Biting, punching and generally being a d!ck - advice needed, please

Meggiemuggins · November 2014

Hi all,

I really need some help/advice. DSsometimes likes to be rough with me and bites, pinches, punches, etc. I tell him NO and try to remove myself from the situation, but it keeps happening. It was especially bad tonight. DH is out for a guys' night so it was just me and DS. He was an angel all night, until recently. He pulled my glasses off of me (which I HATE). Then as I was telling him NO, he poked me really hard in the eye. He then proceeded to go on a biting spree of my legs. I picked him up and moved him away from me physically, all while yelling NOOOOO. the a$$hat LAUGHED at me. Then he was behind me and bit me on the back of the leg. I moved away from him and tried not to step on him and wound up falling really hard (not ON him, thankfully). he just kept laughing. I was crying and nearly called my DH to come home, but I want to be able to handle these things on my own. I considered putting him in high high chair just to keep him from biting me, but I don't want him to see the high chair as the place he goes when he is naughty, KWIM?

I think my next step is to ignore him when he bites me. As in, giving him neither positive nor negative reactions. Hopefully that will help! He never bites or hits when he's angry, he seems to do it when he gets worked up and excited.

cinnasugar · November 2014

I have been trying time out with DS (when he was trying to climb on the stove - that one is dangerous and non-negotiable). I told him 'no' firmly, then the next time I brought him over to the stairs where we do time-out. He got up and did it again, so I brought him up to his room to his crib for time-out. I don't want him to associate his crib with time-out so I turned the lights on in his room and took the blankets/stuffed animals out so nothing was in there to play with. Eventually I want the stairs to be time- out for him, but for now it doesn't keep him contained and he doesn't understand it enough to stay there, but eventually that's the route we'll go.

colinsfebmommy · November 2014

When mine slaps or bites I say not nice and take his hand and sit him in the corner and tell him to sit down and I walk away. Usually he starts yelling out sorry. I say no and let him sit for a minute then he knows he must come over and say sorry and kiss me. Works for us

SummerLove21 · November 2014

Don't know if this will be at all helpful, but two books recommended to me were Positive Discipline and Without Spanking or Spoiling. I haven't read either yet, but thought I'd throw it out there.

DS hits my face when I put him in his car seat, and kicks me at the changing table. Our toddler teacher recommended pinning his arms down for the car seat, and changing him on the floor pinned under my leg for diaper changes - the idea being, he doesn't like either option, so he'll stop. It's working really well (although it's kind of a pain when I have to do it). Maybe an immediate time-out is called for here? We do time-outs in DS' room.

I know all of those things are normal toddler behavior, though. Wish I had better advice for you. Sorry you had a rough night. :-(

kleigh926 · November 2014

Ignoring is probably what I would try first. He might be doing it just to get a reaction out of you. Next time he does something physically harmful, calmly move out of his reach and act like it never happened. I tried ignoring DD when she started throwing things while I fed DS and it stopped almost immediately. She just wanted attention, whether it was negative or positive. If ignoring doesn't work I'd probably try time out next.

Edited because my phone is stupid.

AuntieMaimee · November 2014

Is there a chance that he's behaving this way because he's tired? My daughter can get pretty wild and a liytle aggressive when she's tired.

holly321 · November 2014

AuntieMaimee said:
Is there a chance that he's behaving this way because he's tired? My daughter can get pretty wild and a liytle aggressive when she's tired.

My ds gets extremely naughty when he is tired. Dd used to just get fussy. But he bites and throws things.

I agree with simply trying to just ignore it a few times.

Rosebean · November 2014

I'm team timeout, but that's because it works for us. He's laughing because your reaction is fun to him, and because he's still engaging with you, even when you walk away. Do you have a spot, devoid of toys where he can't keep following you? Like maybe a play pen. You need to be able to put him in a spot where it's no longer fun for him. And I know he's enjoying the engagement, so unless he respects a timeout spot without being pinned down, a play pen would suit nicely.

I know Kleigh mentioned ignoring,especially for throwing, but that never worked for us. DS just loves to plain ole throw things. So he has "throwables" that he is allowed to throw... Soft things and soft balls. But if it's hard and he's not listening, it gets taken away, followed by a timeout if he continues the behaviour. And if he comes out of timeout and continues the behaviour, it's right back to timeout. He usually gets it, and sometimes now all it takes is a warning. He threw a book at DD (not intentionally at her), but because it was after I had asked him to stop, he was in timeout...

Dr. Phil says that kids have to predict, with 100% accuracy, the consequences of their behaviour. Learn his currency. If sitting away from you, unenegaged and stuck in a playpen where it's boring for a couple of minutes, I think that's a good start. Because he isn't getting what he wants and you are enforcing what you said to him. Right now, he's calling your bluff.

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