Wanting a natural birth, but money issues

JNCPro3130 · November 2014

Hey everyone!

I'm definitely wanting to have a NB and have posted questions here before. You guys always give great advice! My DH and I have run into a little snag with my NB decision. My DH recently lost his job. He is working again (thank goodness), but it is not as much money as he was making, so money is very tight. Because of this, we will not be able to pay for a doula or a class on NB. I know a lot of you went natural without the help of classes. I have looked at my local library and the Bradley Method is not a book I can get and I know hypno birthing is CDs, so those are not available at the library either. I have read through a lot of the books you ladies have recommended and will read them again as I get closer to delivery.

Here's my question. Is there anything else that might be helpful going into a NB knowing that it will just be DH and I at the hospital? I think a lot of you have said it is about being mentally prepared. How did you mentally prepare?

Thank you so much!

mc0113 · November 2014

Our Bradley Method instructor allows for a discount or even payment plan if you can't afford the cost up front. If that's something you truly want to do, it might be worth asking about.

CandaceC1020 · November 2014

Read as many books as you can about NB.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is Great
Birth from Within - I'm reading this now ... a little out there but it's supposed to have some great coping mechanisms
Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds by Cynthia Gabriel
Childbirth from Within is supposed to be good - I haven't read it.

I'd also contact your hospital and see if they have any recommendations. We did a one day childbirth class at our hospital that was $55. One of the sections of the course was partner coaching/coping mechanisms. We found that section to be the most helpful section of the whole class for us.

CandaceC1020 · November 2014

Oh - and look into student doulas .....

I found one that I'm using. She is charging me $350 for her services. The great thing is that she's taken all of her classes, attended all of her births, has worked with my midwives before - she's just waiting on the dumb paperwork from DONA to say she's a certified doula.

sschwege · November 2014

Everyone has had great suggestions so far. There is a lot of information out there online, if you do a google such as, 'natural forms of pain relief during labor' a lot should come up. I made a binder for my husband with different ideas he could suggest to make me more comfortable, it had things like, warm bath/shower, warm rice sock, tennis balls on back, exercise ball, different positions, snack ideas, encouraging words/phrases etc.

This wouldn't be for everyone, but if you feel comfortable doing it, you could ask another person who is also natural birth minded to be a second support person for you. My MIL was there the first time and my mother the second, it was wonderful!

maggie515 · November 2014

Doulas also work for trade. So if you have something fab to offer they might be willing to work at a reduced rate and a trade. Also, maybe check local birth groups of FB and see if anyone has any hypnobabies cds from the home study they are willing to sell for cheap! but also read read read about NB! Good Luck!

Stephij1 · November 2014

I'm in the same boat as you. I found that youtube has a surprising amount of good information. Search "comfort measures during labor", and "natural birth pain management". There are some pretty good, encouraging videos.

JNCPro3130 · November 2014

Thank you for all the advice! I hadn't thought of a lot of these things! I'm going to continue to research and look into some of these things. Thanks a bunch!

SkateyC · November 2014

I second the suggestions from PP's. Birthing from Within is a great book to read, as well as Ina May's Guide. Look into volunteer doula programs or doulas in training who may offer free or reduced services in your area. A lot of doulas start for free or with a small fee as they're gaining experience.
Or maybe invite a friend who has had positive natural births before?
And as you're researching, start jotting down ideas that sound like they'd be helpful, so your SO can feel prepared with a good list of different things to offer you.

Hope this helps, you'll do great!

MitoRachel · November 2014

Maybe your library doesn't offer this, but do you know if they do inter-library loan? That's how I get most of my books.

sschwege · November 2014

MitoRachel said:

Maybe your library doesn't offer this, but do you know if they do inter-library loan? That's how I get most of my books.

I was thinking this too.

