouble about it from both of our mothers.... Is there anyone else doing it this way and if so how did you handle people when you informed them it was going to be a suprise?
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Re: Keeping it Quiet
We kept DD's name a secret, partially because we weren't sure what we were going to name her until she was born. (we took 3 names to the hospital).
What we did do was tell people names we had liked, but ultimately rejected for one reason or another. The names we told friends/ family members were similar in style to the name we had ultimately chosen, so there were no real suprises or hurt feelings from family memebers (specifically my parents).
You can also deflect attention from yourself by turning it around and asking your mom for suggestions for names.
GL!
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
BFP #2 - 3/2/13 * DS1 - BORN ON EDD - 11/13/13
BFP #3 - 11/7/14 * DS2 - BORN ON EDD - 07/21/15
My parents had a name chosen for my baby brother for over two years. He is adopted so for the two years that we were waiting for a baby he was baby Mason...we finally brought him home only to realize he was NOT a Mason. So they changed his name. My parents also did this with another one of my brothers, a week after he was born they changed his name!
Telling people you are still deciding runs the risk of people (your mothers?) constantly giving you name suggestions. If that doesn't bother you, "we're still deciding" might be a good approach.
DH's family didn't really ask. My mom asked a lot, and when I told her we weren't going to tell until the baby was born, she asked for hints. Like, "What kind of name is it?" What does that even mean?
Naming a baby can be difficult, but it's fun, and other people like to join in. But, my mom had her chance to name her kids, and now it's my turn, so she doesn't get a say.
We didn't find out the sex and we didn't share names. And people were upset. Like people who had no right to be upset (like a friend of my mom who threatened to call our doctor and ask).
We told them the same things we talk about on the board, that people like to share their opinions on names matter before a child is born and we didn't want to hear that they hate the name, or knew a drug deal with the name, or wanted us to name after great Aunt Hezikiah. By waiting until the baby was born, no one would feel the need to try and get us to change our mind. Like I said, some people respected that, and others were upset. You can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time.
I say be truthful right up front! This will help set the stage for you guys as a couple down the road. If you are confident in your words, people will be more accepting of them. I would (and have) say, " yes, we have chosen a name, but we will not be sharing it until the baby is here. We absolutely love the name and can't wait to introduce to the baby once she is here." OR, ( if it is true) , "we haven't decided on a name yet. You may give us some suggestion, but we won't share the name until he is born." And PLEASE don't apologize.........no saying I'm sorry, we aren't telling. Be confident in your decision.... And your decision will be better respected.