Are you a food pusher?

Rosebean · November 2014

Okay ladies, so here is something that I have been chewing on (pun intended) when it comes to food with your kiddos. We did BLW with DS and we always offer him a well rounded meal and let him eat what he chooses from it. He will always take a bite or two of his veggies, but loves his pasta and protein and fruits and oatmeal. I had a friend over the other day and she kept telling her toddler to eat "one more bite", even though the LG kept saying "done". I guess maybe because we did BLW, we don't do that in our house. I over exaggerate eating veggies and enjoying them so he eats more, but that's about it. And I am not too keen on the idea of a) fighting him to eat and making it an unpleasant experience and b) forcing him to eat more than he wants to if he's full. So my question to you is, do you push for that one more bite, and do you plan on doing it as they get older?

jenniferraborn · November 2014

I have a 6 yr old, a 2.5 year old and DD my Feb baby, I always make my kids plates and once they eat everything on their plate they can have more of whatever they would like. I don't cook separate things or offer seconds of their favorites before they eat their veggies or whatever. I do not however make them eat everything we have (just for seconds) and I make sure there is always something included that they like.

That said , my kids have always been good eaters otherwise we would have to rethink. So far, it has worked out for us. I do bend those rules for DD sometimes since she does not really get the rules. My boys understand that if you want more macaroni and cheese, you need to eat your peas.

That makes me sound mean but they do really well with it :-)

kleigh926 · November 2014

Nope, I don't push food. There are some foods that I know DD doesn't like and probably won't even try (potatoes, peppers, onions). I still put some on her plate, hoping that she'll try them and eat them. When she doesn't eat them or tries to give them back to me, I ask her to try them, but if she doesn't, I don't make her eat them.

If she hasn't eaten much and tells me she's done, I'll ask if she's sure and ask if she can eat a little more. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't. I'll also usually offer something else I know she likes if she hasn't eaten much, just in case she really is hungry but doesn't feel like eating the first thing I gave her. I never liked the idea of "cleaning a plate" or trying to make a child eat more if they're not hungry. As she gets older, I probably will make her eat her veggies/fruits before she has more of whatever else I'm serving, as long as she doesn't totally hate the veggie we're having.

djm31012 · November 2014

I am in a weird position now bc my normally perfect eater-literally he was-the last 1-2 mos has gotten picky. Wont eat fruit, wont eat eggs, etc and its been extremely upsetting and frustrating for me. So I find myself more now "pushing food" or only offering what I want him to eat and if he doesnt have that then he doesnt eat that meal. That kind of thing. I dont think there is anything wrong with tellnig a child "one more bite of peas and you can get up" although my 21 month old does not understand that so it doesnt work.

kelly321 · November 2014

We only push food in that sense if they want something else (dessert-like) or if they want to get down after only eating like 3 bites. But even then we don't say they can't get down, we just ask them several times if they're sure they're finished because there will be nothing more to eat before breakfast (if it's dinnertime). If it's lunch and they only eat a few bites, then before they have a snack in the afternoon, they have to eat a few more bites of lunch first. I'm not cool with them skipping the casserole and then expecting to get a snack as soon as they get up from nap.

However, with DD2 our rules in that regard are still pretty lax.

ericalee27 · November 2014

byebyebooze said:

I'll encourage a few more bites if DD doesn't eat anywhere close to a normal sized meal. That usually happens when we are out with friends or at a friend's house - she is too excited/distracted to really eat. I don't think there's anything weird about what your friend did. She wanted her kid to eat a normal dinner and not be hungry the second they got in the car to go home, which is exactly what I would do.

This. DS1 is awful right now about not wanting to eat dinner and then 30 minutes later claiming he's starving. I definitely try to get a few more bites into him and a sip of milk, etc, before I let him down. We are not clean plate pushers by any means...

Rosebean · November 2014

byebyebooze said:

I'll encourage a few more bites if DD doesn't eat anywhere close to a normal sized meal. That usually happens when we are out with friends or at a friend's house - she is too excited/distracted to really eat. I don't think there's anything weird about what your friend did. She wanted her kid to eat a normal dinner and not be hungry the second they got in the car to go home, which is exactly what I would do.

No, it certainly wasn't weird... Although what kind of got my goat about it was that she explicitly told me that this child will vomit and gag if she's being forced to eat more than she wants, or if it's something she doesn't like. So when she kept encouraging one more bite, it kind of made me wonder why she does it when she knows the possible reaction to come. It's almost based on principle...

lbonga1 · November 2014

seadragon2013 said:
Just a thought - your friend's LO may not be 100% consistent in communicating when she is finished. DS has a bad habit of saying "All done" and then continuing to happily eat his food for another 10 minutes. I still have to rely on his actions (pushing his plate away, wanting to throw food) instead of his words, to figure out when he is actually finished with his meal.

DD does this, but more often than not, she's saying she's done because she wants something else more snack-like. I always have to ask her if she's sure that she's done because she's not going to be getting anything else until later. Sometimes when I get her down from the high chair she still signs for more, and starts whining when I say no snacks. Really frustrating, but overall she's not terribly picky and still eats a variety of foods throughout the week.

cinnasugar · November 2014

I do with DD (4), but she usually wants a treat or snack after dinner, so we make her clean her plate if she wants a treat. DS is too young for this, in my opinion - I think I heard a doctor say that closer to three is when they start to understand the concept of eat this, not that.

tamarar5 · November 2014

I push food. I really do. But it's on my 7 year old. She is the most exasperating child ever!!! She will sit at the table with her food forever, but not actually eat. We tried taking away desserts, and she didn't change. We started giving her time limits, but now any time she has something she doesn't want to eat, she'll just sit there and run out the clock. Last night we had chicken parm knock off. She's not overtly fond of tomato sauce so I didn't give her any. She doesn't want foods touching so, I cut her chicken and put out on the side.

No joke, she sat at the table starting at a 1/2 c. of chicken and plain noodles (the way she likes) for forty five flipping minutes. Finally told her to put it away. I made her way it for breakfast. She tried to refuse, but I would let her have anything else, so she finished 5 chunks of chicken this morning at 11.

And I do the one more bite on E all the time- usually 6 or 7 times before I get him out of the high chair.

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