Any FFFC?

Keeptruckin · November 2014

Anyone got anything? Only thing I got is that I am seeing the movie John Wick tonight because Keanu Reeves still has got it going on! I'm sure I will think of so etching more flameful. Wait, I thought of one. The photographer who took our family pics last week is insanely hot. I realize he is editing our pics now and will likely be going through lots of me closing my eyes, looking weird, etc and I am gringing. DH even was all, what is up with that guy? The accent, the photography, the looks!

SouthernAcorn · November 2014

I'm at least 5-10 years younger than most of the moms of the other students in my daughter's kindergarten class. While part of me secretly relishes in it,

the other part of me feels the need to overcompensate and be as put together as possible lest I be judged for my youth.

And I also have to stop myself from calling them ma'am out of habit because that would be awkward since I think we might be peers.

edit=gif fail

L-)

Keeptruckin · November 2014

When I encounter a mon who had kids in her twenties I am always shocked lol! I mean, I know it's normal and average. I just couldn't have imagined it for myself and when I had my daughter at 31 I was my doctors youngest patient by 5 years. I don't know a single person who had kids in their twenties, isn't that odd?

hlm184 · November 2014

I hate gifs.

I am a gif-hater.

Also, I've been listening to Christmas music for three weeks now.

SouthernAcorn · November 2014

But gifs give you

caranichole · November 2014

Keeptruckin said:

When I encounter a mon who had kids in her twenties I am always shocked lol! I mean, I know it's normal and average. I just couldn't have imagined it for myself and when I had my daughter at 31 I was my doctors youngest patient by 5 years. I don't know a single person who had kids in their twenties, isn't that odd?

Really? May I ask where you are from region wise?

I was talking to a friend semi-recently about this. He thinks there's a regional mentality that goes along with that. I got married at 22. Currently I am 26 and have three kids and I want to have 3 more by 30. He says it's a southern thing. I have several girlfriends from my hometown,childhood, etc. who are engaged/married, have or having kids right now in their 20s. I'm just curious if his theory lines up.

Keeptruckin · November 2014

I think it's partly regional and partly my generation maybe? I live in a very high cost city, it usually is in the top two in Canada for cost of living. A starter home is half a million. It's almost impossible to be a stay at home parent. So a lot of people work first and get established. By then you are in your thirties.

SouthernAcorn · November 2014

I think there is definitely a regional correlation. I'm originally from the North. Most of my friends from that area aren't even in serious relationships, let alone anywhere close to getting married or having kids. After moving to the South for school, I found that it was perceived to be much more acceptable to get engaged to your high school or college sweetheart before even graduating. And though there are a lot of people that also have children young, many of my friends have decided to wait until they are in a more stable place even if they are already married.
I never thought of having children as early as I have, but when I got pregnant with C I was 18 and invincible. Now I personally can't imagine having children in my thirties, but it is more because of the large age gap it would create between my kids more than anything.

caranichole · November 2014

BubblesMartin said:

SouthernAcorn said:

I'm at least 5-10 years younger than most of the moms of the other students in my daughter's kindergarten class. While part of me secretly relishes in it,

the other part of me feels the need to overcompensate and be as put together as possible lest I be judged for my youth.

And I also have to stop myself from calling them ma'am out of habit because that would be awkward since I think we might be peers.

edit=gif fail
L-)

You're not a bragplaint or anything. 8-|

I've never once thought "OMG that mom is so much more experienced because she's 10 years older than me but we have kids THE SAME AGE!!!!1!1! ELEVENTY!!!!" or "OMG, that mom is so hot and young - I'm so jealous."

I mean, really?

I have overheard several moms express judgement towards other moms and their ages. When I was in elm. school there was a group of moms who would make snarky comments about another mom who was younger, pretty and considered "cool" by all of us kids.

SouthernAcorn · November 2014

First off, I have unfortunately been the recipient of negative feedback towards my parenting abilities, simply due to my age. Did I make the best choices when I was 18? No, but that doesn't mean I am incapable of doing so. If anything, other people's judgement has made me work harder to be the best mom I can. Having children in your teens can be a death sentence for some people and I refused to be just another statistic. I paid my own way through a college that was across the country from any of my family. I maintained a high GPA while working part time and raising my daughter. Her father and I are now happily married and living a comfortable life. I also took control of my reproductive health and didn't get pregnant again until I was ready.

Secondly, I come from an older family with a shitty medical history. I've seen the worst of what getting older can do to people and it doesn't look very appealing to me. I do everything in my power to to maintain a lifestyle that will keep me from experiencing many of the ailments of my relatives, but I know there is no fighting genetics. It's a vain fear, I know. Just excuse me while I revel in my youth and health while I still have them.

So I'm going to be proud of what I am and what I have in this moment. Have a super day!

monkeybutt61612 · November 2014

I feel like the other moms at preschool look more like moms than I do. They are dressed appropriately and seem more put together, while I have my hair in a messy bun, the same jeans/jacket everyday and flip flops. I'm jealous.

caranichole · November 2014

@southernacorn I hear you on all of that!

Keeptruckin · November 2014

At my daughters school there are also a lot of moms who had their first at 30-35 and then are pregnant again at 40-45. We even have some who are having baby 3 or 4 in their late 40s. I mean I wish it hadn't taken 10 years and 60,000 dollars to get DD but it is what it is. I also think kids keep you young, and let's face it it all levels out, the ones who have kids young get to enjoy their middle age and the older parents stay young because of their kids and maybe have careers settled.

Keeptruckin · November 2014

lostinfaith225 said:

I recently befriended 2 moms who are getting ready to turn 28. They were shocked when they heard I am 32 and dh is turning 35 next month. We just had our 1st.

I befriended a mom, and at our first play date I innocently asked if she was one and done or thinking of more kiddos? She laughed and said at 49 she was done. I was shocked, I thought she was 35 maybe! I think she may have had some work done but looks fabulous!

ashaw512 · November 2014

I don't know about regional bc I have family in the North that had their children in their twenties, but I do think it's a generation thing. I got married at twenty and had my first the same yr. I'm 22 and just had my second baby. My mom had my brother when she was 30 and I thought that was old but of course I was 11, all her friends had kids that were my age. In the south you don't see too many women over 30 having their 1st baby (not speaking for all southern states, just specifically my area)

NicoleWI · November 2014

You can Google the demographics of birth. Generally, larger cities/northeast=later birth. It's also maybe specific to your social group. We had our first when I was 34, and many of our friends had their first AFTER us. I knew very few people at work or socially who had kids in their early twenties. I wish DH and I had gotten our act together a couple years earlier and started having kids, as personally I wish we were a few years younger, but we were still ahead of many of our peers. I think part of the reason it took us so long is that there was no social pressure to move into the family zone! Here are some nice stats for you all:

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db21.htm

Keeptruckin · November 2014

Here in Canada the average age of first time mom is 29.

Samuelismomma · November 2014

My opinion is people get judged having kids older too. I have heard moms in teens and twenties calling moms in their mid 30's to 40's old, grandma, they will die before kid is grown, etc..the disrespect and mean comments go both ways I feel. Women are hard on other women. I feel have them when your ready and can provide a good life. I think we are all trying to be good moms;)

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