Kids want crappy toys for Christmas ?

la79al · November 2014

Just curious what everyone does when their kiddo asks for something for Christmas, birthday, etc, that you think is a bad idea. DD1 is asking for the Doc McStuffins check up center which did not get the greatest reviews and seems to be geared more towards preschoolers (DD1 is 6.5, DD2 is 4). It's pretty much the only thing she has asked for so far. If it were a $30 item it wouldn't be a big deal but $65 is a little more pricey.

Cherryblossoms07 · November 2014

Lol! I have the same issue with the mobile unit. My DD is 5 and points the mobile unit out every time we get a toy ad. I don't understand why my daughter is so drawn to it. My DD barely watches Doc Mcstuffins and she has a non-character doctor's stand that she barely uses. I asked her once and she says it's because Lamby is cute?!? Not sure why that makes the mobile unit interesting. She doesn't want a Lamby doll.

I am having DD keep a running list of toys that she is interested in. I tell her every so often that Santa cannot bring her everything, so she will need to only ask for the things she really wants and will play with. I know there are other things she wants more, so I hope the mobile unit doesn't make the final cut.

Forgot to add, if that ends up being the only thing your DD asks for I would look into other play doctor things/stands that are not geared towards such young of kids and has better reviews. See if she would be interested in any of the alternatives.

Linnea503 · November 2014

I'm such a softie I would probably just buy it. I like pp's idea to encourage a long list and explain Santa only brings some of the requests.

PrimRoseMama · November 2014

Um, give them the toy? It's not like it will matter if it's "crappy" to you. To your kid it's important. Oy.

Cherryblossoms07 · November 2014

PrimRoseMama said:
Um, give them the toy? It's not llike it will matter if it's "crappy" to you. To your kid it's important. Oy.

I don't think that just because a child asks for a toy automatically means that it is important to them. There have been plenty of times where my kids have asked for something that turned out upon talking to them about it wasn't what they wanted after all (wants it because "O" at preschool wants it and talks about it all the time, thinks the toy does something it doesn't, etc.).

We all make the final say on toys that we buy our kids and we all have different criteria on which we base our decisions. For me, I hate spending money on overpriced "junk" so I may see if there is an alternative that would make my kids happy. If not, and they really want it, then I may reluctantly buy the item I am not thrilled about buying.

Spin313 · November 2014

I'm kind of in the same boat. DS is 6.5 and he's asking for this Paw Patrol playset that he saw on a commercial. It seems more for preschoolers...but, if that's what he REALLY wants, I'll probably buy it. (DH is saying not to buy it, though).

kcisthebombdotcom · November 2014

I try to lure my kids towards what I want to get them. Lol. I wanted to get ds a ride on for the backyard so I talked it up a lot, showed him pictures of the one I wanted, etc and now he won't shut up about it. Lol. I agree with not getting them everything but I do make an effort to get them the one toy they are really into. If I couldn't lure my kid away from a crap toy I'd probably just buckle and get it.

jlpev · November 2014

Were getting ds & dd a trampoline. Neither have asked for it. But they are getting it & something small. Ds wants a train set so I'm letting his Nana get it. Dd is 1 so she won't care. Ds is 3 almost 4. He will be happy either way.

SouthernAcorn · November 2014

While it is important to take your child's wants into consideration when shopping for presents, you are the adult and it's your money your spending. If you honestly believe that the price isn't worth the product, don't buy it. You wouldn't buy anything else based on poor reviews and an undesirable price, why a toy? Take their wants as more of a suggestion. Find a more appropriate option based on the theme they have given you and 9 times out of 10 they won't miss what they never had.

alli2672 · November 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:

I try to lure my kids towards what I want to get them. Lol. I wanted to get ds a ride on for the backyard so I talked it up a lot, showed him pictures of the one I wanted, etc and now he won't shut up about it. Lol. I agree with not getting them everything but I do make an effort to get them the one toy they are really into. If I couldn't lure my kid away from a crap toy I'd probably just buckle and get it.

I do this too, KC.

