Disappointing Sister

soniaren · November 2014

My older sister lives out of state so I decided to put off telling her about baby until she visited. I told her and her exact words were "okay" then she went back to talking about work. I'm her only sister & this is her first niece or nephew. It's cool that she didn't get excited but I was shocked she didn't have any follow up questions abou EDD, possible names, or how I'm feeling. My sister is always the center of attention so I don't know why I'm even bothered but I just thought this was different.

dkleid · November 2014

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I know how you feel though. My sister lives in town and is pregnant with babies number 2 and 3 (twins) I am pregnant with our first. My parents said congrats and then went right back to talking about my sister and her pregnancy. Just try and hang in there. It can be tough but just know that your baby will be loved my so many other people and if your sister wants to have that kind of attitude that is her problem and not yours.

mrssscott28 · November 2014

I have a sister like that as well, it's all about her. Maybe she reacted that way out of possible jealousy? Or maybe she hasn't fully processed it yet. In any case, your baby is a blessing and if she can't be happy for you and your LO, then it's her perogative.

ELauren88 · November 2014

I also have a sister that is the center of attention 24/7. She's also the baby of the family, so take that how you will. I told her via text that I'm PG, and she sent back ":(".
So there's that. Sorry your sister couldn't give you the light for a minute!

ashleighrieckhoff · November 2014

I saw my best friend go through this and its honestly such a terrible thing to have to go through! You need to remain positive and happy for yourself never mind how she reacts! My friends sister now absolutely adores her nephew and spoils him rotten! Hoping for your sake she makes a turn around!

sabett · November 2014

I'm so sorry to hear that! I don't know why your sister wasn't more excited, and that would really be frustrating. But, I do know that just before I found out I was pregnant (we were trying) my younger sister (who was not trying) called to say she was pregnant. I was super excited for her... and cried when I got off the phone. For me it was a happy ending because we found out we were pregnant a week later. But honestly? If we really struggled to conceive, it would have been hard. Again, your situation could be totally different, but I wanted to share. Hope things get better!

Leahks77 · November 2014

I feel you... I told my siblings this week and my brothers response? "You better not have a girl! I want the first granddaughter." He's not even in a stable relationship. I told him there's a 50/50 shot. Families are so weird. Know that other people will be so excited and supportive it will make up for it

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

HChad · November 2014

My sister is also the baby and feels she should be the center of attention. When I told her it looked like we couldn't have children, she told me not to bother her with our problems. That was one week before I found out we are expecting. I haven't told her, in fact I'm not speaking to her. I'm dreading her finding out because she will be an absolute nightmare. She has 2 little ones I adore. Hang in there! My brother is beyond excited which helps s lot

mandybacken · November 2014

HChad said:
My sister is also the baby and feels she should be the center of attention. When I told her it looked like we couldn't have children, she told me not to bother her with our problems. That was one week before I found out we are expecting. I haven't told her, in fact I'm not speaking to her. I'm dreading her finding out because she will be an absolute nightmare. She has 2 little ones I adore. Hang in there! My brother is beyond excited which helps s lot

Oh that's such a sad comment! "Don't bother me with your problems." I don't know how you didn't burst into tears. It's not like you were talking about a stain on a new shirt or computer problems!

taboullio84 · November 2014

HChad said:
My sister is also the baby and feels she should be the center of attention. When I told her it looked like we couldn't have children, she told me not to bother her with our problems. That was one week before I found out we are expecting. I haven't told her, in fact I'm not speaking to her. I'm dreading her finding out because she will be an absolute nightmare. She has 2 little ones I adore. Hang in there! My brother is beyond excited which helps s lot

Woooow what a c#nt... Sorry she acted like that

elbowpasta · November 2014

My brother said, "I thought you were going to wait a few years. So this was an accident, then? Well, congratulations, I guess." and then started on a story about himself.

I don't know why I expected him to jump up and down for me - he isn't exactly a huge fan of DH - but I at least expected some faux-enthusiasm.

I'm sorry about your sister.... She's not the most important opinion on the room, but it still hurts that's she's not there for you. I get it. Just focus on all of the people around you that are over the moon about it. This will pass.

ohiodoxiemama08 · November 2014

I'm sorry that happened. When I told my sister about DD she definitely wasn't thrilled. She's the older sibling but I got pregnant first--which I know was not cool with her at all. She's also really into being the center of attention. She has her own son now so things are a little bit better...but I know she's still jealous I had a girl (she wanted the first grandchild and a girl and got neither). It bums me out a little that we're not super close and that she's not super close to DD but I try to remember that it probably was hard for her to see her "little" sister do things first and that some people are just not going to react the way you hope. I'm actually dreading telling her about this pregnancy too--it always just seems to be such an attention struggle which is unfortunate.

soniaren · November 2014

@asutherl‌ I can't say. She has a beautiful 2 y/o and just won a weightlifting contest.

brooke1082 · November 2014

ohiodoxiemama08 said:
I'm sorry that happened. When I told my sister about DD she definitely wasn't thrilled. She's the older sibling but I got pregnant first--which I know was not cool with her at all. She's also really into being the center of attention. She has her own son now so things are a little bit better...but I know she's still jealous I had a girl (she wanted the first grandchild and a girl and got neither). It bums me out a little that we're not super close and that she's not super close to DD but I try to remember that it probably was hard for her to see her "little" sister do things first and that some people are just not going to react the way you hope. I'm actually dreading telling her about this pregnancy too--it always just seems to be such an attention struggle which is unfortunate.

My sister is 13 months younger than me. She graduated college first, got married first, and had a baby 4.5 years ago, with my parents' first grand baby. I couldn't be happier for her! I was there when she gave birth and I feel fortunate to have experienced my niece coming into the world. I'm super excited to tell her I'm expecting (she'll be the first one besides DH to know). I am her biggest fan and I look at it this way: we made different decisions in life. She's always been a planner and knew when she would get married, what she wanted to do for a career, and when she wanted to have kids. She did all of those things exactly as she planned. I'm more of a free spirit. I'm glad I didn't marry until later in life and I'm glad I have my DH and SS. It's not a competition... At least not for me.

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with an older sister who doesn't just support you. Being born first does not make any difference in who starts their family first.

HChad · November 2014

I did burst into tears. It was via text, sent as I was getting ready for my first day at a new job. I have since deleted her and her husbands' contact info. They don't know where we're moving in a few months and won't be told. The holidays will be tense this year...

tinybugsmom · November 2014

My older (and only) sister is like that..... I was excited and supportive for her 3 pregnancies. But she was very emotionless when I told her I am expecting. She also said some rude things.....

It upset me. Still does. And she is being totally childish and immature about her and her boys no longer being center stage.

Oh well.... I pray for her, send her love, and hope one day her heart will change.

HChad · November 2014

Yeah, she's always been challenging, but we were getting along quite well. I think when I refused to be her free childcare until 2 in the morning because I work full time I crossed some imaginary line of her's. What ev, she's the same one who punched me in the face a few years ago because I told her "No"

sgarmand · November 2014

I'm dealing with the same issue with my attention craving SIL. It's really, really foreign to me that siblings treat each other this way. I have two brothers, and while yes, there were times we were jealous of each other because "so-and-so got a better present" or "so-and-so always gets his/her way" we've always been genuinely happy for each other when it has come to life events. My I got engaged first, my brother got married first, and now is expecting the first grandbaby of the family in a couple weeks! When I found out I was going to be an aunt, I was OVER THE MOON! So excited! I will never understand people being so self-centered...

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