Asking friends/family to be god parents...

mali3 · November 2014

Just curious when everyone is asking their picks to be god parents? We have decided who we want to ask, but haven't asked quite yet. When do you plan on doing it? And do you plan on doing something fun/unique to ask them or you just going to flat out ask?

lorifromwi · November 2014

We've talked a lot about the who, but less about the timing. I'm guessing we will ask once the little man is born, maybe at the hosiptal (assuming they visit).

AF9211 · November 2014

We made a personalized Christmas ornament for BIL & SIL from the baby asking them to be her Godparents. We will give it to them as part of their Christmas gift this year.

jennjilljo · November 2014

I mentioned off hand to my BIL's fiance that we would like them to be god parents and he seemed touched at the thought so we asked them.

AF9211 · November 2014

Thanks @kkleigh10! Super easy & cheap (& cute!) from Personalization Mall...

I don't think there's a set time to ask. We already know we want DH's brother & his wife to be this LO's godparents, so we figured we'd just ask at Christmas. With DD1, we asked after we were positive we were going to baptize her Catholic and had the details ironed out with the Church...maybe 3 months before the baptism date (she was almost 8 months when she was finally baptized lol).

kefttsc · November 2014

We haven't finalized who we would like to ask because we are torn between sticking with family (my sister and BIL) or going with close friends.
We will probably ask them fairly informally, but I really like the Christmas ornament idea!

mali3 · November 2014

Xmas ornament is cute! We already have our baptism date set (2/15), so maybe Xmas will be a good idea!

MissEm15 · November 2014

kefttsc said:
We haven't finalized who we would like to ask because we are torn between sticking with family (my sister and BIL) or going with close friends.
We will probably ask them fairly informally, but I really like the Christmas ornament idea!

@kefttsc are you giving each baby their own god parents or sharing?

kefttsc · November 2014

MissEm15 said:

kefttsc said:
We haven't finalized who we would like to ask because we are torn between sticking with family (my sister and BIL) or going with close friends.
We will probably ask them fairly informally, but I really like the Christmas ornament idea!
@kefttsc are you giving each baby their own god parents or sharing?

Oh hell! I hadn't even though of that. Maybe we need two sets because of two babies. But I can't imagine telling my sister that she's only Harper's godmother and not William's. I'd probably just have two sets for the babies together.

Maybe that solved it.......

Irishcurls · November 2014

My DH actually plans to ask his brother this weekend when we see them in person, but it's mostly because logistically to be there for the baptism is going to take some work. I don't plan to ask my friend until baby is here.

Dannylion24 · November 2014

I have 3 godchildren and I've always been asked after the baby is born and it has always been informal, but in person. We do the same ... My DH actually won't even make the decision on who they will be until after our babes are here.

wintersong139 · November 2014

Here's a related question: how have you approach someone about becoming guardians of your kids if something happens to you? (Sometimes this is implied with being a godparent, sometimes not.) We are making a will soon, and we feel pretty strongly that we want someone from our family who shares our same beliefs and lifestyles, and who would not be overburdened financially, to take our kids if anything were to happen. This means that we are reaching out to a cousin and her husband--all of our sibling are very different from us, and some have very different belief systems. (Don't get me wrong, we love them and get along, but when it comes to raising our kids I think we would want someone who shares the same convictions as us.) So, I guess that question is, how have you approached people about this question? Any advice?

crystalw88 · November 2014

So, I was raised Catholic and def. understand god parents but now I'm nondenominational (not to get all religious up in here) but what do you call them then? Same thing? Also, we don't do water baptisms until we're older, we do baby dedications. I think we're asking DH's sister and her husband to be god parents and just leaving it unofficial.

Irishcurls · November 2014

@wintersong139 this brought up the SAME concerns for DH and I. He also thought that Godparents were legal guardians until I explained the difference (though I think at least one of mine was both but not a requirement). I honestly don't know.....we're still deciding who to choose, and want to do a little more discussing before we do anything. But I think you just sit them down (call them up) and say you know it's a big decision and you hope to never need it, but you really feel that they are the best fit to take your place in the event that something terrible happens. I would tell them they don't need to decide right away, but that you and DH have thought a lot about it and would really like to name them as guardians. It's an odd conversation for sure. And pretty shitty to think about but it has to be done.

Dovetailing, anyone choosing own their parents as guardians? DH mentioned it since we're not sure about siblings and I said I wasn't that comfortable with it, because the whole point is to be around to be a guardian until they're 18....and as parents age....I don't know. Is this a silly concern?

kefttsc · November 2014

Irishcurls said:
@wintersong139 this brought up the SAME concerns for DH and I. He also thought that Godparents were legal guardians until I explained the difference (though I think at least one of mine was both but not a requirement). I honestly don't know.....we're still deciding who to choose, and want to do a little more discussing before we do anything. But I think you just sit them down (call them up) and say you know it's a big decision and you hope to never need it, but you really feel that they are the best fit to take your place in the event that something terrible happens. I would tell them they don't need to decide right away, but that you and DH have thought a lot about it and would really like to name them as guardians. It's an odd conversation for sure. And pretty shitty to think about but it has to be done.

Dovetailing, anyone choosing own their parents as guardians? DH mentioned it since we're not sure about siblings and I said I wasn't that comfortable with it, because the whole point is to be around to be a guardian until they're 18....and as parents age....I don't know. Is this a silly concern?

We both have older parents so would never consider naming them guardians. My mother and father are 65 and 72 and his mom and stepdad are 72 and 83. None are in perfect health.

