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I need to rant.....

Gabriel1217Gabriel1217 member
in Single Parents
So this summer a guy who worked for my neighbor tried really hard to get me to like him. Said he was great with kids ( I have a seven year old), kept trying even when I had little to no interest. Eventually I gave in,he was entertaining, and I figured it could be fun and wasn't really interested in serious. Of course the first time we actually sleep together, I end up pregnant. Cue the incessant texts pressuring me into an abortion,how keeping a baby is extortion, and just other ludicrous things. He demanded a paternity test, he even gave his Mom my number who also sent me nasty texts and demanded a paternity test. I hear he's accused me of sleeping with pretty much anyone and everyone- to try to say its not his (I only wish).

I find out he also had a gf the whole time. Which explains the reaction. So I've been trying to rise above. I text him with pertinent health things(less then 1x a month)- like I found out it is a little girl, make sure he is aware that if he wants to get involved that's fine. I found a local non invasive paternity prenatal lab. I offer to pay for the paternity test, he just needs to go to a lab about 20 min away for a blood draw. Mainly trying to get him to shut up about the rumors about my sex life. Well guess what- neither him or his mom would answer or agree to the test they both DEMANDED. Actually his mom now claims that texting them about scheduling or anything about the pregnancy is harassment and i need to watch myself- it isn't. I know this. UGH I want to scream....they both have demanded paternity tests and as soon as offer one up and even agree to pay... radio silence, or "you're harassing me". I know its mostly because they know they aren't going to get the answer they want. I also know after the birth I can get a court order for the paternity test and still get childsupport. I was just hoping everyone could act like adults.
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Re: I need to rant.....

  • ST3WDST3WD member
    *HUGS*

    This is so similar to what I'm going through. He knows if he wants to be involved, he can be. He's basically telling you and your child to f*ck off, and even got his mommy to help. 

    I'd say limit your contact with him. (Don't even bother acknowledging his mother's attempts for your attention. It's not her business. She IS harassing you.) If you feel the need to, update only pertaining to the pregnancy. 

    Hopefully the testing can be taken care of quickly and quietly. He does have the option to sign away his parental rights if he doesn't want the responsibility, which sounds like it might be the better course of action with this douche. 

    Keep us updated on how things are progressing. Congratulations on your little girl! I'm sure she'll be an amazing addition to your family.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP: 01/10/2010, EDD: 10/10/2010, Loss: 03/16/2010

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    BFP: 07/14/2014, EDD: 03/04/2015
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  • jellybean529jellybean529 member
    I say cut off all contact. Don't even text updates about the pregnancy. If they're giving you radio silence about the paternity test, then let them deal with it when they're served by the court -- which will be a lot more humiliating to him in front of his g/f than trying to do it privately. Good luck.
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Cut out all contact. They dont need to be involved and it isnt their buisness youve done your part. Enjoy your pregnancy
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  • Gabriel1217Gabriel1217 member
    @becwheat your suggestion is pretty much what I did. I don't lower myself to how either of them speak to me, because at the end of the day they are the childs family, and if they do have a change of heart, he at least has a right to be part of the childs life.
        I offered up the prenatal testing now because if that is the proof they need to get "on board" I'd rather get it out of the way because in the long run it makes my life easier. I also said if they are not interested in the test they demanded, just say it, and I will happily wait until our daughter is born and he will be compelled to comply with a court order.
      This woman is unhinged. She accosted me via text message initially, then tried to claim I was harassing her. When I got the whole prenatal paternity test figured out two weeks later I texted him with no response... I then texted her to let her know I am doing what she said needed to be done ASAP and neither her son or herself are complying. Do they not really want the proof ?
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  • ST3WDST3WD member
    Probably not. A lot of guys demand a paternity test thinking that the woman won't get it because she doesn't want to be embarrassed when she doesn't know who the father is. (If that makes sense.) When they have to put their money where their mouth is, they freak because they treated sex like a fun pastime rather than an action that has potential consequences. If it comes back positive to him, he can no longer deny it saying you're just some crazy who wants money. His mom probably jumped on the bandwagon because her baby boy is perfect and the mean lady is trying to steal from her son. Heaven forbid they actually admit to being human. 

    These two sound like a piece of work. Hopefully you don't have to deal with them much longer. 

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP: 01/10/2010, EDD: 10/10/2010, Loss: 03/16/2010

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    BFP: 07/14/2014, EDD: 03/04/2015
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