Daycare withholding food

RibbitGrl930 · November 2014

So, DS's daycare normally does their lunch counts around 10am, with the understanding that parents will call if they are going to drop their child off any later than that so the kitchen can know whether to prepare a plate for them. Today, the director left a note saying that there have been many instances of parents not abiding by this, that is, dropping off their children during lunch without first calling to report they'd be late. This is very taxing on the kitchen staff, as they then have to prepare as many as 10-12 extra plates of food on the fly. She went on to say that, going forward, if parents are going to bring their kids after lunch is served and not call to inform, they should make sure their children have eaten as extra plates will no longer be prepared in these cases.

While I certainly understand the difficult position this puts the daycare in, I have to wonder as to the legality (regulations wise) of withholding food from little children. I absolutely agree that parents need to communicate tardies to the daycare and that it can be very frustrating for the kitchen staff to have to make a whole bunch of extra plates after thinking they're done. Parents should also make sure their children are fed when there's a possibility of not getting the next meal at DC. However, it sounds a little off to me that it would be okay to refuse food to a child in their care. I know it's a violation to withhold food as a form of punishment, but not sure about this move. This director has been very aware and strict of rules and regulations in the past, so i could be totally wrong, especially since we have been given notice. And I can't find anything in my research. Does anybody know anything about this?

ErinO21 · November 2014

I have no idea if it's legal or not as I don't have to deal with a daycare center. It almost sounds like the center is punishing the child for the parents mistake. There should be some quick and easy meal that the extra plates could be made of. For example, which this is only a little similar, when people forgot lunch money in high school they could have a peanut butter sandwich and I think whatever fruit was being served. I would definitely be asking some questions though!

[Deleted User] · November 2014

This is our school's policy. They serve food during a certain time block. They will set a plate aside in certain circumstances IF you let them know.

But I also highly doubt they will let a child cry and starve.

I see nothing wrong with this policy.

jbatch · November 2014

I run a daycare and if a parent brings a child in that has not eaten and it is after lunch time we will tell them they have to take the child to get food because lunch is over. It is not that we will withhold food it is that we will tell the parent they have to do the food. We also will make the parent stay in the lunch room with the child while they eat if their class has already gone back to the room where we do not allow them to eat.

ASmallWonder · November 2014

I think this isn't the way to handle it. I can think of 2 better options. 1 is, like other people said, have quick things the child can have. Cheese sandwich, cheese/crackers/fruit, something easy. OR, charge the parents a penalty fee. Sure, it won't fix the issue immediately and it may still happen sometimes but hitting people in the wallet typically works best.

kristennd · November 2014

Our preschool has a back up stash with quick food and then charges the parent $20 per meal. They wanted it to be too much to be tempting to just 'buy' the kid lunch.

mlee116 · November 2014

Our DC has a similar rule except the issue was more with breakfast than lunch. Parents were bringing their children in late and then expecting DC to serve them breakfast separately. The director sent out a letter stating that breakfast is served at 8 AM and any child arriving that will not be able to eat breakfast.

However, I can't imagine that they would flat out deny food to a hungry child. Like PPs said, they would probably just give them something they have on hand. I agree that a better policy is to charge a penalty or have some type of back up meal in these cases. Or require parents who have missed the cutoff time to leave a lunch with their child before they can drop them off.

skibunny59 · November 2014

MarlaSinger& said:

This is our school's policy. They serve food during a certain time block. They will set a plate aside in certain circumstances IF you let them know. But I also highly doubt they will let a child cry and starve. I see nothing wrong with this policy.

I agree with this.

MommyAtty · November 2014

I'm a little confused about the policy. Is it that if the kid isn't there at 10:00 when they do the count but is there at lunch the kid won't be served? Because that's crap. If it's the kid gets there after lunch is over, then the kid won't be served, I think that makes total sense. But to have a 2 year old sit and starve while other kids eat because their parents didn't call? Absolutely not okay, and I doubt it's legal. Even if it is legal, that would show a kind of cruelty I wouldn't subject my child to.

sugarbear0524 · November 2014

My son's preschool has a similar policy about breakfast. If you're not there by 8 am, no breakfast. They feed them a great snack at 10 am, something like homemade banana bread.

It's my responsibility as a parent to feed him breakfast if we're going to be late.

2chatter · November 2014

Makes sense to me and is consistent with the schools our kids have attended. The schools, did, however, give the kids cheese sandwiches if the parent messed up the communication. I think they probably worded it poorly - and mean that the child will not receive the hot, prepared lunch...not that they will be excluded from all food.

Our school's policy is that lunch is lunch and eating happens then. I did have to take DS to the ped at lunch time and had a meeting I could not miss after, so with a request, they did make an exception and fed him when he arrived right at the tail end of lunch.

Tink112011 · November 2014

I cannot blame your DC for putting their foot down. That is poor communication by the parents and disrespectful. Parents expect top quality communication from daycare and that needs to go both ways.

