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February 2013 Moms
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**Bump for opinions** Epic Tantrums

tamarar5tamarar5 member
edited November 2014 in February 2013 Moms

I know that two is a trying age, and I know tantrums are to be expected. Normally they don't bother me too much.

Today. O.M.G. today. We just had a 46 minute screaming, kicking, flopping on the ground tantrum. My ears feel like someone has driven stakes through my brain.  Even more, these super long tantrums seem to be happening with more and more frequency. Please tell me that someone has some insight on how to end things like this? Distraction, diversion, and crib time have not worked. If anything, these attempts make his tantrums worse. (FTR, I do crib time when I just cannot handle the screaming any longer-- he's safe and contained and I get my mommy breather to keep my sanity).

**Question** So, after posting this the other day, I started really watching the tantrums. These epic battles seem to happen only when I take paci away. What do I do? Continue keeping paci only for bed? Let him get it when he needs?
                We're Going to be a Family of 5!

Lilypie - (PaHE) Lilypie - (4noI)

                               Lilypie - (2q9u)


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Re: **Bump for opinions** Epic Tantrums

  • Puck1182Puck1182 member
    If we're home I usually just go sit down with DD's books or toys and start reading or playing. When she realizes she isn't going to get whatever she wants, she decides to come over and join me. We've had some major meltdowns cut short by that technique, but it isn't foolproof. Sometimes we just have to ride out a long tantrum. DD is sensitive and stubborn, which can be a challenging combination at times. I've noticed that tantrums are way worse and more easily provoked if she's hungry. Somehow I'm not surprised that my kid's mood revolves almost entirely around whether she has stuffed her face recently!


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  • kelly321kelly321 member
    Thankfully DD2's haven't been that long yet, but this noon she once again went off for absolutely no reason whatsoever (well, ok, the trigger was that after daycare I brought her in the house for lunch instead of letting her stand outside in the rain). I first try to soothe and then walk away, do what I need to do (make lunch, in this case) and just check on her occasionally. I'm at a loss as to what else I could do. With DD1 we've gotten to a point where about 50% of the time we can say (gently- it's not supposed to be a punishment), "Do you need to go to your room to settle down?" and she says yes and goes on her own and comes back down when she's calm. Actually, a few times she's even said it herself through her tears, "Mama, I need to go up to my roooooooooom". That's my goal with DD2, as well.

    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

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  • mishka29mishka29 member
    Ugh that sounds stressful! When DD throws her fits now she actually pauses looks for a good place to flop down, runs there, drops to the knees, then lays flat. It's becoming quiet comical.
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  • ally2011ally2011 member
    I am sure you have tried this, but what happens if you just walk away?  

    We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013.  We love her to pieces.  

    We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011.  She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.


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  • tamarar5tamarar5 member
    @ally2011‌ when I walk away, he follows me and continues to tantrum where I stop. If I shut a door, then he throws himself at the door and continues scream.

                    We're Going to be a Family of 5!

    Lilypie - (PaHE) Lilypie - (4noI)

                                   Lilypie - (2q9u)


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  • ally2011ally2011 member
    byebyebooze said:
    DD loves her paci too. We also do it only for sleeping and she is not allowed to have it outside of her crib. I usually phrase things like "do you want to put your binkie and lovie away and get breakfast/snack, play with X, etc". She can say no and stay in her crib with her paci for a bit, but she eventually gets hungry or bored and puts them away so she can get out. Can you try something like that?
    This is similar to us.  I would agree with trying to give him the option of keeping the paci but having to stay in the crib with it.  It is a security and comfort thing for him, so you could also work on finding something else to fill that need.

    We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013.  We love her to pieces.  

    We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011.  She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.


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  • fignewt74fignewt74 member

    I would probably just let him have the paci.  DS2 only has it for sleep also, but he really does use it to soothe himself, so in that case I think I would let him have it.

    Also, I do similar to @kelly123.  I try to soothe and walk away, but keep checking periodically and offering a hug if he is ready.  I also love Kelly's idea of using the room as an option, not as a punishment :)

     




     

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    "You reach deeper until you can find the strength.  That's all life is, one big fight after another."

    Angel babies: 9/19/07, 10/08/09, 1/05/11

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