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October 2013 Moms
stephl3055
member
LO then (2 days) and now (1 year)
WW013D (baby shower related)?
stephl3055
member
So there is a debate looming in our household. DH's little sister is pregnant with her first and she is due in January (I'll call her T). T and her husband have had a very rocky relationship with DH and I the past 5 years or so. DH and T went 3-4 years without speaking to each other, despite the fact that we live about 10 miles from each other. T and I don't like each other much, but we've never exchanged words or gotten into a fight in person (there was one time via email). She had some jealously issues during our wedding and our personalities just don't mesh well. DH, me, older SIL (I'll call A), and older SIL's husband (C) think T's husband is a major douche. All 4 of us actually skipped T's wedding, and T skipped A and C's wedding.
T and her husband have never met LO. I don't plan on them meeting either. DH and T occasionally text each other, but it's every 3-4 months and only on special occasions, like birthdays. A few weeks ago T texts DH an invite to her shower (like an evite) and says "Here is an invitation to my baby shower. I hope you can make it." That's all it's said. I assumed I was not invited (which I understood given our history).
Apparently DH is under the impression that we are getting T and her husband something. I told him I didn't think we were getting them anything and he said we could talk about it later (fyi, we didn't get them anything for their wedding). He is not attending the shower, I know that for sure. We have a joint family fund that we pay bills out of, and each of us has a personal fund that we use for fun things we do on our own, like buying clothes, eating out with friends, hobbies, etc. I'm torn on whether telling him to spend his own money or not getting them anything at all. I know the invite was a gift grab and because DH's family tries to hide family arguments from outsiders. No one from T's husband's family has ever met DH or I, and I know DH's family has lied in the past about why we don't attend certain events. If DH does use his own money I would prefer if he said it's only from him, since he was the only one invited to the shower.
So, what does everyone think?
T and her husband have never met LO. I don't plan on them meeting either. DH and T occasionally text each other, but it's every 3-4 months and only on special occasions, like birthdays. A few weeks ago T texts DH an invite to her shower (like an evite) and says "Here is an invitation to my baby shower. I hope you can make it." That's all it's said. I assumed I was not invited (which I understood given our history).
Apparently DH is under the impression that we are getting T and her husband something. I told him I didn't think we were getting them anything and he said we could talk about it later (fyi, we didn't get them anything for their wedding). He is not attending the shower, I know that for sure. We have a joint family fund that we pay bills out of, and each of us has a personal fund that we use for fun things we do on our own, like buying clothes, eating out with friends, hobbies, etc. I'm torn on whether telling him to spend his own money or not getting them anything at all. I know the invite was a gift grab and because DH's family tries to hide family arguments from outsiders. No one from T's husband's family has ever met DH or I, and I know DH's family has lied in the past about why we don't attend certain events. If DH does use his own money I would prefer if he said it's only from him, since he was the only one invited to the shower.
So, what does everyone think?
LO then (2 days) and now (1 year)
WW013D (baby shower related)? 44 votes
Buy a gift from the joint family fund (and say it is from all of us)
50%
22 votes
Make DH pay for it out of his fund (and say the gift is just from him)
15%
7 votes
Don't get anything at all
25%
11 votes
Send them baby poop in a box
9%
4 votes
SS
0%
0 votes
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WW013D (baby shower related)?
(but i voted baby poop)
LO then (2 days) and now (1 year)