Birth mother Troubles — The Bump
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Birth mother Troubles

I am only 18 years old and recently discovered that I am pregnant. I am not ready for a child and I feel that I will not be able to care for it as the young one would need. So adoptions was my choice over abortion. Now I'm trying not to get attached to the baby and I plan on taking a vacation right after the delivery so I can deal with my emotions in a relaxing setting. My family and I have been thinking about hawaii but I'm worried I won't be able to swim. Please give me any advice you other mothers have on how to deal with the emotional stress and where do you think I should go on vacation that I could fully enjoy myself.

Re: Birth mother Troubles

  • I am an adoptive mom who has a close relationship with birth mom. We have an open adoption and all has been positive but she needed time in the beginning to cope with her emotions. She called and texted to talk when needed. I actually caught staph while the baby was in the hospital and ended up staying over a week myself and she came to check on me several times. I say you do whatever you need to do to cope with your feelings. You are an amazing person for doing such a selfless act and helping make someone's dream of becoming a mom come true. I know my BM loved my daughter and still does but knew you can't support a baby just on love. It is ok to be connected to the child and love it. It will happen as an adoptive mom it is hard to watch that love grow, because there is a fear that BM may change her mind but I would rather see her care and know she is doing what she needs to do for the baby and take the best care of her until the adoptive mom gets to hold her.
    naynayboo
  • Thank you for your brave choice. I was adopted by two wonderful people at 2days old 30 years ago. I don't know my birth mom, and not to sound mean, but I'm ok with that. I love her for what she allowed me to have, but I am so in love with my parents and family because I was given that chance. Talk to people who have been adopted to help with your emotions as well!

    As for traveling, it sounds like a great plan but I bled 9 wks pp. Just take it easy no matter where you go and you'll be fine!
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt198c30.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  • I admire your choice Hun. You will need a lot of support after as you recover physically and emotionally. You may even second guess your decision so remember this time when you made it clearly. The last thing you want is to be crying while on vacation (and I mean real crying due to post partum emotions and the reality of your choice.). Wait a bit. Recover physically. Settle emotionally. And then go swimming and revel in the courage you have to give that baby such a wonderful life. God bless you.
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