Does your DH help you MOTN? Supplementing formula?

kristine618 · November 2014

It seems like most of my friends with babies developed some sort of system with their DH so that they took different shifts at night, or took turns with the night feedings. I never did this with my DH for DD1 while BF or LO now, mostly because I hate pumping so much and I never preferred to wake up to pump rather than just feed the baby. Also, even if I was going to have DH give an early morning or late night feed and pump on my own time instead, I hated the idea that I would end up short on BM because I can often not pump the equivalent if what he would take, so we just never did it this way. I do all the feeds and I schedule anything I need to do on the weekends around feeding LO so LO does not need to take a bottle by DH (LO only takes bottles during the week at daycare). I'm starting to think it would not be so terrible to supplement with formula from time to time, so I can have DH help more. I'm tired of being so tired and tired of the scrambling feeling of trying to keep up with LO's feeds. I feel so much disappointment when my pumping output is not great. The only way I can keep up (currently) is by pumping 3X while I'm at work, and then after LO has his final night feed, but then I never get to bed early to get a decent amount of sleep. I'm starting to think maybe I should just be okay with my supply dwindling a little and not put so much pressure on myself to feed him exclusively BM. I would love to not worry about how much I'm pumping, and to have DH help more without worrying if I can make up the BM.

What do you do with MOTN? And if you are supplementing with formula, how are you doing it? I was thinking maybe I could give LO one bottle of formula a day during the week when he's at daycare, so that I can build up a better stash of BM in the freezer to give LO BM for a longer period of time, but I'm not sure if that's the best way. I feel very confused about what to do, but I know I need to make some changes. TIA for your input!

ashaw512 · November 2014

Welcome to motherhood!

I supplement DS at night for his last feeding. That's the only way I'm as to build my stash. He gets 5 ounces at around 8 and he goes to bed around 8:30-9. I have to pump at 10:30. He sleeps through the night so if I sleep through my alarm then I don't get to pump at 2:30-3 and I'm engorged. He wakes up around 6. He's not doing any worse with formula.

If you've never tried formula there's a risk of your LO being allergic Or sensitive to one particular formula so it may take a while to find the right one. You should never feel bad about giving your baby formula, and don't let anyone else make you feel bad. If anyone else says anything, it doesn't matter who, their twatwaffles.

lmk1566 · November 2014

My LO gets a bottle or two a day with one being formula. I try to have it in the MOTN so I get a break. At first I was nervous because of my supply but I relaxed a little and figured this is what works for us. DH was great with anything MOTN but he's gotten a little lazy!

SingleMom31 · November 2014

Just a thought... Formula takes longer for baby to digest than breast milk. If we need to do a formula bottle, we do the one right before bed since she feels full longer/generally will sleep longer. DH affectionately calls it Thanksgiving dinner.

barbiedoesbaby · November 2014

I'm of the opinion that a more rested and less stressed mama is better for everyone. Stress and lack of sleep can negatively impact your supply as well. So by all means do what you need to do to find a balance that works for you and is sustainable. Just for comparison, I BF and we are attempting to have DH do the early morning feed that falls after 5am. LO is still not consistent so I might still be up at 1 and 4 but more often than not it's just once at 2 or 3am. During that feed I nurse from one side and pump from the other. I, too was worried about getting up to pump to maintain supply while DH was giving him a bottle during the 5/6am feed but decided sleep was more important. When I wake up around 8/9 I'm engorged and pump first thing and I try to pump again after I nurse him at the 10/11am feed or whenever I can squeeze it in. I also eat lactation cookies like it's my job - psychological and a good excuse to eat my favorite cookies. On the weekends lately I've been known to sleep through 2 feedings and wake up at noon, pumping just once and it feels glorious. I figure I'll BF as long as I can but I don't want to lose sleep over my supply!

str13 · November 2014

We're just FFing over here. We started out EBFing, but it just didnt work out, no supply at all, weight issues!
I'm totally with @ashaw512 it's nobody's business how you're feeding your baby! Do what it takes to stay happy and healthy for your LO.
Even though my LO is FF, I still do all feedings, even MOTN. DH is basically useless. I love him. But he's useless. He's barely taking care of himself these days!! Lol :-<

squish143 · November 2014

I completely understand where you are coming from because I feel the exact same way. My output with pumping isn't the greatest and I'm not very consistent at it. Lo is fighting his sleep these days, both naps and at night so it's hard to come up with a "pumping schedule". I was feeling terrible about supplementing because my goal was to ebf but pp are right, it's not good to stress about it. My little guy is just hungry all the time and even if I nurse for an hour he is still hungry usually so we will give him some formula. I just try to remind myself that as long as baby is happy and healthy so is mama

JGuevara64 · November 2014

I know how you feel. A lot of the moms I know have the DH helping out in the MOTN. I choose not to wake my DH unless I need to use the bathroom and the LO is up. So I hand him off, use the bathroom and then DH goes back to sleep. The only reason I do that is because DH doesn't sleep well. So normally if I wake him up, he has a hard time going back to sleep and then he is tired during the day. For me its no big deal to wake up, do what I have to do and go back to bed. Plus since LO is up really for 30 - 45 minutes (I change him, feed him, burp him and he goes right back to bed) there is really no reason to wake up DH because I have to wake up regardless to pump..which is the part that takes the longest.

For me I mostly pump. I probably should be more consistent with pumping...but its hard sometimes. I try to pump every 4 hours (but sometimes I just can't). I still have pumped milk stored so the LO can get a bottle from DH. If its been a while since I have pumped and the LO is hungry then I just nurse him....and then pump a little afterwards. I do supplement with formula. The MOTN feeding is when I give him 4 ounces of formula. So he only gets one bottle of formula a day. Plus giving him formula in the middle of the night is A LOT quicker than having to wait for the pumped milk to warm up. After he eats the formula he goes right back to sleep and then I pump. I choose to pump in the MOTN because I heard your supply is greater...which I tend to agree.

Not sure if that same method would work for you...but MOTN pumping output may be a lot more than what you get during the day. It sucks to still have to wake up for the MOTN but for me its helped me build up my stash of milk.

Just do what works for you. It takes a while to get into a rhythm that works for you, DH and LO....and once you find something that does just try to improve upon it little by little.

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