NicoleWI · November 2014

I mostly still get to pick everything out. But, if there is something crappy that they really want, over a long period of time, I will get it. Sometimes they forget and like 2 weeks later they've moved on to something else.

mrskelly731 · November 2014

DD saw the lawn ornaments of Mickey, Minnie and a snowman at Costco that she says "I want for Christmas Day" lol we've always wanted to buy some sort of out door décor so DH is seriously considering getting it for her and setting it all up in the living room for Christmas morning. We'll see. She also wants a scooter and Ariel baby doll. She'll be 4 12/24.

Keeptruckin · November 2014

This is when DD's quirky traits and autism are a bonus! She has been telling us all week, "if Santa brings me more than two gifts I will be very very mad!" Okay kiddo lol! I do like KC does and talk up certain things. Oh look, this is so cool and show her ads, etc.

mandymack · November 2014

Honestly? It varies year-to-year and my response has everything to do with how severely crappy the gift is.... so, I don't have just one way to deal with it.

Like others have said, I do a few things:
1. I tell her to put it on the list and Santa can take it into consideration - I did this with the Orbeez Spa, Stuffie and Flippeez hat she asked for last year. Lucky for me, Santa didn't bring any of those things and she hasn't asked for them again, thankfully!
2. I pass it off to Gram and Aunt J to purchase - they almost always oblige because all they really want is to get her what she wants and don't care how crappy it is. This also leaves them looking like the hero, which is fine by me!
3. I swallow hard, keep quiet and just buy it, all the while waiting until it breaks or she no longer cares about it so I can donate it

- I have chosen this option every year with one of her most-asked for gifts which means I am also the hero every Christmas. It's a win-win!

It's the first week of November so I say, if she continues to oggle it at Target or on TV and/or talk about it come next month, I'd probably purchase it, just as I plan to purchase the Stomp & Chomp Grimlock she's been asking for since September.

Good luck!

caranichole · November 2014

We simply don't ask and don't make lists. I only make a wish list for the kids and DH for my mom because she insists on it and it helps her get ideas.

And if she sees something and I don't want to buy or don't think it's worth it, I say no and call it a day. Worst possible outcome - she makes a sad face until she gets over it a few minutes later.

PrimRoseMama · November 2014

Define crappy? The tone of this post is bothersome. I don't buy every little thing my kid asks for, but if I think she will like it then I go ahead. One toy of a toddler's choosing won't spoil them & they might enjoy it for many months/years.

One man's trash is another man's treasure. So just because you don't see value in the toy & consider it junk doesn't mean that your kids do. Shoot, there are some that are happy to get anything at all. Some kids would love the junk you turn your nose up at.

My toddler tends to love books & paints-- so score, but if she wanted a doctor play set or some other play set I might reserve a purchase like that for a birthday or Christmas.

Such a first-world issue & perhaps some perspective might really help this holiday season.

jensriot · November 2014

I was dealing with this same question and some wise friends helped me out. C (6 yo) asked for something that may be too young, not durable, very novelty, etc. I decided to get it for her for the magic of the day. She will see it under the tree and be thrilled. Sure, it may not last, but the magic that is Christmas only lasts for so long. If it is in your budget and you have the room, think about getting it for the joy. You can always sell or donate it if she doesn't play with it. Who knows, it may get played with every day for a year.

caranichole · November 2014

LalaMama81 said:

caranichole said:

We simply don't ask and don't make lists. I only make a wish list for the kids and DH for my mom because she insists on it and it helps her get ideas.

And if she sees something and I don't want to buy or don't think it's worth it, I say no and call it a day. Worst possible outcome - she makes a sad face until she gets over it a few minutes later.

That must be so magical for them.

It is what it is. At the end of the day, I will never have the issue or debate that OP is having. My kids are gifted things year round whether it's a special occasion or not. I know what my kids will like. They don't have to tell me what to get them. They are the most excited and grateful every time!

There a million other holiday traditions out there to make it magical for them. Lists are simply not one of them.

kcisthebombdotcom · November 2014

caranichole said:

LalaMama81 said:

caranichole said:

We simply don't ask and don't make lists. I only make a wish list for the kids and DH for my mom because she insists on it and it helps her get ideas.

And if she sees something and I don't want to buy or don't think it's worth it, I say no and call it a day. Worst possible outcome - she makes a sad face until she gets over it a few minutes later.

That must be so magical for them.