Once in a while, DS will arrive to daycare late because a train is going through downtown or the bridge is open for a boat to go through and traffic gets backed up for a good 15-20 minutes. On a normal day, DS arrives at daycare right as breakfast is put on the table. So if he ends up 20 minutes late, breakfast is over.

Do you know what I do? I freaking call daycare to inform them that DS is indeed on his way, that a train is causing traffic issues, and that I would appreciate them holding breakfast for him.

Guest what they say? "No problem, thanks for letting us know!"

If I didn't call and DS arrived well after the expected breakfast time, I might ask "Hey, do you have some crackers to tie him over until lunch?" No way would I expect them to stop caring for the other 11 kids in his room and stop their activities or outside time to serve him a hot, well-rounded breakfast.

sugarbear0524 · November 2014

I still think it is the parents' responsibility. Everyone runs late from time to time, but I think it is my job to remedy the situation. When we are running late, I go through the McDonald's drive through or I pull out peanut butter/crackers or something.

RibbitGrl930 · November 2014

MommyAtty said:

I'm a little confused about the policy. Is it that if the kid isn't there at 10:00 when they do the count but is there at lunch the kid won't be served? Because that's crap. If it's the kid gets there after lunch is over, then the kid won't be served, I think that makes total sense. But to have a 2 year old sit and starve while other kids eat because their parents didn't call? Absolutely not okay, and I doubt it's legal. Even if it is legal, that would show a kind of cruelty I wouldn't subject my child to.

No, from what I can tell, she was referring to kids who arrive after lunch has been served without a call prior to inform.

And thanks for the responses everybody. I agree that the director was right to at least put her foot down as far as calling out parents who have not been calling to inform their kids would be late. I just wondered about the withholding food part, because part of me pictures a poor one-year-old sitting there watching his friends eat, and then getting hungry later because he was not given any food, especially since snack time is usually 4 hours later. I agree it's the parents' responsibility to communicate. I hadn't thought of the daycare possibly having a stash of quick snacks they could give instead of preparing a plate.

MickeyM04 · November 2014

With your clarification, this sounds like pretty much the policy at every daycare we've ever toured/been a part of/whatever. I would have had a problem if the kids arrive at 11:00 after the 10:00 counts and then aren't served and have to watch everyone eat just because their parents forgot to call. That would be just plain mean. However, I don't understand why parents would expect that if they arrive after a meal time, that they're going to pull the food back out for that kid.

We are told breakfast is served to anyone who arrives before 7:30. Lunch is served from 11:30-12:30. Snacks are served at 8:45 and 3:30. I would never expect that if my child arrived at 1:00 that they would go and pull out a plate. How many other kids are there to attend to? They're going to drop everything to grab my kid lunch and then he's going to sit at the table by himself and eat while everyone else is napping? When I know we are not going to arrive by 7:30, I give DS breakfast or a snack in the car. If you don't have the time to get your kid something to eat prior to arrival at the center, why would you expect the daycare to do so when they have how many other kids to attend to?

BabyHope2013 · November 2014

This is also a very similar policy to our daycare. We go to a home daycare that is run like a center. Breakfast is served when your child arrives between 7 a.m.-9 a.m. If your child arrives after 9 a.m. and hasn't eaten breakfast, they will hold a plate for them if you tell them you are going to be late doing drop off. Otherwise, it is your responsibility to feed your child. I know that our DC provider would probably just give the child some kind of snack or cereal. Same thing goes for lunch. Lunch is served at 11:30 a.m. If your child is not there by around 10:30-11---then they do not make food for them. Lunch is over 12:15-12:30. As a parent I kinda feel like it's your responsibility to make sure that your child gets fed. It's not difficult to call if you want your LO fed there, if you cannot feed them yourself.

RibbitGrl930 · November 2014

Great feedback, ladies. Thanks! And I discovered, to my horror, that we are one of the offenders. DH sometimes doesn't go to work until 11:30, and I assumed he was calling daycare on those days to inform them DS would be in late, because I had seen him do it once. He confessed he hadn't been. He realized too late once that he forgot to, and didn't think twice about "forgetting" again because nobody said anything to him. Well, rest assured, I sure as heck said someing to him. I was mortified, because I never failed to call when I was working later shifts. I don't think he'll be forgetting again!

amieeyoung · November 2014

Men just don't think things through do they?

mommymegan831 · November 2014

I think this is probably more of a threat to the parents. I'd assume if a child is starving, they'd feed them. I also assume, but I may be wrong, that a child dropped off that late has already eaten.
I drop my kids off around 6:45 and breakfast isn't until 9:30. I usually bring a snack but if ds is having a rough morning I've seen them offer him something else to eat. Last week I came very late for me at 4:30 and was surprised to see the kids eating since they usually are eating snack at 3 when I normally get there. Apparently some kids eat a dinner at that time also. They gave ds an extra snack then, although it's not covered in our plan. my boy loves to eat and was probably upset the other kids were and not him.
I wouldn't expect a full meal, but if a school really denied food and made them cry in hunger, I'd question their judgement

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