Desperately need baby sleep help! — The Bump

Desperately need baby sleep help!

Sorry in advance for the long email. I think my sleep deprivation has reached an all time high and i'm desperate for some help!

So I ignored my pediatrician's warnings and nurse LO to sleep. At first, he would fall asleep nursing, and then i'd carefully  move him to his crib and more often than not, he'd stay asleep and let me sleep for 2-4 hours. 

He's now 8.5 months and he will no longer sleep anywhere but in my arms or int he bed next to me. The second i move him, or my husband takes him from my arms, he wakes up and freaks out. We've tried letting him sleep in a cradle swing, we've tried staying next to him, we've tried talking to him, carressing him, warming up his matress with a heating pad before putting him down (obviously removing the heating pad before putting him in his crib) etc. It doesn't seem to help.

He and I seem to have a symbiotic relationship ... If he can see, hear, or smell me, he wants only me. Don't get me wrong, I love the look in his eyes when he spots me, or the way he calls for me, but i need some sleep and I don't sleep with him in our bed. I'm the type that likes to be praticaly under the blankets so sleeping with the blankets on just my feet, or not at all, just doesn't work. And then of course, there's the no pillow thing... I can only sleep without a pillow if i'm on my stomach and i can't do that with him in our bed. 

I really need some advice and i'm posting it here because I suspect he's like this because of our BF relationship.

Any suggestions? I need sleep! 3-4 hours a night of inremental sleep just isn't working.

Thank you!!
Rachel (a.k.a. The Analytical and @analyticalmommy on IG)
I'm just trying to make sense of things :-) 

Re: Desperately need baby sleep help!

  • Whew, ok! First, breathe. There really isn't anything wrong with letting a baby nurse to sleep! Particularly when it does work so well!

    Now that it's not working so well for you, you can reassess! No harm, no foul. Have you read No Cry Sleep Solution? It has some tips for gently helping kiddos fall asleep after nursing (instead of during it). It isn't a quick solution, though.

    Also! For us, months 8 and 9 were one long hideous blur of teething and sleep regression. Is he teething?

    See if you can solve any physical discomfort, and then try working towards slightly longer sleep stretches (I liked NCSS a lot, but it worked better for us at 10/11m than it did at 8/9, just as a caution).

    Hugs, mama.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    [Deleted User]sweet*18Soon2BMrsN
  • No advice just support. Hang in there.
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  • teedaaleeteedaalee
    10 Comments Photogenic 5 Love Its
    edited October 2014

    Aww, momma I’m sorry you’re so tired! It sounds like your baby really loves you ;). Most research indicates that getting children on a sleep regimen earlier is typically the more favorable solution. But getting your child on a sleep regimen is still possible, so hang in there! Have you considered speaking to your pediatrician about what kind of sleeping patterns he should have at this stage? Maybe consider sitting down with your hubby once you have that information and form some type of plan for how to follow through with that. It might be extremely difficult at first but I have faith you guys can do it! Wish you well!


  • Thanks for all the support!

    Thank you all for the support! We've tried a few of the no cry sleep strategies but so far none have worked. Teething is probably part of it but we've tried giving him the teething tablets and even tylenol with no change in his crying. I got frustrated last night and left him in his bed crying not really intending to CIO. I figured I'd put my PJ's on and brush my teeth and then pick him up again and when i got back... he was asleep! and then he only woke up once in the middle of the night and only wimpered for a minute when i put him back down after his MOTN nursing. 

    No idea how things will play out again tonight because I'm not sure I want to do CIO but at least I can be thankful for one night of sleep!

    What are your sleep routines? The latest i've tried is nurse, bath, massage, nurse, bed. I haven't had much luck after doing that for a week. Any suggestions?

    Rachel (a.k.a. The Analytical and @analyticalmommy on IG)
    I'm just trying to make sense of things :-) 
  • No advice but just wanted to say thanks for posting! This is almost exactly us! Its good to know I'm not alone.

    We are waiting on our copy of the sleep lady's good night sleep tight.

    Fingers crossed tonight goes well for you!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic     Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Patrick: born at home on January 14, 2014

  • Hi painttheair14, We reached our breaking point a few days ago and i stepped away to get ready for bed and let him cry. I didn't intend to really do CIO (as in an hour+ of crying etc). Just needed a minute to myself. Well, a few minutes later, I came back to find him asleep! We've been letting him do that every night since and he only cries for 3-4 minutes before going to sleep. He also only wakes up once a night now vs every couple of hours. He's definitely happier so i'm glad that worked out and that i didn't have to do true CIO. Everything else we'd tried didn't work. 

    I didn't read that book though... in any case, gl!!
    Rachel (a.k.a. The Analytical and @analyticalmommy on IG)
    I'm just trying to make sense of things :-) 
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