First RE appointment...sorry so long

eener817 · November 2014

So, DH and I had our consultation this afternoon with our RE. Initial impression was good - I liked him a lot.
I already had my CD3 blood work and ultrasound on Saturday so he had those results.
FSH - 7.4
LH - 7.7
Estrodiol - 85
He said my ultrasound looked good as far as quantity goes. However, he said I have PCOS "like" ovaries. What does that mean?! But he did specifically say I don't have PCOS. He said I have so many eggs that he wouldn't recommend any other medications after chlomid because of the risk of lots of babies at once. He would go straight to IVF if the chlomid/IUI cycles didn't work.
Basically, he said my hormones are off in relation to each other. The way he described it is that I am making a lot of eggs but they are more "male" than "female" whatever that means. When I asked him to specifically what my chances are of getting pregnant on our own, he said less than 1% each cycle. (And that is without knowing DH's SA results or my HSG yet.)

Now for the overwhelming part...You may remember my insurance situation - DH's company is kicking me off Jan.1 and my insurance has no coverage. I am currently looking into other insurance options, but not sure yet what I am going to do in that department. Keeping this in mind, Dr. said he wants me to start on chlomid TONIGHT, have my HSG and ultrasound on Monday, then depending upon that, have DH give a sample that would be used for both the IUI and the SA. He made sure to tell me things don't always work this way, but because of my situation, he is putting a little bit of a rush on things.

To me, this is great news (as long as he is doing things safely)! To DH, not so much. As a matter of fact, he hasn't said a word since we left the office and is putzing in the garage right now. I do feel bad, because we have like zero time to think about it since chlomid needs to be started tonight. He thinks we are moving too fast. In the office he told I could decide but I did specifically asked "Are you ok with this?" and then "Are you sure?". I feel bad for him, but I also want to take what I can get before the first of the year! I think I am going to just let him stew for a while and hopefully get over it. Is that the right thing to do? Or should I tell him we will do the testing and wait for the results before deciding? I am thinking about paying a higher premium and getting on a plan (not through my employer) with fertility coverage, which I didn't even know was an option before embarking on this process, so waiting wouldn't be THE END of the world.
AAHH, what would you do?

P.S. sorry for being new and so needy!

hardlyhannah · November 2014

So this is very much how my DH was. When we had the fertility consult with my OBGYN he came, and when we were NTNP he was fine with it but when faced with the idea of it actually happening - and TRYING to make it happen - he kind of freaked out. I got him to talk to me about it and it came down to being afraid of the lifestyle change, and not sure if he can handle being a dad. We aren't facing any insurance timelines like you guys are - so that's added pressure - but I let him stew on it, and now we've decided to do the additional testing so we know it is going to take a little longer.

I don't really have any advice, just wanted to let you know I can relate. Ultimately DH said that he wanted to give it a month and then start. I do think it's important that you are both 100% on the same page about it though.

SND1231 · November 2014

That's all great news. It is sometimes so hard to get the ball rolling.. I understand where your DH is coming from. Just give him some time. I personally think that you should do all that you are comfortable with before your insurance runs out. FX for you!

Ann612 · November 2014

I feel for your DH actually - I was so overwhelmed after our first RE visit I couldn't even think straight. I'd probably give him an hour to digest and then maybe go in there with a hug and and an understanding comment like, "this is sudden and overwhelming, huh?" and hope that gets the ball rolling on him talking.

and I second never hearing of eggs having a gender

edited because me no write good

mharnicker · November 2014

I know it's a controversial subject but believe it or not we have fertility coverage on the Obamacare. If it weren't for the coverage I wouldn't be able to embark on this fertility process. Look into it ASAP because open enrollment is starting soon!!

eener817 · November 2014

Thanks for the advice ladies! I really wish we had more than a few hours to make this decision! Still haven't really discussed it with DH so I don't know what I'm going to do! Trying to give him a little processing time. :-S
As for the male eggs - not totally sure what he meant my that, but I am assuming he was referring to my hormones being out of whack??? Who knows!
@IPutKetchuponKetchup - I wish DH were wanting a plan and a plan for the plan! Our issue is that he just wants to "see what happens" and I'm the one who wants a plan!

eener817 · November 2014

Well, I didn't take the clomid. We are going to wait. DH really wasn't ready and I couldn't start the meds knowing he wasn't on board. It just didn't feel right. So, we are going to finish our testing this month and then sit down with the doctor after that and discuss our options. Since I think I have my insurance situation figured out (I am going with a govt. plan with IF coverage vs. my employers), I don't feel as panicked and rushed as I once was.
I am sure some of you can relate, but last night when we talked about it, it sounded like DH was in a totally different appointment than I was! What he heard was "there is nothing wrong with you, you have a lot of eggs!" and what I heard was "your hormones are F'ed and you have PCOS "like" ovaries but a lot of eggs"!!! So, after all our testing is done, I definitely want to sit down with the doctor again and discuss our issues/treatment options without the rush of the end of the year hanging over our heads.
Thanks for all of the advice and kind words ladies! You're the best!

hardlyhannah · November 2014

I'm glad that you guys are on the same page and not rushing! Hopefully everything will be more clear after the rest of the testing and you can move foreard easily with the new insurance

eener817 · November 2014

@sammae - haha, it's funny you say that about your DH! Conversation we had on the way out of the office:
DH: Did you lie to them about how long we have been trying?!?! I don't even think we have tried long enough on our own.
Me: Well, it's been 2 years, so that's long enough. They say to see an RE after a year.
DH: But we took a couple months off! Doesn't the time start over?
Me: Um....no.

It makes me feel so much better that his reaction is normal!

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First RE appointment...sorry so long

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