Desperate for sleep advice!

NLJ82 · November 2014

My preemie was born 6 weeks early and it 6 weeks old (or corrected age, 2 days)

I am completely drained and exhausted. He will start getting fussy in the evenings and typically will scream and cry from 12am-8am. The only thing that will soothe him is his pacifier, however, after he falls back to sleep it falls out of his mouth and he resumes screaming, which means, I stay up ALL night and morning putting it back in his mouth over and over and over and over again.

I've tried letting him cry it out, doesn't work. I've tried holding and rocking him and it works, but the very second I lay him down...screaming. We give him gas drops and get good burps out of him after he's eaten so I wouldn't think it's gas?...but who knows. I change him when he's dirty or wet. Today I decided I'd try to go the day without giving him his paci, rather see if he could be soothed by his glow worm. This seemed to work, however the second it stopped playing music (It plays for about 8 minutes) he's back to screaming and crying. He doesn't show any signs of being sick and his temperature has been normal also.
He IS a very gassy baby (passing gas and burping constantly) but I'm not sure what else we could do to help with that. When leaving the NICU he was on a 3 hour schedule so I've tried to keep that, however with all of this crying I've been feeding him sooner and more ml per bottle. He seems to suck it right down....almost to the point that I'm afraid I'm overfeeding him. (only done this a couple of times)

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?!

Ahlome08 · November 2014

I second everything @Nicb13‌ said. It could be an underlying problem, but, it sounds to me like your baby is more likely colicky. I have a friend that has a colicky baby, and she is VERY high maintenance: fussy nearly all the time, constantly needs to be held, and constantly needs to be soothed. Def call and check with your pedi, though, to rule anything else out.

jaime52005 · November 2014

My DS is colic I feel like I could have wrote this.. My pedo told me not to feed him so much so often he is not having enough time digesting the gas pains make him think he's hungry he is just very uncomfortable

Vavavictoria · November 2014

Are you laying him flat when you put him to bed? Maybe with the gas/reflux he isn't comfortable flat? Have you tried a swaddle? and if that isn't working a swaddleme or something he can't bust out of?

tnr1022 · November 2014

Definitely call the pedi. We give our little guy a couple drops of the Gerber soothe probiotic every day and it seems to help out a bit. We found them at Walgreens. DS also loves to be swaddled and lay in his rnp, which also has a vibrate feature we use sparringly when he fusses ( we are trying not to make it a habit).

Bonnesetter27 · November 2014

This was my ds when he was born. Part of the problem was reflux and the formula was making it worse. Call your pedi, this isn't normal. Some reflux babies try to overeat because the constant swallowing soothes their throat. That's also why they love the pacifier.

Beevol · November 2014

I agree with previous posters re: seeing the pediatrician and checking out reflux/changing formula or changing your diet if your BF/etc.

Another thing to keep in mind once you've figured out any underlying causes is maintaining good "sleep hygiene." It's something they usually talk about with adult insomniacs (like avoid caffeine, don't read/watch TV in bed, and stuff that doesn't apply to an infant) but it's important for everyone. Especially the idea that anything that is going on when you fall asleep should stay the same throughout your sleep cycle. So, no night lights or music that go for a while then turn off - instead try a plug in night light for the whole night and maybe a white noise machine. When you can (and with him being a preemie, this might not be for a bit) don't let him fall asleep in your arms and instead make sure he is awake when you lay him down in his crib.

I know some babies with reflux need to be in a reclining/semi-seated position to sleep, but that's something you only want to do with instructions from a pediatrician (no pillows or props in the crib with the baby!). A friend of mine got a swing for her baby to sleep in at the pediatrician's behest and it was magical for her/her kid.

jenn43 · November 2014

My LO was mildly colicky (fussed and needed to be held for hours every evening, but no out-and-out screaming), and I think I stressed way too much over feeling like I was giving him bad habits. I put a lot of pressure on myself to try to get him to sleep in his crib, and things would have been much easier if I had just cut myself some slack. If he needs to be held, then trade off with DH if possible, so you can each get some reasonable chunks of quality sleep. And it may be several months before he gets better.

And for what it's worth, a 6 week old (even a non-preemie) is way too young to be able to settle down using CIO. If you're doing it because you need a break, then okay, but I wouldn't use it as a method to get to sleep. Hang in there! You can't spoil him or set up bad habits at this age, so do whatever works.

Ahlome08 · November 2014

jenn43 said:
My LO was mildly colicky (fussed and needed to be held for hours every evening, but no out-and-out screaming), and I think I stressed way too much over feeling like I was giving him bad habits. I put a lot of pressure on myself to try to get him to sleep in his crib, and things would have been much easier if I had just cut myself some slack. If he needs to be held, then trade off with DH if possible, so you can each get some reasonable chunks of quality sleep. And it may be several months before he gets better.

And for what it's worth, a 6 week old (even a non-preemie) is way too young to be able to settle down using CIO. If you're doing it because you need a break, then okay, but I wouldn't use it as a method to get to sleep. Hang in there! You can't spoil him or set up bad habits at this age, so do whatever works.

This!! They're too young to form "bad sleeping habits".

Unknown · November 2014

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lastminute2013 · November 2014

I was completely exhausted by my preemie! I only got 2 hours sleep many days and almost lost it comnpletely by around 6-8 weeks, the worst time. Since your baby seems to be calm when she is being held, I don't think she is colicky just very dependent on you.

