July 2014 Moms

My grandmother passed away today :(

Just needing to talk for a minute.

My last living grandparent passed away today. We knew she wasn't doing well but, you know, it's still a shock in a way. My grandmother & I were never close but I do know she cared about me. She could be very negative & critical. I'm a natural encourager so extreme negativity was difficult to be around at times.

I can only remember three times in thirty four years that I was not at her house on Christmas Day. No matter what time we arrived, she was always in her house coat & never had her hair fixed. Lol. She'd say "You caught me!" :) she was just too focused on cooking to get dressed on time. She would always find something wrong with her chicken & dressing. Usually she said it ha too much sage although no one else could tell.

I took DS & DD to see her in the hospital earlier this month. I knew she wasn't doing good. We tricked her into eating by telling her she could hold Eve if she ate good. I got pictures of her with Eve & DS. I'm SO glad I did.

Even though we didn't agree on much, I am so sad today. No more Christmas Day at her house, no more catching her in her house coat & no more "too much sage".

When I saw her in the hospital she had tears when we were leaving. I asked her why she was crying & she said "because I love you so much." I will forever treasure that moment because even though I know she cared, I honestly can't remember her sincerely telling me she loved me before. Some of it may be a generational thing & she had a hard life. But whatever the reason for her behavior, I'm so grateful that is the last thing I heard her say.

Although many of us here hold very different beliefs, I know you'll understand in this moment I'm finding comfort in knowing she is happy with my PaPa again. It's a comfort to know we're only separated for a time. Heaven just got a whole lot louder & God sure won't have any peace now. Lol.

Here's the pic I took that day in the hospital. My hand, her hand & DS's hand. A true treasure.

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