MommyAtty · November 2014

I've had 2 natural births. I've never taken a class other than one day seminars. The first was about $75 and was through our hospital. The second was about $100 and was through a doula group. I didn't read a lot about it either. Really, the YouTube recommendation is good. The best advice I got was from a YouTube video that discussed C breathing. Mentally, I just knew I didn't want an epidural but I was open to going with whatever I needed to do. I think frankly not foreclosing the option of intervention made it easier for me to stick with natural birth. If I had felt backed into a corner, I think I would have panicked and ended up needing an intervention. The most important thing is to be relaxed and stay calm. Trust in your body's ability to do this miraculous thing but be comforted knowing that if something goes wrong, you have help and options.

Havana2014 · November 2014

This is the American Facebook page for the Gentlebirth programme. There is a private group too you can request to join which has loads of like minded women discussing all aspects of birthing. I couldn't afford to do the classes but the FB page was a fantastic resource.

https://m.facebook.com/gentlebirth?_rdr

jennypolkadots · November 2014

I would contact local Bradley instructors and doulas to see if they would reduce the fee in your case. Most are more than happy to, believing that every woman should have the resources for natural birth without money being the deciding factor. Another option is childbirth educators and doulas in training that work for free. We are going to have a Bradley instructor at our birth and giving us private classes all for free because she needs to attend a few births to finish up her certification.

Get a copy of "Natural Birth the Bradley Way" and read it WITH your husband. I think it's less than $15 on Amazon. Practice all of the exercises and work on a schedule that the two of you practice together. This will help more than anything. Doulas are awesome but your husband can be your doula by just doing some homework and staying connected with you throughout the birth. He needs to learn about massage techniques, applying counter pressure, and ways to help you relax. Read Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth together as well and highlight sections that uplift you. You may like reading these sections again in early labor. You can also start meditating daily - just 15 minutes of focusing your mind. Your mind will get stronger and this will help you so much to get through anything. You can work up to 30+ minutes but 15 minutes is a good start. Read online about transcendental meditation and mindful meditation. Also passive muscle relaxation - which is mostly what Bradley method focuses on but you can learn even better techniques if you read more about it online. You and your husband can and should both do these things since you'll need him during the birth.

This is totally doable!

I think doing it just the two of you can be a super awesome bonding experience and something you are so proud of after the fact.

MsMacual · November 2014

I have had two natural births and did not take a class or have a doula for either. I read the Bradley book before I had my first and read Ina May's childbirth book before my second. IMO it is totally doable without formal preparation. I used a hospital based MW with both and they were very helpful and supportive of my birth plan.

yvanehtnioj · November 2014

I also could not afford a doula or to pay out of pocket for a homebirth ($4000 vs. a $400 copay!). I also had gestational diabetes & ended up with an induction anyway. I had read a couple of the natural birth books, but when I found out about the induction I gave up all hope for an unmedicated birth because pitocin.

The day of I was able to avoid pitocin and took a "play it by ear but avoid pain meds as long as possible" approach. I still wasn't convinced I would/could do a natural birth and was really just aiming to not start pain meds until absolutely necessary. I hit my wall during transition but didn't know it was transition because only ~4 hours before I had still been at 0 cm! So I requested the epidural and by the time the anesthesiologist got there I was having pushing contractions. Pushing the baby out was amazing.

Ultimately I took it as it came. I kept thinking "Just a little longer, you can handle this for now." And it turns out my experience was not unique-- everybody says that you hit the wall when you're almost done!

ridesbuttons · November 2014

I didn't hire a doula, take a class or buy a book. I was fine. I talked to women in real life who had had natural deliveries- my mom, my SsIL, my own GP. All reassured me that it was doable. My basic method of coping was to count my breaths during the contractions. I told myself I would never count past 20. What this did was force me to breathe more slowly and more deeply as the contractions got longer and stronger. I thought only about my breathing and the number which serves to put the pain behind me rather than up front.

It's doable. Talk to people, read and accept that it will be painful, but that's ok. All part of the process.

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