It is what it is. At the end of the day, I will never have the issue or debate that OP is having.

Lmao that you know this for sure when your oldest child is three years younger than the OPs.

jensriot · November 2014

caranichole said:

LalaMama81 said:

caranichole said:

We simply don't ask and don't make lists. I only make a wish list for the kids and DH for my mom because she insists on it and it helps her get ideas.

And if she sees something and I don't want to buy or don't think it's worth it, I say no and call it a day. Worst possible outcome - she makes a sad face until she gets over it a few minutes later.

That must be so magical for them.

It is what it is. At the end of the day, I will never have the issue or debate that OP is having. My kids are gifted things year round whether it's a special occasion or not. I know what my kids will like. They don't have to tell me what to get them. They are the most excited and grateful every time!

There a million other holiday traditions out there to make it magical for them. Lists are simply not one of them.

Ha! Never say never.

caranichole · November 2014

@lalamama81 I didn't say my kids weren't allowed to ask for a toy. Nor did I say I'd never ask. I said that we don't make christmas/birthday lists. If we walk through a store and they see something they'd like, I make a mental note.

In re: to DH - He does not make lists either. No, I do not decide what he wants. I know him well enough to know what he would like. He couldn't care less what or if I or anyone else gave him anything. That's just how we are.

@kcisthebombdotcom

@jenriot I can absolutely say "never." I am not saying that my kids won't ever throw a fit over not getting what they want or getting something they don't want. They do it all the time. Just this afternoon the oldest threw a fit because she didn't want a pb&j, she wanted turkey and cheese. Does this mean I am going to give her a turkey and cheese? Nope. It means that she is going to throw a fit on the kitchen floor and then in a few minutes when she realized that nothing is going to change, she will have to make a choice of whether or not to be hungry or eat the pb&j.

It worked for me growing up. My brother always got what he wants, so in his 20s he sent out a list and expected to get what he wanted. I rarely got what I wanted and so, I don't expect anything and I appreciate everything.

So yes, I can say that you will never hear me question what to do if my kid wants something that I don't want to get them. I will simply not give it to them and they will move on in their lives. They will not be scarred for life over a lack of 1 toy.

LoveBeingMama · November 2014

Your kids are going to make 'lists,' whether you want them to or not. They may not be written down, but I promise you there is a list. If you don't want to follow the list, that's your choice as a parent. But don't kid yourself and think you will never have this debate.

One of my favorite memories from last Christmas was taking my son, who was 3.5, to Toys R Us on a 'date.' We walked through every aisle, and he pointed out all of the toys he liked and wanted to put on his list. Yes, I could have picked out all of his gifts by myself, but the experience let me see different parts of his personality and gave me some great ideas I nver would have thought of. It also helped prevent me from buying some things I thought he would like when really he had no interest in them. He was very thoughtful about what he put on his list, and it allowed for some very teachable moments - understanding patience, in that we were not buying anything that night and he would get gifts in a few weeks, and also a good discussion about not expecting to get everything on his list. Did he ask for and get some crappy toys? Yep. He got some things I thought he would like even if they weren't on his list, he got some of the nicer toys he had picked out, and he got the piece of junk 7-11 Slurpee maker that he had been pining over. And on Christmas morning he was thrilled to get it and disappointed that it was a huge bust. We've used it as an example throughout the year whenever he has wanted something that maybe would be disappointing once he buys it.

Our Christmas list date is now a tradition for us. It doesn't mean he gets everything he wants and it doesn't mean I cave in to getting every piece of junk that will just collect dust in my house. (And I know this wouldn't work for all kids - my oldest has the personality to handle a trip to TRU like this. My younger son, maybe not). But I'm fine with my kids wishing for things and getting some of them on Christmas, whether I think they are the very best, highest quality toys or a piece of plastic junk my kids will love. I have the rest of the year to tell them no.

caranichole · November 2014

farmrsboywife said:

It's not about you. It's about your kid and the freaking Christmas magic.
I think out definitions of Christmas magic are not the same. For my family and our traditions gifts are last. Family time is the biggest part and serving and giving is the second. Reviving is last. When I think of Christmas I think about my family time, not the gifts under the tree. That statement right there makes it a pissing match.

