April 2014 Moms

High Needs?

Hi! I am an occasional poster with a question. I'm really just looking to see if anyone else is going through this and has any encouraging words. I have an adorable 6 and a half month old boy. I have heard people posting about high needs babies and I think that this fits him. Ever since he was born he cried all day long and would wake up all night long with ear piercing screams. I kept thinking this would go away as he got older and got more mobile. Well here we are at 6 months and no change. He can't be left alone to play for more than 1 minute. He screams an ear piercing scream. I can't travel anywhere with him because if he is in his car seat for more than 5 minutes he absolutely loses his mind. People have told me that they have never seen a baby scream like him. I can handle it. If I am home with him I basically have just learned that nothing will get accomplished and I play/hold him all day and we are OK. Unfortunately my husband has more trouble with this. He feels that he is almost 7 months old and should be able to play alone for small amounts of time and not cry ALL day. I just don't know what to do? I have brought him to the dr. many times and it doesn't appear that he is crying because anything is physically wrong but I can't help worry something is wrong. Anyone else going through this?

Re: High Needs?

  • No gas? Constipation? Food intolerances? DS was like that, but has since gotten better.

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  • Yup, I've got one of those. My DD was the same way. He can play independently for short periods of time though (5 min?) before he starts to fuss, then cry, then scream. It's definitely worse when he's overly tired, which is quite often. If the pedi isn't worried (as mine is not either) it probably is just his personality beginning to emerge. I would try giving him more opportunities to be on his own, as hard as it may be, increasing the amount of time each day. I'm trying to be better about this, too, because otherwise nothing else gets done. Good luck -- you're not alone!
  • My DS (7.5 months) is very clingy and rarely fusses, but when he does it tends to go from happy to freak out. I have managed to get him where he's comfortable playing for short periods if I'm in a different room, the key is to distract him with his favorite toys. And only in the past month has he been able to go in the car seat without me sitting back there with him. With the car seat, I have no clue what changed, but all the sudden one day I tried it on a short trip and it worked, and then I tried longer trips and it worked. So that may be a time thing. 
    ~Chrissy 

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  • Thanks Ladies! Sometimes it just feels good to hear you are not alone. I feel like I try to let him play alone for longer times (more than 2 or 3 minutes - LOL) but his unhappiness escalates so quickly. If I don't get to him in 2 minutes he is screaming and then I spend more time trying to calm him down. He did have reflux issues when he was younger but they seemed to calm down.
  • DD1 was like that. I found that using a particular phrase or singing a particular song made transitions smoother and she knew what to expect next. We have a song for when it's bath time, a pooping on the toilet song, and phrase for when I was about to pick her up, and I'd play the same music on her sound machine for play time in her crib. To get her to start playing on her own, I'd to put her and a few toys in her crib with the music playing, and I'd fold laundry next to her. Each day, I'd leave the room for a minute, then 2, etc. She is still very cautious at nearly 4 years, but having a routine and prepping her for upcoming events really helps. Also, quiet time in her room a few times each day helps her decompress.
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