Shower for (ahem) third baby?

CageyMack · November 2014

Hi!

Some of you know that this is our third baby, but my DW's first baby-in-belly.

A church friend recently told me that he is planning a baby shower for DW; did I think she would be willing to be the guest of honor?

I said she would be very honored, but now I'm having doubts. I know the baby shower board would probably flip their noggins at the idea of a baby shower for a third baby, but I think the Emily Post thing to do is be a gracious recipient of someone's generosity. So if they want to throw a shower, let them.

That said, we don't need much, so I'm really hoping it will be all friendly and casual and be a potluck with just, say, books for baby, or just well wishes and hugs. Should we do a registry in case people ask? I mean, we would be totally appreciative for a few things, but we don't need anything and we are totally ready to pay for what we need. I also recognize that people want to give and support new families, so refusing can be a slap in the face.

I also really love that DW is getting a little "hooray!" for her baby. To be honest, I was a little worried that no one would remember that it is a new experience for her. I know her work will throw a little event, because there are a bunch of older ladies who LOVE her and LOVE babies and who are paramount office party throwers.

What would you do?

TIA!

ATXmommas · November 2014

I agree! If people are offering to celebrate this baby in a special way, let 'em! Like @CrazyAunt84‌ said, register for things like wipes, saline drops, baby tylenol - things you run out of and always need more of. And girly things if you're into that.

valeriegp · November 2014

I think a diaper shower would be a great idea. Then people can't grumble about buying things for a third baby, and you know that people who want to buy clothes and toys and stuff still will.

Twochickshavinachick · November 2014

If it's her first, then why not? It's an experience that every first time mother should have - it's not so much about what she can get but for that feeling of people who care surrounding her with love and support. For that matter, we have parties all the time when people get promoted, pass exams and other little moments in life that need celebrating, so why only celebrate a new life the first time? I fully support second/third/etc baby showers (with gift-optional status) if the emphasis is placed on the right reasons for the get together. If you want to play it safe, maybe have the host explain to people that that day is all about your other half and that if they wish to make a gift, they can do so privately on another day.

Karlamo · November 2014

Since they offered I would definately let them do it. I'm not sure if I would register for it, but that's just me. I would be more inclined for people to buy gifts if they so chose, instead of someone telling everyone where I was registered at.

Jazibel · November 2014

Just wanted to chime in and say I totally support the idea of a shower, for all the reasons mentioned above.

Also I think that if the child is the "opposite sex" of the previous "young" children then it is even considered appropriate to have a shower in etiquette books. Folks will likely assume you have the big stuff "crib, changing table, etc." which as you mentioned you do. But if you're interested in any "gendered" items people would likely happily purchase cute baby cloths for a baby girl, along with diapers, books, etc. Just a thought.

CageyMack · November 2014

Thank you, all, for your support and thoughts!

I feel better about it all, and we will register, but not say anything about it. I'm not even going to bring up gifts with the host; I'm just going to let them do what they will.

I get the feeling the host is doing this because it IS my DW's first pregnancy, since they didn't throw me a shower. If someone asks what we need or want, I'm going to say we would love children's books. If they insist, or are totally unfamiliar people (like DW's mom's friends), we will have the registry in place. I know DW's mom's friends like to buy us stuff, and the registry is a way to help steer people in good direction, if they really don't know us at all. I just registered for a bunch of "staples," like diapers, wipes, some new muslin sleep sacks in slightly girly prints, baby thermometer, and some pacifiers.

Thanks again!

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