Same as @farmrsboywife "Christmas magic" for us simply has nothing to do with the gifts they receive.

I was just giving our current philosophy on the matter. Yes kids are going to have an idea of what they want but the idea of sitting and going, "I don't want to give my kid this toy but she wants it, what do i do?"...I just don't see it happening.

I don't judge anyone for getting the toy, making a list or whatever. And I certainly don't think I am a better or worse mom for it. I'm simply a different mom with a different way of creating "christmas magic."

kcisthebombdotcom · November 2014

caranichole said:

@lalamama81 I didn't say my kids weren't allowed to ask for a toy. Nor did I say I'd never ask. I said that we don't make christmas/birthday lists. If we walk through a store and they see something they'd like, I make a mental note.

In re: to DH - He does not make lists either. No, I do not decide what he wants. I know him well enough to know what he would like. He couldn't care less what or if I or anyone else gave him anything. That's just how we are.

@kcisthebombdotcom
@jenriot I can absolutely say "never." I am not saying that my kids won't ever throw a fit over not getting what they want or getting something they don't want. They do it all the time. Just this afternoon the oldest threw a fit because she didn't want a pb&j, she wanted turkey and cheese. Does this mean I am going to give her a turkey and cheese? Nope. It means that she is going to throw a fit on the kitchen floor and then in a few minutes when she realized that nothing is going to change, she will have to make a choice of whether or not to be hungry or eat the pb&j.

It worked for me growing up. My brother always got what he wants, so in his 20s he sent out a list and expected to get what he wanted. I rarely got what I wanted and so, I don't expect anything and I appreciate everything.

So yes, I can say that you will never hear me question what to do if my kid wants something that I don't want to get them. I will simply not give it to them and they will move on in their lives. They will not be scarred for life over a lack of 1 toy.

I think the point of giving someone a gift is giving something the OTHER person wants. It's not about what the giver wants to give. I got the things I asked Santa for as a child and I don't expect anything (on the contrary every year I tell my dh and family not to buy for me) and I appreciate what I have. That doesn't mean my kids get everything they want. Some things are too pricey or we don't have the room. I just simply explain that's too much and Santa has other kids to provide for or explain we don't have the room. That one special gift their eyes light up over, the one they talk incessantly about, that one they ask for first when sitting on santa's lap--they do get though because it's not all about me. it's about them. Then again I also give my kid a choice between a PB sandwich and a turkey sandwich because I listen to them and take their thoughts/feelings into consideration so I don't have meltdowns over lunch.

lexusolsen · November 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:

caranichole said:

@lalamama81 I didn't say my kids weren't allowed to ask for a toy. Nor did I say I'd never ask. I said that we don't make christmas/birthday lists. If we walk through a store and they see something they'd like, I make a mental note.

In re: to DH - He does not make lists either. No, I do not decide what he wants. I know him well enough to know what he would like. He couldn't care less what or if I or anyone else gave him anything. That's just how we are.

@kcisthebombdotcom
@jenriot I can absolutely say "never." I am not saying that my kids won't ever throw a fit over not getting what they want or getting something they don't want. They do it all the time. Just this afternoon the oldest threw a fit because she didn't want a pb&j, she wanted turkey and cheese. Does this mean I am going to give her a turkey and cheese? Nope. It means that she is going to throw a fit on the kitchen floor and then in a few minutes when she realized that nothing is going to change, she will have to make a choice of whether or not to be hungry or eat the pb&j.

It worked for me growing up. My brother always got what he wants, so in his 20s he sent out a list and expected to get what he wanted. I rarely got what I wanted and so, I don't expect anything and I appreciate everything.

So yes, I can say that you will never hear me question what to do if my kid wants something that I don't want to get them. I will simply not give it to them and they will move on in their lives. They will not be scarred for life over a lack of 1 toy.

I think the point of giving someone a gift is giving something the OTHER person wants. It's not about what the giver wants to give. I got the things I asked Santa for as a child and I don't expect anything (on the contrary every year I tell my dh and family not to buy for me) and I appreciate what I have. That doesn't mean my kids get everything they want. Some things are too pricey or we don't have the room. I just simply explain that's too much and Santa has other kids to provide for or explain we don't have the room. That one special gift their eyes light up over, the one they talk incessantly about, that one they ask for first when sitting on santa's lap--they do get though because it's not all about me. it's about them. Then again I also give my kid a choice between a PB sandwich and a turkey sandwich because I listen to them and take their thoughts/feelings into consideration so I don't have meltdowns over lunch.

Right?! I can't imagine acting as controlling as @caranichole‌ is claiming to be. While there is a time for "you get what you get" I can't imagine treating my kids like they don't have preferences or their own taste. At what point are you going to "allow" them to have their own opinion?

jensriot · November 2014

lexusolsen said:

caranichole said:

@lalamama81 I didn't say my kids weren't allowed to ask for a toy. Nor did I say I'd never ask. I said that we don't make christmas/birthday lists. If we walk through a store and they see something they'd like, I make a mental note.

In re: to DH - He does not make lists either. No, I do not decide what he wants. I know him well enough to know what he would like. He couldn't care less what or if I or anyone else gave him anything. That's just how we are.

@kcisthebombdotcom
@jenriot I can absolutely say "never." I am not saying that my kids won't ever throw a fit over not getting what they want or getting something they don't want. They do it all the time. Just this afternoon the oldest threw a fit because she didn't want a pb&j, she wanted turkey and cheese. Does this mean I am going to give her a turkey and cheese? Nope. It means that she is going to throw a fit on the kitchen floor and then in a few minutes when she realized that nothing is going to change, she will have to make a choice of whether or not to be hungry or eat the pb&j.

It worked for me growing up. My brother always got what he wants, so in his 20s he sent out a list and expected to get what he wanted. I rarely got what I wanted and so, I don't expect anything and I appreciate everything.

So yes, I can say that you will never hear me question what to do if my kid wants something that I don't want to get them. I will simply not give it to them and they will move on in their lives. They will not be scarred for life over a lack of 1 toy.

I think the point of giving someone a gift is giving something the OTHER person wants. It's not about what the giver wants to give. I got the things I asked Santa for as a child and I don't expect anything (on the contrary every year I tell my dh and family not to buy for me) and I appreciate what I have. That doesn't mean my kids get everything they want. Some things are too pricey or we don't have the room. I just simply explain that's too much and Santa has other kids to provide for or explain we don't have the room. That one special gift their eyes light up over, the one they talk incessantly about, that one they ask for first when sitting on santa's lap--they do get though because it's not all about me. it's about them. Then again I also give my kid a choice between a PB sandwich and a turkey sandwich because I listen to them and take their thoughts/feelings into consideration so I don't have meltdowns over lunch.
Right?! I can't imagine acting as controlling as @caranichole‌ is claiming to be. While there is a time for "you get what you get" I can't imagine treating my kids like they don't have preferences or their own taste. At what point are you going to "allow" them to have their own opinion?

ITA. An I don't understand the list dislike. Those that just don't do lists ever, why? Im not questioning your parenting techniques, im really curious. I know my kids too, but lists are my saving grace. They give me new ideas and help me keep track of everything. When other family asks for ideas, I refer to them.

magentawarped · November 2014

This whole thread is weird. If you can afford the thing and it's the only toy they've asked for, why not get it? If they ask for something different every day, then sure, brush it off, but if they ask over and over again, then the kid has obviously invested some serious time into hoping that the thing will show up under the tree.

It's so not about you.

magentawarped · November 2014

farmrsboywife said:
I've always lived under the idea that just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

But I really don't like the "because you can you should and if you don't your cheating your kids because... Christmas". Why are your values to dictate what I should or should not do with my kids on Christmas?

Feel free to crush your kids' dreams all you want, but I'd buy the toy. Seriously, it's once a damn year and they're only little for such a short period of time.

fancynewbeesly · November 2014

Right now, one of the ONLY things Reese is asking for the holidays (we do both) is a sparkly magnifying glass from Doc McStuffins.

I asked her why she wanted it and her response was:

"so I can see the thorns to pull out of my bicycle."

I went looking for it. And of course they don't have a single magnifying glass--the only way to buy it was it being bundled with Stuffy the dragon. Except for the magnifying glass and Stuffy--she has every other piece of the set. It is 17 dollars.

Since it is really the ONLY thing she been asking for-I bought it. And it will make her day.

