So incredibly sad (BFN mentioned)

Officerofthelaw · November 2014

Today was my beta and I'm not pregnant. I cried all day and I'm not a crier. Later this month will be my 5th IUI! I am so sad right now. I don't know how much more of this pain I can go through. Our plan is to try a medicated IuI this month and if it doesn't take, I will give myself Decemeber off and jump back on it in Janurary with Injectibles. Although I have a plan, the BFN is heartbreaking. It hurts. I am constantly going to calls(at work) where the parents should not be parents especially when people who deserve to have kids and can't. I don't even know what else to say.
I wish everyone else luck.

2MamazInSeattle · November 2014

I'm so sorry. BFNs are crushing.

Jazibel · November 2014

Ugh

So sorry. I hope this is the last one you experience.

ATXmommas · November 2014

I'm really sorry. Like @jazibel said, I hope this is the last one for you.

KH826 · November 2014

BFNs are hard. Really hard. Most of us have been there... several times.

I remember after my 4th failed IUI, that is when I started to think "Is there something wrong with me?" ... "Is this never going to happen?"... Now I think back to that and I feel silly for feeling that way. Hind sight is 20/20. Experience gives you perspective. Anyway, I do remember what it was like to be in the middle of it and feel that way. However, the only way out is through, and you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other with this journey. Everyone's journey is different. It is remarkably easy for some, and remarkably difficult for others. It is not fair.

I have found, in my own experience, that being empowered with knowledge helped tremendously. Feeling like I was sharing the decision making with my RE, and that I knew enough to have an intelligent conversation and ask the right questions was huge. It gave me some control back in a situation where I felt completely helpless. So, if you don't mind, let me ask you some questions...

*You are with a RE, right? Have you had an HSG? Any other testing?

*You have been unmedicated up to this point, correct? Have you been monitored at all? Do you know how many follicles and the size of the follicles you have had prior to each IUI?

*How are you tracking ovulation? Have you felt comfortable with the timing? Are you open to using the trigger shot in future cycles?

For us, we "threw the kitchen sink at it" as a wise fellow bumpie once said for several cycles, and when we still didn't see success we started talking IVF. I am not saying that is where you are. I don't know your situation, and it sounds like you haven't even had a medicated cycle yet, so obviously there are many more steps in between for you before you would even have to contemplate more invasive/expensive options, such as IVF. With that being said, talk to your RE and really push them to answer your questions and keep all options on the table. We had a teleconference with our RE after my 4th failed IUI that made me feel a lot better about our options.... after our 5th failed IUI I was a bit of a mess, and we said we wanted a sit down consult before we did another cycle. That meeting was our turning point, and 1.5 hours later we walked out of the office having put down a deposit for IVF.

Anyway, I know this is a long winded response, and you don't know me and probably think I am crazy... but I just wanted to try to offer you a bit of hope and support and let you know that you are not alone. 16 months ago I had just had my 4th failed IUI and I felt like the world was ending. Today I have a beautiful son, and I am excitedly waiting for the time when we can begin TTC#2. The only way out is through, and if it hasn't worked yet it just means that your journey isn't over yet. Stay strong, and we are here to support you!

Amber&Reva · November 2014

I am so sorry this wasn't your cycle. Keep in mind that even couples that have fresh sperm at there beck in call take an average of 6 months to get pregnant. Those people that get it in the first couple tries are the minority not the majority.

Karlamo · November 2014

I'm sorry. It's amazing how quickly those BFN's rack up. If you're not working with an RE maybe look into working with someone. There is blood work and testing that can be done that are not too invasive to give you a peace of mind that things are in working order.

StacyLH24 · November 2014

I'm sorry.

FSBC · November 2014

My heart hurts for you. Focus on your next step and try and stay positive moving forward. Sending good vibes.

bfonz619 · November 2014

I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

wishiwaspreggo · November 2014

BFNs are awful, I'm so sorry I went through 5 BFNs myself before I finally got my BFP on the 6th try. It sucked having to do it that many times but I wanted to do whatever it took to get it to work, you know? If you've been unmedicated up until now, honestly, medications make a lot of difference. Not all of us will need them but most of us do. It helps increase the number of eggs and also helps pinpoint ovulation.

I know it's hard, but try to keep on moving forward. Give yourself some time to lick your wounds then hop back on the saddle!

mallory4284 · November 2014

I'm sorry

Officerofthelaw · November 2014

Thank you everyone for your support.
@KH826‌
I am with an RE but wasn't until this last cycle. My wife says we have to think of this last cycle as our first because the other three were with a clueless OBGYN.
The first three IUI's were medicated but I was not monitored and therefore the timing was bad. We learned that my body gives false ovulation LH Surges. So this 4th IuI was perfectly times. They checked the day of ovulation by looking at blood and did a sonogram to see one follicle at 19.6. Then they did insemination and check the day after to make sure the follicle had dropped and it did. This was the first IuI I actually felt good about, however it was the first Unmedicated one. I talked to my RE yesterday and they are going to do a medicated cycle this time. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this 5th IUI will work. I did have an HSG test and I was fine. I track my ovulation with a clear blue digital ovulation. However like I mentioned my body fakes ovulation. Luckily my current RE checks my blood everyday from the first surge I get on my own and they wait for confirmation by blood that I'm ovulating before insemination.

Twochickshavinachick · November 2014

So sorry to hear this. I understand how difficult it can be with each negative, especially if you are seeing others with their children on a regular basis. Working in a convenience store, I was usually facing pregnant women and tiny babies within hours of each neg. And it didn't get any easier after our fifth, when I found out that a colleague was pregnant. I won't say it gets easier (because I know how frustrating that can be) but if it's of any help, I learned to work through these moments by training myself to think of these as signs that I would get there eventually. ie: How many couples are said to be struggling with some form of fertility issue? And if I'm seeing so many pregnant women, how many of them must have faced countless BFN s before getting the good news? That means I can do it too!

Fingers crossed and thoughts are with you for your next try.

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