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January 2015 Moms
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Resources for DH: Natural birthing

ourlilPourlilP member
in January 2015 Moms
I'm having a CNM at a hospital and would like to labor naturally as long as I can, hopefully thru birth. My DH has three kids with his ex and all three births had complications. This is my first pregnancy and I feel DH is unsupportive of my desire to birth naturally. Of course, I'm anxious about the birth and not sure I can do it without him being on board. Can anyone recommend a book, website, etc that we could go thru together to help prepare us both?
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Re: Resources for DH: Natural birthing

  • Trek3Trek3 member
    I don't know about resources specifically for DH - maybe ask your midwife? 

    I have done it twice, you can too :)
    DD#1 (6), DD#2 (4), DD#3 (0)
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  • susannahbrynnsusannahbrynn member
    My H wasn't totally convinced at first, but we've been taking Bradley classes and it's helped. I also got him a couple of books (that he only skimmed through). I think the most helpful was telling him why I wanted natural birth. Things like pain meds and the baby, being able to breastfeed immediately, health of mother and baby, etc. When he knew why, he was more on board, and now he's ready to coach! We're both FTParents, so he's cutely nervous about being a good dad. I think he feels this is a way he can help keep me and baby safe, to know all the information. And that's really what we wanted from our birth classes.
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  • BookitBooBookitBoo member
    I was lucky in that my husband didn't care how I wanted to give birth as long as it was a safe option for both baby and I. So no birthing in the Gulf of Mexico with the sharks or in a snake pit.

    Your doctor can probably recommend some other good curriculum, but I think the ladies here have been really helpful with book recommendations and classes. Good luck with your plans for a vaginal birth, I hope that your husband is able to support you and your decision!
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  • tdegarmo1tdegarmo1 member
    I'm currently taking Bradley classes and they recommended Natrual Childbirth the Bradley Way and I've found it helpful to reiterate points made in class.
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  • MichaelSC28MichaelSC28 member
    My DH has not had the same experiences but he is worried about the pain and difficulty for me. We actually decided on having a Doula and. She has been a big help in reassuring him due to her knowledge and exp.
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • brickcitylovebrickcitylove member
    We are doing the Bradley Classes. Just started but I hope they will prepare both of us. I brought home a bunch of books from the library. Husband Coached Childbirth and the Birth Partner for SO, 2 of Ina May Gaskin's books for me (along with a bunch of others I haven't read yet). I thought Ina May's Guide to Childbirth was fantastic. Being prepared mentally & physically is really important to me.
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  • sunnysunsunsunnysunsun member
    The booked called Pushed! soooo good!
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • emilyp2013emilyp2013 member
    @emmyg65‌ , I have hired a doula. :-) She should be able to help him help me. I am also going to go over my birth plan-ish thing with him, of course. I'm also gonna go over what to expect (stages of labor, gist of my coping techniques, when we go to hospital, how to get to hospital, where to go at hospital, etc.). So, he will be as prepared as he can be for only having three weeks, but happily he will have someone there who knows exactly what's going on and can step him through it if he gets lost.
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  • BigbonededBigboneded member
    My DH is an OB nurse. He scoffs at all my decisions. Refuses to consider a doula, "They arent necessary, thats what the father does...." laughs at my desire to avoid an epidural, "everyone who says they wont get one, does". Stated that everyone present for the conception could be at the delivery.... period. I reminded him we didnt have a medical team in the room, and he called me obtuse.....

    So I already know I get to make the decisions if I'm conscious and I reminded him that I can kick his ass out if he pisses me off, that seemed to make an impression :-)

    Mine wont learn, he already knows everything. Good luck with yours. Mine reads voraciously. ... but not what I ask him to, just a shit ton of library fiction.....
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • MichaelSC28MichaelSC28 member
    Bigboneded said:

    My DH is an OB nurse. He scoffs at all my decisions. Refuses to consider a doula, "They arent necessary, thats what the father does...." laughs at my desire to avoid an epidural, "everyone who says they wont get one, does". Stated that everyone present for the conception could be at the delivery.... period. I reminded him we didnt have a medical team in the room, and he called me obtuse.....

    So I already know I get to make the decisions if I'm conscious and I reminded him that I can kick his ass out if he pisses me off, that seemed to make an impression :-)

    Mine wont learn, he already knows everything. Good luck with yours. Mine reads voraciously. ... but not what I ask him to, just a shit ton of library fiction.....

    Oh no! I thought mine was bad...ugh my hubby is not in the medical field but is that research/devils advocate/skeptical nay sayer. I am trying to be patient with him but it got heated a couple nights ago and I lost it. I told him he wants to be supportive shut up and just be there. He finally retired his soapbox and realized he was being a twat. I am very happy with having a doula she handles me and him well. I do feel that day of labor is going to be interesting...at best.
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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