And in my mindset, she has been through so much at such a young age--she deserves some magic.

Knottie48097161 · November 2014

Wow this is the oddest, and one of the most controlling posts I have seen on the bump. Seriously.

My kids and husbands don't make lists because I know them so well-not only controlling but also mean. I would hate to be is a marriage that my husband doesn't listen to what I want because he "knows" me. My kids are amazing little humans it would be obnoxious to think I know them so well that they don't need or deserve lists.

I do think it's mean not to buy your kids some,thing just to teach them they don't always get what they want. Can you imagine how it would go down with adults? DH I know you want that movie for Christmas but I bought you a book because you should read more and I am trying to make a point. How freaking obnoxious! It's not okay to treat other adults like that or kids. If you can't afford something or don't have the room that is one thing, but not to buy it just because it is plastic and you don't want to is ridiculous.

kcisthebombdotcom · November 2014

farmrsboywife said:

I've always lived under the idea that just because you can, doesn't mean you should... But I really don't like the "because you can you should and if you don't your cheating your kids because... Christmas". Why are your values to dictate what I should or should not do with my kids on Christmas?

It has nothing to do with values. It has to do with the purpose of giving. If people don't want to do Christmas presents and want to spend their Christmas Day volunteering at a soup kitchen more power to them. It's a dick move to celebrate Christmas, have your kid sit on santas lap and spill their heart out only to buy them whatever you feel like getting them.

Knottie48097161 · November 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:

farmrsboywife said:

I've always lived under the idea that just because you can, doesn't mean you should... But I really don't like the "because you can you should and if you don't your cheating your kids because... Christmas". Why are your values to dictate what I should or should not do with my kids on Christmas?

It has nothing to do with values. It has to do with the purpose of giving. If people don't want to do Christmas presents and want to spend their Christmas Day volunteering at a soup kitchen more power to them. It's a dick move to celebrate Christmas, have your kid sit on santas lap and spill their heart out only to buy them whatever you feel like getting them.

Yep. I love how people turn acting like and asshole into values. NO LIST, BUY YOU WHATEVER IIIIIII WANT because values. Not so much.

Knottie48097161 · November 2014

Oh and one of the reasons my kids make lists is because I am trying to teach them the spirit of giving. A good giver takes into consideration what they receiver wants. I think it is far better to teach my kids to give in the right spirit than try to prove how well I know them.

kcisthebombdotcom · November 2014

farmrsboywife said:

farmrsboywife said:

I've always lived under the idea that just because you can, doesn't mean you should... But I really don't like the "because you can you should and if you don't your cheating your kids because... Christmas". Why are your values to dictate what I should or should not do with my kids on Christmas?

It has nothing to do with values. It has to do with the purpose of giving. If people don't want to do Christmas presents and want to spend their Christmas Day volunteering at a soup kitchen more power to them. It's a dick move to celebrate Christmas, have your kid sit on santas lap and spill their heart out only to buy them whatever you feel like getting them.
<-- probably isn't doing Santa sooooo.. Nice try... </div>

Terrific, but that doesn't apply to the situation we are all discussing here.

jensriot · November 2014

I'm not judging parents for not buying a particular toy. C wants a $300 Hello Kitty car that I've already said no to. Whatever. This attitude of I won't ask my kids what they want, I'll get them what I want them to have is bizarre to me. Like Lala said, maybe it's because your kids are younger, or maybe you have to make it all about you, I don't know. Letting your kid have an opinion doesn't turn them into jerks. Also, why not give the kid the sandwich they asked for? How will this hurt anyone?

magentawarped · November 2014

She needs credit. 8-}

Knottie48097161 · November 2014

jensriot said:

I'm not judging parents for not buying a particular toy. C wants a $300 Hello Kitty car that I've already said no to. Whatever. This attitude of I won't ask my kids what they want, I'll get them what I want them to have is bizarre to me. Like Lala said, maybe it's because your kids are younger, or maybe you have to make it all about you, I don't know. Letting your kid have an opinion doesn't turn them into jerks. Also, why not give the kid the sandwich they asked for? How will this hurt anyone?

