Mom friends pet peeves...

beezybaby · November 2014

What's you mom friends pet peeve?

Here's a longer story than necessary to illustrate mine.

So tonight I went to a 31 party (totes, organizers, etc...) It was in the evening, the invite said "adult snacks, wine, and cocktails will be served". To me that screams "no kids!" But one of my best friends brought her 4 month old. And that's cool. She doesn't bottle feed at all, so she sort of had to bring him, I guess. That's not the issue. Him being fussy during our conversations? Not an issue. Her changing him in the middle of the floor while we are all eating? Not and issue. The issue came up toward the end of the party when she goes..."Anybody going to hold him? I hold him alllll day long and he gets heavy! I could use a break!" And all of us there have toddlers AND babies too. We have been holding babies all day too. And I, along with all the other moms there, was looking forward to 2 kid free hours. So the presence of a baby was tolerable, but being straight up asked to take him off his mom's hands. Uh huh. No way. Of course we did though. But not happily.

Maybe I am being insensitive. But I know for a fact that if I ever had to bring a baby to an adult event like that, I would do everything possible to minimize the impact of the party, and I would NEVER ask the other party goers to take care of my child. If they offered I would be grateful. But Never ever ever would I pass my kid off to other tired moms trying to enjoy a moment. Ugh. Sorry for a self righteous rant. Just feeling a little heated, and wanted to vent to some internet strangers instead of friends that might let it get back to this friend in particular.

RedCherry1109 · November 2014

I would side eye someone if they said that to me. I would never ask someone to take my kid because I needed a break unless it was DH.

FreddyisReady · November 2014

Whats the etiquette on holding someone's baby? Like, an acquaintance or something. I always want to hold babies, but feel weird asking.

knightmansmama · November 2014

It's one thing to say that to people with serious baby fever and those without kids but to say it to a room full of moms on a night out, not so much! Plus it's a 4 month old, that's big difference from a fresh from the womb little peanut. Who doesn't love a newborn? Just saying.

tashad18 · November 2014

I too would totally side eye her. it is always nice when someone volunteers to hold or play with the baby, but I never expect it.

knightmansmama · November 2014

@GFJ48‌ once you see how the doctors and nurses are with the baby you will have no fear. They're so rough with them. They're addicting when they're tiny!

Ballet80 · November 2014

This is my first pregnancy and I love holding babies. All the women in my family love me because I am the only one without children and will take care of their babies for hours when we all get together. I find holding babies extremely relaxing, so if someone offers up a baby for me to hold I will gladly take it. But I don't have children, I am sure that will change once I have my own babies to care for. She shouldn't have tried to pawn her baby off on other people, if someone asked to hold her baby then that's a different story. But just openly asking someone take take your baby off your hands is weird!

beezybaby · November 2014

FreddyisReady Just ask them! I think there is more hesitance to hold an acquaintance/stranger's baby than to let an acquaintance/stranger hold your baby. Most moms want other people to ooh and ahh over their baby to validate their feelings that their baby is the cutest, most adorable thing in the world.

Snapdragon750 · November 2014

No. If I'd been there I probably would have helpfully suggested she buy a baby swing. Or snugli. Or a nanny.

missiep86 · November 2014

I would have been annoyed when she changed her baby in the middle of the floor when you all were eating. I have a kid, I change him around the corner, or in a bedroom out of the way. I don't want to see poop when I'm eating, even if it is a baby's. This girl sounds a bit obnoxious.

Swanky929 · November 2014

To be honest, I would have been annoyed that she brought her baby. It sounds like it was meant to be a relaxing, kid free, girls night out. Find a babysitter, leave the baby with dad, or don't go. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

samiamagirl · November 2014

Maybe I'm old school, but I feel like there's a time and a place for children. Yes, exceptions can be made- but on both ends. Your mom friend sounds slightly selfish, but maybe she's still in "everyone loves my brand new baby" mode? I'd definitely have started side eyeing her the second she walked in the door.

Nita2603 · November 2014

I have a friend who keeps trying to hand off her baby. It's always the same: a screech of 'BABY SNUGGLES!' and boooom, you are holding an infant. And ya know, I have two toddlers myself, usually right there. And if those two are not sitting on me and crawl all over me, I kinda don't want to hold hers. Especially, because her older kid is satan and she doesn't really do anything about either and let's the other moms around handle it.

No thanks. Bring your baby, that's not an issue. Of course not. But don't expect others to do your job.

supersarah77 · November 2014

Speaking of uninvited kids, two of my friends hosted my baby shower for DD and their kids were supposed to be watched in the basement by the one friend's husband (whose house it was). All of my friends have kids - I'm an older mom - and none of their kids were invited. HOWEVER, the three kids of the hostesses ended up wandering around the party getting into things, goofing around, and being loud looking for attention. Where was the husband?? I never said anything but it did bug me a little. I felt bad for the guests, especially because they all had to arrange for child care.

scubakate · November 2014

I would have taken my food to a different room and encouraged others to do the same when she started changing a diaper in the middle of the room. I"m a FTM but have plenty of friends with babies and it's just common courtesy to to that in private. I don't mind friends brining babies to "adult" get togethers, esp at that age since food is important and all, but show your peers some respect.

beezybaby · November 2014

Thanks ladies for letting me vent. She is actually a great girl, very supportive and giving, smart and funny, but this is the one area where she consistently crosses the line. Like just because we all have kids we should be fine with her doing all her baby things on plain sight. Or just because we have arms free of kids for a bit, that we should take a turn with hers. It is annoying but I am sure we all do things that annoy our friends that we are not even aware of. Empathy is easier to come by this morning....

mp03jp · November 2014

My mom friend pet peeve: the know it all mom

example:

She is not really my friend more of a friend of a friend but we end up seeing each other more than I'd like to. She is older than I am and very set in her ways. you can't tell her anything. Like I'm horrible because we vaccinate, formula feed, give DD baby food and use Johnson and Johnson baby wash. She reads things from blogs on the internet so it all must be true. It gets pretty annoying.

josim · November 2014

pinkbarebear said:
I'll vent about a mom friend.
She decided that she wants to enroll her son Into a Montessori school. Only thing is, they require the students to be potty trained. So she's pushing her son to learn. Well when her and her husband drop off their son he's wearing underwear, not a pull up. So I asked how often is he used to being asked if he needs to go potty. They say just whenever, he will let me know. Well, I think that's weird when considering he's only been trying for a week or so. So I take him to use the potty as soon as they leave. He pees in the potty. Then he starts playing and in less than 5 min he crapped his pants. Epic style. He pulled off his underwear, he stepped in it. It's all over my bathroom, his body. And I have MS so I throw up. It's so bad I just stuck him in the shower to hose him off because I went through an entire box of wipes to clean this epic shit off.
Here's the punch line: a month down the road I wake up to a picture text of her son pooping in the potty, "for the first time"
So you sent your un-potty trained kid to the very easily nauseated babysitters in underwear. Clearly a good idea. Because there's no such thing as training pants. And I didn't get paid. (

This is probably the most disgusting thing I've read on TB.

Seriously...who does that?!

kj808 · November 2014

I'm also fine with exclusively-bf babies going with their moms wherever they need to go, but she should have absolutely taken the child in another room to change him.

la79al · November 2014

OP- Is this friend by chance a SAHM? She sounds like she didn't want to leave the group because she is craving adult interaction and she wanted to pass the baby off because she was tired of being sole caregiver for most of the day.

josim · November 2014

pinkbarebear said:

josim said:

pinkbarebear said:
I'll vent about a mom friend.
She decided that she wants to enroll her son Into a Montessori school. Only thing is, they require the students to be potty trained. So she's pushing her son to learn. Well when her and her husband drop off their son he's wearing underwear, not a pull up. So I asked how often is he used to being asked if he needs to go potty. They say just whenever, he will let me know. Well, I think that's weird when considering he's only been trying for a week or so. So I take him to use the potty as soon as they leave. He pees in the potty. Then he starts playing and in less than 5 min he crapped his pants. Epic style. He pulled off his underwear, he stepped in it. It's all over my bathroom, his body. And I have MS so I throw up. It's so bad I just stuck him in the shower to hose him off because I went through an entire box of wipes to clean this epic shit off.
Here's the punch line: a month down the road I wake up to a picture text of her son pooping in the potty, "for the first time"
So you sent your un-potty trained kid to the very easily nauseated babysitters in underwear. Clearly a good idea. Because there's no such thing as training pants. And I didn't get paid. (
This is probably the most disgusting thing I've read on TB.

Seriously...who does that?!
Sorry. I hope I didn't make anyone sick. Probably TMI but I've been holding in that story for too long. I can finally stomach the thought again to vent about it lol

Don't apologize...I laughed at it too...you certainly painted a vivid image in my mind!! If that was my friend, I would never look after her children again.

beezybaby · November 2014

la79al- yes she is. so am I. So were every single one of the guests. So I understand the motives, but still, not cool when we are all just trying to catch some baby free time.

DawnLilly · November 2014

In regards to baby shower etiquette: little girls of any age are welcomed I've found but boys 1+ usually stay with dad. Just something I've noticed, probably not a hard rule.

When DS was 1 I was supposed to go to dinner with 3 friends. Two didn't have children and the 3rd had a 4 month old. I went grocery shopping first and busted my ass to get out on time to make dinner. I was 5 min late to the restaurant but no one else had gotten there yet. Turns out they were having wine at one of their houses. They were 45 minutes late, all drove together, and then left early because Number 3 brought the baby with and "she gets a bit fussy this late at night"

I was fuming and about ready to explode when #3 complains she never gets to finish her food. Friend 1 & 2 take the baby and try to calm her and neither can. I'm thoroughly enjoying my glass of wine and #3 asks me to try while she eats because you know, I'm a mom. Fuck you. Lol this was over a year ago and I guess I'm still angry.

Lauracox3 · November 2014

smile55k said:
I just saw a picture of a puddle of pee and a pile of poop on Facebook! Ummmm NO, just NO! No one wants to see that. I am seriously appalled at what some moms think is appropriate.

This is one of my fears. I don't get up in arms about much, but the posts that some moms put on Facebook are TMI. I am a FTM and do not post overly personal info on Facebook much. I haven't even announced yet until I feel like I am ready to share the info with strangers. I worry that I will one day be one of the moms that overshares on Facebook. OH THE HORROR.

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