My husband and I officially broke up in August, after not living together for over 9 months. While I am planning on divorcing him, I haven't contacted a lawyer yet. In the meantime, my daughter is supposed to spend Mondays and Tuesdays with her dad, as those are his regular days off. The last two weeks, his schedule has been Sunday/Tuesday off because his manager has been on vacation (we both work in retail). On his usual days off, he takes DD only about four hours each day. It feels more like he's babysitting than having "visitation". Since Sundays mean football, he didn't take her last week and probably won't this week either.
My problem is, I don't want him to be able to say I'm keeping him from his daughter. I've suggested we take her to the park together or go get coffee. Things that would allow him to spend even an hour with her. But his response has been "I don't have money for coffee" or "It's supposed to rain". He doesn't drive, either, and relies on public transit to get around. Sometimes he uses that as an excuse too. "I can't take DD on the bus", etc.
Part of me is frustrated because he spends very little time with her. On the flip side, he has a substance abuse problem and I worry when she IS with him. I just don't know how this will all effect me legally. We've discussed me having sole custody, which he's fine with as long as he can have visitation. I know I need to get to a lawyer, but don't know how to handle the situation in the meantime.
Re: Time with her dad...
BFP: 07/14/2014, EDD: 03/04/2015
We mostly communicate via text, and I rarely ever delete them, so I often look back on them. There have been times when I knew we discussed something, and he comes back later and says he doesn't know what I'm talking about or that we never agreed on specifics. It makes me question whether I'm remembering things accurately, or maybe I wasn't clear enough with him. Thankfully, I have my texts to go back on and reread. When these miscommunications come up, I usually figure he was either stoned when I talked to him and he doesn't remember the conversation once he's "normal", or vice versa.