Irishcurls · November 2014

kefttsc said:

@wintersong139 this brought up the SAME concerns for DH and I. He also thought that Godparents were legal guardians until I explained the difference (though I think at least one of mine was both but not a requirement). I honestly don't know.....we're still deciding who to choose, and want to do a little more discussing before we do anything. But I think you just sit them down (call them up) and say you know it's a big decision and you hope to never need it, but you really feel that they are the best fit to take your place in the event that something terrible happens. I would tell them they don't need to decide right away, but that you and DH have thought a lot about it and would really like to name them as guardians. It's an odd conversation for sure. And pretty shitty to think about but it has to be done.

Dovetailing, anyone choosing own their parents as guardians? DH mentioned it since we're not sure about siblings and I said I wasn't that comfortable with it, because the whole point is to be around to be a guardian until they're 18....and as parents age....I don't know. Is this a silly concern?
We both have older parents so would never consider naming them guardians. My mother and father are 65 and 72 and his mom and stepdad are 72 and 83. None are in perfect health.

Yeah my ILs are 60 and 62? So younger-ish but I'm not 100% comfortable with it, especially if in 10 years we have to remember to change our will if something happens to *them* kwim? But I don't know if that's just me being strange.

jaztastic · November 2014

I have 7 official godchildren (and 1 that I adopted for a total of 8) ... All but 2 I was asked before birth, and 3 of the 7 did something special to ask.

For Dolce we have 2 godmothers and 2 godfathers possibilities. One set is married and we asked them to be godparents back in 2011 when we started fertility treatments. We took them out to dinner and asked them over dessert. The other set (not married) is just a really good friend of mine and a really good friend of DH. I found a poem online that was so cute that is from the child asking the godparents. (see link) Im going to tweak it a little and have it presented at the baby gala right before I do the name announcement.

I take the role of godparent very seriously, and maybe a little more intense than others do. So when thinking about the people I wanted to ask for Dolce, I used the same model godparent I am. To me they are meant to be an extra set of parents. Moreso to help nurture and guide them through life morally (and spiritually if you are religious). I also feel its to be an extra set of helping hands. Not so much someone who buys a bunch of gifts at holidays (although I do tend to go nuts doing that), but check up on them and their school grades. Be a relief to the parents on those days when they need a break. And still be another "mom & dad" should something happen to DH and I, not a guardian per se... but still very actively present.

I make weekends with my godchildren about 3-4 times a year. I take them on trips. I throw them holiday (Halloween, Easter, Valentines) parties and sleepovers at my house. Im present for school functions. Ive attended back to school nights. Ive enrolled them in various programs like karate or dance class. Ive helped parents with daycare costs when finances were tight. Im like an on-call sitter.

So for me godparent is not just my best friend or someone that thinks they should have a special title. Its someone that I know will take interest in my child as if they were their own. Someone where if need be, would and could step in as guardian.

mahalo3 · November 2014

@jaztastic, You sound like a phenomenal Godparent! All of your Godchildren are very blessed to have you take such an active roll in their lives. I want you to be my Godparent!

@wintersong139 We have discussed who will take our kids if something happens to us. We have decided it will be my husband's brother and wife. We haven't told them yet though. I think soon after we have our baby, we will get with my husband's family lawyer to do a will and go over this officially. We know they can financially support our kids if needed, and they are the closest to being like us (age, life style)

jaztastic · November 2014

mahalo3 said:

@jaztastic, You sound like a phenomenal Godparent! All of your Godchildren are very blessed to have you take such an active roll in their lives. I want you to be my Godparent!

@wintersong139 We have discussed who will take our kids if something happens to us. We have decided it will be my husband's brother and wife. We haven't told them yet though. I think soon after we have our baby, we will get with my husband's family lawyer to do a will and go over this officially. We know they can financially support our kids if needed, and they are the closest to being like us (age, life style)

THANKS... I have a big heart and a soft spot for little people.

jennjilljo · November 2014

I see godparents the same way @jaztastic. So my BILs are not only godparents but also to step in a legal guardians if the need should arise.

mali3 · November 2014

Our childrens godparents are not the ones we would have as legal gaurdians if we were to pass away. The actual intent of a godparent is to show the child the way of the lord throughout their life. However, we are NOT super religous, so we kind of look at the whole godparent thing as we love you as a family member and want you to be a special part of their life and have this title. But we are catholic, so each of our children do have catholic godparents.

AshleySparkle720 · November 2014

@jaztastic this is how I feel as well. I have 3 godchildren and have taken them in at various times. I am always there for big moments and events. Any time their parent couldn't go to something I always step in to show my support. I really wanted whoever DH and I chose to feel the same way about being godparents since it is such an important role to leave someone with. Someone who is going to accept my child as their own and bring them up in a way that DH and I would have wanted if something was to happen.

wirtlehm · November 2014

Related Question: My SIL chose my MIL and FIL to be all 3 of her children's godparents. I don't have any intention of doing that AT ALL but I was thinking about choosing 1 member of my family and 1 member of DHs family as godparents. Is this "against the rules". I think my ILs are under the impression that the couple should be "married" but my godparents weren't married (NOR were they EVER in a relationship) and I'm pretty sure none of my 5 siblings godparents are related either.

AshleySparkle720 · November 2014

@wirtlehm I think that's fine as long you're comfortable. Ultimately it's a matter of maintaining good role models in their life and if you want two separate people than that is completely up to you

MichaelaMTP · November 2014

We discussed a lot about who and asked very casually. We asked our friend over dinner and my brother when he came over. We will give them gifts at the baptism. We asked them over thr summer.

CatLadyTX · November 2014

We have known who our kids godparents would be before we were pregnant with each of them. When we found out we were expecting, they were among the few people we told right away, and we asked them at that time.

Want a personalized experience?

Asking friends/family to be god parents...

Re: Asking friends/family to be god parents...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards