Hesitant on Revealing Sex to Family

shayrenee86 · November 2014

I went and got an elective u/s last weekend and we're having a boy! While I'm excited, I've also hesitant to share. I've had some very verbal preferences for a girl in my family. My grandma said, "We have too many boys, I want a girl", and mom sad she wanted a girl (I have 4 brothers). During his childhood, my MIL made my husband feel crappy for not being a girl and instead being boy #4. Ugh! Really?! As this is grandchild #1, I feel the unspoken pressure to give her the girl she always wanted and never got.

So being a SS, I haven't told any of them yet because I should not have to defend my unborn child's Y chromosome!

theinvadermothership · November 2014

No you shouldn't have to. And if you honestly think they won't take it gracefully, don't tell them. You can always say you are team green and they don't have to know...

court476 · November 2014

I'm not finding out the sex of my child just so I don't have to deal with all that drama! Also, if they don't like the fact that you're having a boy then your child doesn't need that kinda negativity in his life. You and your husband will love him more then enough!

specialsn0wflake · November 2014

Or, you can tell them and they can just get over it. Or they won't. Either way, telling them then versus now won't change anything if they're going to be truly upset over something no one can control.

You may also remind them how babies are made and that the male is the one who determines sex, so she only has her son to blame, not you.

JaneShops · November 2014

shayrenee86 said:

I went and got an elective u/s last weekend and we're having a boy! While I'm excited, I've also hesitant to share. I've had some very verbal preferences for a girl in my family. My grandma said, "We have too many boys, I want a girl", and mom sad she wanted a girl (I have 4 brothers). During his childhood, my MIL made my husband feel crappy for not being a girl and instead being boy #4. Ugh! Really?! As this is grandchild #1, I feel the unspoken pressure to give her the girl she always wanted and never got.
So being a SS, I haven't told any of them yet because I should not have to defend my unborn child's Y chromosome!

Congratulations!

domt worry too much about the girl preference by your family. First of it, it's not their baby. Secondly, once April rolls around, everyone is going to fall in love. Finally, as long as you & DH are happy. Right?

No need to share. But personally, I would tell them. I wouldn't want to end up with all pinks, haha.

bowman958 · November 2014

I second @FlyThruMyDreams9‌ - if you are super excited and happy when you tell them, they will just come off like a dick if they aren't happy for you. Congrats on your little boy!

kadyn11 · November 2014

I feel you on that one I have 4 girls so I feel a lot of pressure for the 5th to be a boy my poor husband is the only man in the house and I want to give him his boy.

khan08 · November 2014

I feel ya... We find out if four weeks and my DH side are pressing for a girl. My husband is one of 4 boys and my son is the only grandkid so far. Your family will just have to understand that there was a 50% chance it was either. They will get over it. They have to, it's family.

Coco118 · November 2014

I'm in your same shoes right now. Found out the sex on Monday (it was our anatomy scan day) and it's a girl, and I've been hearing nonstop from all friends and family how they hope it's a boy. Our family is all girls, and all of my friends have girls as well. Even my best friend's husband told me he's hoping for a boy since they have 3 daughters. This is our first (and luckily on husband's side, first grandchild, so no pressure there) and I'm just dreading spilling the news and seeing the disappointment.

BabyShanteau · November 2014

This irks me to no end...like would they seriously be unhappy if it were a boy?!?!? Come on. If you don't think they'll be overjoyed to hear that it's a boy, don't tell them.
We heard so much crap from our parents about DD's name before she was born that we're not telling them anything. Not the sex, not names we're thinking about, NOTHING.

Congratulations on your healthy baby boy!

HZ2012 · November 2014

This irks me. (Not YOU op - this situation). If you decide to tell your family that it's a boy and they seem disappointed for more than 5 minutes - then they have serious issues. Healthy and happy should be their only concerns.

mhickey426 · November 2014

F THEM!!!!!

tigerlily25 · November 2014

I would tell them now, just to get it out of the way so that you don't have to build up in your mind how they will react for the next 5 months. And too bad for them if they aren't excited or disappointed, that's their problem and you shouldnt have to feel stress or guilt over something you can't control!

smilesallaround · November 2014

Congratulations on the boy!! I have my anatomy scan in a few weeks, but I don't know when I will tell my family if it is not a girl. My mother has told me that even if it is a boy she will just act like she has a granddaughter because that is all that she wants.

julievdm12 · November 2014

Congrats on your little boy! This situation makes me mad at them for you. :P
Unless I'm completely ignorant, I'm pretty sure the sex of your baby is completely out of your control, so..... They can all get over it? I'm so sorry you are dealing with this type of problem.

theinvadermothership · November 2014

God, I'm really sorry for you ladies also experiencing this. So awful! I would be so angry if anyone expressed this (or expresses this with my child after this one) to me. I would be up front and say, if you can't be happy about another grandchild, no matter what the sex, then you will not know what it is until you can learn to love it, no matter what.

I will not have sex resentment coming from my family! Who needs that negativity?

miahbelle · November 2014

I keep hearing about how people want this one to be a girl. Oh DH's side there are two grandsons (our DS and my SIL's DS) so they are just dying for it to be a girl. No matter how much I tell them I just want the baby healthy and that there is a 50% chance it's a girl. MIL has even stated that she would be disappointed if it were a boy. You better believe she got a look from me and she quickly corrected herself. Several of my friends have stated that they want it to be a girl too. I've almost gotten to the point of wishing it was a boy just to spite them, but I stop myself short of that because I don't want to have a preference for any reason.

topaz7777 · November 2014

This is one reason we are Team Green. Also, we NEVER share the names we picked with family. The baby comes out, DH announces it's a boy or girl, and what the name is. They can get used to the idea while they are in the waiting room.