Because obviously they need to know that the parents are the boss! Authoritative parenting for the win.

magentawarped said:

She needs credit. 8-}

Yep!!!!! You know it.

lana22 · November 2014

i did this with a few toys my nephew had on his list last year. the reviews were terrible, so i just chose to get him something else on his list (legos) that seemed more fun and that i knew he'd like.

my kids are still a little young for this stuff, but i'm mainly in the camp where i get them things i think they will like. my son has already said he wants santa to bring him train tracks (no problem!) and has looked through catalogs and pointed out some things he likes. ones that look like durable, engaging toys i will get him. ones that look like crap i will not get him.

i'd do a cost benefit analysis - if it's a v expensive toy and seems like crap, explain that the kid will not get it. if it's a cheap piece of crap that will make the kid happy on xmas morning, go for it!

rosesandpetals · November 2014

IMO half of what DH wants is stupid crap. But it doesn't matter what I think because the point of giving is to get what the other person wants.

I make a budget and say I will spend $x on DD for Christmas. If she wants a present that I think is crap, I will buy it if it is within the budget. Why not? Because it's not the best toy? Who cares, if it's what your kid wants. If you have these control issues now, I hope you're gearing up for a lifetime of stupid power struggles with your kid.

outnumbered · November 2014

caranichole said:

@lalamama81 I didn't say my kids weren't allowed to ask for a toy. Nor did I say I'd never ask. I said that we don't make christmas/birthday lists. If we walk through a store and they see something they'd like, I make a mental note.

In re: to DH - He does not make lists either. No, I do not decide what he wants. I know him well enough to know what he would like. He couldn't care less what or if I or anyone else gave him anything. That's just how we are.

@kcisthebombdotcom
@jenriot I can absolutely say "never." I am not saying that my kids won't ever throw a fit over not getting what they want or getting something they don't want. They do it all the time. Just this afternoon the oldest threw a fit because she didn't want a pb&j, she wanted turkey and cheese. Does this mean I am going to give her a turkey and cheese? Nope. It means that she is going to throw a fit on the kitchen floor and then in a few minutes when she realized that nothing is going to change, she will have to make a choice of whether or not to be hungry or eat the pb&j.

It worked for me growing up. My brother always got what he wants, so in his 20s he sent out a list and expected to get what he wanted. I rarely got what I wanted and so, I don't expect anything and I appreciate everything.

So yes, I can say that you will never hear me question what to do if my kid wants something that I don't want to get them. I will simply not give it to them and they will move on in their lives. They will not be scarred for life over a lack of 1 toy.

You had a power trip over a sandwich. I am glad I am not that kind of Mom.

Knottie48097161 · November 2014

outnumbered said:

caranichole said:

@lalamama81 I didn't say my kids weren't allowed to ask for a toy. Nor did I say I'd never ask. I said that we don't make christmas/birthday lists. If we walk through a store and they see something they'd like, I make a mental note.

In re: to DH - He does not make lists either. No, I do not decide what he wants. I know him well enough to know what he would like. He couldn't care less what or if I or anyone else gave him anything. That's just how we are.

@kcisthebombdotcom
@jenriot I can absolutely say "never." I am not saying that my kids won't ever throw a fit over not getting what they want or getting something they don't want. They do it all the time. Just this afternoon the oldest threw a fit because she didn't want a pb&j, she wanted turkey and cheese. Does this mean I am going to give her a turkey and cheese? Nope. It means that she is going to throw a fit on the kitchen floor and then in a few minutes when she realized that nothing is going to change, she will have to make a choice of whether or not to be hungry or eat the pb&j.

It worked for me growing up. My brother always got what he wants, so in his 20s he sent out a list and expected to get what he wanted. I rarely got what I wanted and so, I don't expect anything and I appreciate everything.

So yes, I can say that you will never hear me question what to do if my kid wants something that I don't want to get them. I will simply not give it to them and they will move on in their lives. They will not be scarred for life over a lack of 1 toy.

You had a power trip over a sandwich. I am glad I am not that kind of Mom.

Wouldn't it seem that if a mom knows her kids so well she doesn't asked them what they want for Christmas, she would know them well enough not to make the fucking sandwich in the first place?

Kids want crappy toys for Christmas ?

Re: Kids want crappy toys for Christmas ?

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