I figured out a few things that worked for us and it got a lot easier. Not all of these tips worked all of the time and sometimes nothing worked. However, using all of these tips consistently added up to a lot of extra hours of sleep. Here is what worked for me:

- DAD: Even if he can't calm her down, when you are too exhausted to do anything, have him take the baby for a few hours while you catch up on your sleep. He can wear noise cancelling headphones while watching tv. Even though it can be oddly hard to go to sleep when you are so edge, these breaks can help get you ready to go back in the ring.

TWO YAWN RULE: If you see two yawns it is time to get her ready to nap quick. If I don't have her down by three yawns, she gets a second wind

- SWADDLING with a muslin blanket or an ergo swaddler: even if the baby doesn't seem to like it or it doesn't seem to work, you need to get used to getting her in a swaddle whenever she seems tired. The pressure from a tight swaddling will keep her reflexes from waking her up and she will sleep a little longer.

- :SLEEP: Sleep is the goal for both of you and nothing else is important right now. Don't worry about trying to put her down, scheduling, habits, etc. just do whatever it takes to get her to sleep.

- COSLEEPING: If your baby cries whenever you put her down , like mine did, find a way to safely co-sleep with her. She will learn to sleep on her own soon but needs to be held to sleep now. I slept with her on the floor, on top of me, etc.

- FEEDING: give her a little more to eat before bedtime and don't be too concerned about sticking to a rigid feeding schedule, sleep is more important. My preemie needed to feed more often than every three hours.

- WEARING: get a baby carrier and wear her. This helped my baby take naps during the day and left my hands free.

- NOISE: white noise machine, radio, etc.

- SSHHING: loud prolonged shhing really does help especially if you are shhing her louder than she is crying

It sounds like your baby is similar to mine in having a high-need to be close to Mom. These tips helpsed me get some sleep and now, I think, the worst is over. Hang in there and you guys will be great!

badgererin · November 2014

Happiest Baby on the Block, and Babywise are two sleep books we wish we had read before our first was born. Do you have family nearby or can your SO take a turn staying up all night so you can get a good night's sleep? You'll feel tons tons better!!

leela02 · November 2014

Maybe she's hungry? My LO's not a preemie but she is exactly like you described when we try to put her down and she still wants to eat. So now if she drains a bottle I'll usually offer her an extra ounce or two and see what she does with it. She has mild reflux but doesn't seem to overeat--when she is done she won't suck. My pedi said most babies won't overeat even if you try. Definitely ask your pedi if you should be worried about your LO overeating or if you can just let her eat as much as she wants.

Have you tried putting her to sleep on an incline or upright like in a bouncy chair, Rock n Play, or baby carrier? If she hates laying flat but can sleep upright or inclined, she could have acid reflux pains. Also, many babies just don't like laying flat.

Don't try to sleep train her right now. She won't be mature enough to comprehend CIO for another few months. Use pacifiers, white noise, swaddling, rocking, warm baths, whatever helps her sleep.

PrimRoseMama · November 2014

Wait-- you let a 6 week old CIO?! Please don't do that. That's insane.

Babies cry. Sleep deprivation sucks but all you can do is ride it out. Try a swing or vibrating chair. Wear baby or hold them to sleep. Do you nurse? Let baby sleep at the boob.

PrimRoseMama · November 2014

aditigirl said:
I stopped reading once I read that you let your 6 week old PREEMIE CIO.

WTAF?

I just can't get over this.

mikrinikki · November 2014

Maybe previously your lo was just being a preemie and now they are at that horrific 6 week growth spurt? Once you have exhausted other attempts...try a car ride and maybe just let lo sleep in the seat for a bit when you get back. Once lo isnt so overtired, they may get back to a "regular" 3 hour pattern you talked about.

About catching up on sleep. Definitely ask someone else to watch them for a few hours so you can get some sleep. Sometimes just those few hours gives you back your rational thought.

Otherwise, definitely sleep during the day when lo sleeps. I understand it is hard because your to do list is a mile long...but you HAVE to takebof yourself...that should be #2 (behind lo).

tatianaolenko · December 2014

My son was born 5 weeks before the due date. I don't know if it was the reason but he had terrible colic. I was told to try treating him as if he was still in the womb - minimum exposure to external stimuli and swaddling. I read a book by Dr. Harvey Karp where he describes effective ways to soothe babies. Here is more about him.

In our case white noise and swaddling worked best. My son also did't wan't to sleep unless he was hold and rocked. I found that a good baby rocker can do the trick. Here is a list of quality baby swings - https://babygearhub.net/best-baby-swing/

I have the Mamaroo swing and it works just fine.

2ndGeneration · December 2014

I've not had a preemie but it seems to me like 3 hours between feedings might be too long. My babies were all term or past due and at 6 weeks old were just getting to 3 hour feeds ( I bf) and your baby is like 2 days old (adjusted).

I'd talk to your doc about feeding more frequently. And about colic and reflux too.

Sweetiepops · December 2014

**lurking** have you tried nursing while lying down? Wondering if it would calm the baby? My nephew was colicky and a breastfeeding specialist- Dr. Jack Newman told her to Bf lying down.

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Desperate for sleep advice!

Re: Desperate for sleep advice!

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