Also, they don't put in their 2 cents because it's already chosen.

vickersh1 · November 2014

Sorry that you're dealing with that. I agree with PP - your family should just be happy that you are having a healthy baby. I've ready too many posts on here where other ladies weren't so lucky. I would tell them they can be happy its a HEALTHY baby boy or not be apart of its life. That was the speech I had planned for my mom when I went to tell her I was pregnant. I just knew she was going to dispise this pregnancy because she isn't fond of DH - thankfully she has been super excited and very supportive.

Good Luck. As long as you and your DH are happy and exicted, that is all that should matter.

n0soup4u · November 2014

Congrats on your baby boy! Both of our parents had expressed their opinion on what sex they preferred. At first it was putting a lot of pressure on my husband and I and knowing that we would be "letting down" one of our families. When we found out that we were having a girl we were soooo excited and kept reminding ourselves that nobody can choose and what matters was how we were feeling. Once we told our parents that we will be bring a little girl into the family both sets of parents were over the top excited and all they hoped for was a healthy baby. I feel bad for you. Maybe if it is putting that much stress on you, wait until the baby is born for them to find out. I have found that since we have told them we are having a girl that they are little bit less opinionated. I hope everything works out in your favor!

cwiceangel · November 2014

Think everyone is pulling for a girl in my family. Lol but they'll love it no matter what. I have a feeling boy but what do I know. Anyway, I think I'd rather just tell them now so they can get over it and you can stop listening to them bitch about it. They'll probably move onto names but I feel like that's better than making you guys feel guilty over what you're having and chances are you or hubby are going to snap and they'll find out in a nasty manner. (Not that they don't deserve it at this point.)

n0soup4u · November 2014

galnoir said:

I get this and that it's weird and don't mean to dismiss it but whenever I read the title of this one, I just think about the family sitting around the living room and you being like "well, here goes nothin..." and slipping your sex tape VHS into player. I don't know why it's on VHS in my head.

this is great. I feel like this is in Meet the Fockers or American Pie???

lilann2011 · November 2014

I'm in your same boat! Having my second boy and the 5th out of 6 on my husbands side. Already heard everyone is disappointed and it really sucked for a bit and made me not as excited...but I have gotten really excited now!
I literally told family the day we found out just so I could get it out of the way, I know that sounds bad but it was true. Last time I did a gender reveal with just family this time it was over text lol
I agree with PP of being sooo excited when you announce...in person because I already knew they weren't excited I fed into that and I think that makes a difference. I haven't announced at work yet but now when anyone asks I tell them I feel like it's a boy and I really hope it is

I'm planning on announcing after 20wks and praying I don't deal with more of other peoples dissapointment as I've already been told by most everyone that they hope it's a girl....ughhh!
Big hugs to you and hang in there...we are having amazing lil baby boys!!!

kariemomo · November 2014

Congrats on a boy!!! I'm feeling the same way you are. My family has been big on telling me they think it's a boy or that they want a boy, my mom even told me what positions I should be doing to have a boy. This is the first grandbaby on both sides so I feel they probably won't care in the end, but it's annoying. Not planning on sharing names either because I've already heard it from my parents what they don't like.

Coco118 · November 2014

Well we sucked it up and shared our news today and everyone acted excited for us. Even though my mom did say "I don't believe it's a girl until baby comes out. I'm still team blue!" But at least everyone else acted excited, and this little girl will have a big group of girlfriends (as your boy will have a set group of boys to grow up with) and I think the happiness will grow over time. Better to get it over with now than at birth!

shayrenee86 · November 2014

Thanks for all the support ladies!! I'm happy (and not so happy) to find I'm not the only one. My anatomy scan is next Wednesday so we'll tell them then and pretend I don't already know. I'm definately thinking of not sharing the name after reading the replies.

shayrenee86 · November 2014

galnoir said:
I get this and that it's weird and don't mean to dismiss it but whenever I read the title of this one, I just think about the family sitting around the living room and you being like "well, here goes nothin..." and slipping your sex tape VHS into player. I don't know why it's on VHS in my head.

Well sex is the correct term, not gender...

fatcat11188 · November 2014

I have similar situation.. Everyone wants me to have a boy… we won't know till next week, but I feel the unneeded and unwanted pressure

JaneShops · November 2014

shayrenee86 said:
Thanks for all the support ladies!! I'm happy (and not so happy) to find I'm not the only one. My anatomy scan is next Wednesday so we'll tell them then and pretend I don't already know. I'm definately thinking of not sharing the name after reading the replies.

I'm glad you found out before, so you can brace yourself and not be affected my everyone's comment after the AS

Wednesday is right around the corner, how exciting

nomesy · November 2014

So glad no one has told me what they think I should have , I mean it's not like you can get to a point and be like , right now everyone wants a girl so I better do this so it is one , I mean wtf as if you have a choice once it's started to develop!! You can't change your mind and grow a penis for it ??!!?? Some people are silly. They should be using the words " oh wouldn't it be nice to be a girl" in stead of "I want a girl" ... I mean it makes you awkward now because you're like well guess what suckers ... I went against your wishes. Gah. People are stupid... Not you the ones who tell people what they should have.

Editing because I forgot to add, congrats on having a boy:)

slipsintothesea · November 2014

I feel ya! My husband's family really wants a boy but we just want a healthy baby. His God mother gets nasty about it and says over and over that boys are better and that we better have a boy. I'm getting tired of hearing that. My family doesn't have a preference they just want a healthy baby for us. Celebrate your baby boy and screw their opinion.

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