"Extended" BF and TTC

SidraJedi · November 2014

DD is 19 mo, DH and I plan to TTC in Feb. '15 Since the return of AF my cycle has been "wonky". Basically I have a 28-30 day cycle with my follicular phase being 20-24 days and my luteal phase being 7-9 days. I use FF and we practice FAM for BC - we have used this method for over a decade and have had two pregnancies, the first in 2004 resulting in a very early MC and the second resulting in a very robust DD who is now 19 mo old and stil nursing on demand.

Most definitely DD nurses for comfort part of the time but I want to do child led weaning and let her nurse as long as she and I both are happy to do it. I LOVE nursing her and she loves her "bee-bees" so all is well.

But DH and I are hoping to start to TTC in February 2015. My cycles are a little lop-sided and I need to hear about other moms who were experiencing this and stil managed to conceive. I also would love to hear about child-led weaning or nursing through pregnancy/tandem nursing stories if any of you can help out with that too.

Mostly, I know a lot can change in 3-4 months but I just want to know that I can continue to nurse on demand/CLW and also TTC successfully. I want to hear the experience of others in a similar situation to mine. What can I expect?

We conceived DD on the first try so I am totally new to TTC.

Thanks for any help.

ETA: posted prematurely!

Also, forgot to add that I had my first pp cycle July 4 '14 and that they have been regular ever since (so I've had 5)

SidraJedi · November 2014

Thanks @nursedesi‌

vvvvvfee · November 2014

no real advice here, just stopping by to say i'm in a similar situation.

DS is still nursing and we just started TTC. i was charting when we conceived DS, but we also lucked out and got pregnant on the first cycle trying. my cycles while nursing have been kind of wacky. i've had some as short as 28 days, and others up to 39 days. i do feel like they're starting to regulate a little now that DS is down to nursing about 3x a day- the past several months they've been more like 30-32 days. i am no good at temping (i'm too groggy in the early morning and we cosleep so it's just too much of a pain in the butt), so i've been relying more on a fertility tracking app i have, plus cervical position/feel and cervical fluid to ballpark when ovulation is happening. i'm also open to nursing while pregnant/tandem nursing, assuming it works for everyone. (my only real-life info on this comes from my SIL, who got pregnant with her 2nd while still nursing her 2-year-old, and she said he self-weaned because the taste of her milk changed.)

mshukh · November 2014

I am in a very similar situation except I still haven't had an AF. And it's been almost 17 months now. We aren't preventing, but there's no real way for me to know if and when I'm ovulating, so that makes it more difficult. I went to a doctor and she said I most likely won't conceive until after I wean. That was discouraging to hear. I'd love to hear from others who have without an AF and still nursing. FYI, we conceived immediately on the first try the first time around so it's a little frustrating that it's taking longer now.

lars1226 · November 2014

No advice on the TTC part but I'm 28 wks pregnant with #2 and maybe still nursing my 19mo DS, just at bedtime. He hasn't asked to nurse for 4 days now so we might be done

. My supply is def gone at this point. DS did get more impatient as time went on (switching sides a lot and shorter sessions) and actually said "all gone" last time he nursed. In the 1st tri, nursing made me nauseated but otherwise hasn't been too bad. I was open to tandem nursing, especially if it's just once a day for DS and we could keep his bedtime routine consistent. We'll see if DS actually weaned this week or if it's just temporary.

@nursedesi thank you so much for sharing your experience! I'm really worried about how DS will react when he sees new baby nursing so your story gives me hope.

@mshukh are you still nursing at night? I never got AF back after DS was born and got pg again when he was 13mo. It was maybe 4 weeks after I stopped pumping at work and 6-8 wks after DS stopped nursing at night, so we were down to 2-3x a day. I think some women have to wean completely to start ovulating again and for others just night weaning does the trick.

mshukh · November 2014

@lars1226

No, I haven't nursed at night from around when he turned 15 months. So it's been a couple months now. I stopped pumping at 14 months PP. I might just be one of those "lucky" women, I guess. Time will tell. Thanks for the suggestions though!

sschwege · November 2014

For me it takes dropping to 2 nursing sessions to get AF to return. When we were TTC #2 I started charting as soon as AF returned (15.5 months postpartum). The first cycle was all over the place, I don't think I ovulated and FF never gave me crosshairs. Second month, I ovulated but my LP was only 4 days. Third month things looked back to normal, but BFN. Fourth month I was pregnant.

AF returned at 20.5 postpartum and we are now in cycle #2 of TTC. Seems as if things are getting back to normal quicker this time, maybe because AF came later? Our timing has been terrible though, so hopefully we can get that on track!

You still have some time, but as you get closer to TTC, you might have to consider dropping some sessions depending on what is higher priority at this point.

I did BF briefly while pregnant with my second, but weaned at 10w because I found it pretty uncomfortable to nurse and my supply was down to almost nothing. I didn't think I was interested in tandem nursing anyway, so it was fine.

SidraJedi · November 2014

Thanks for the advice/responses ladies! I really appreciate it. I like hearing about your experiences.

bleusimp · November 2014

I only had one period after DS, and was nursing at night three times a day and DS was 8.5 months old when I found out I was pregnant with #2. DS weaned himself shortly after, I think because of the change in taste and drop in supply. We had a date night and werent ttc, we just didn't prevent that night.

MauiS2k · November 2014

I was in a similar situation with DS. Got pregnant with baby #1 on our first cycle trying, wanted to start TTC#2 when #1 was about 12 months old but I hadn't gotten my period back yet. Finally got my first pp period back at 13.5 months but they were very irregular and cycles were 30-50 days long. DS was still nursing at night and frequently during the day so I didn't have much hope but I just kept track of my cycles to see if they was any pattern. I should also mention that I normally have very irregular cycles anyways. I night-weaned him at about 18 months because I couldn't take the night wakings any longer and got pregnant that month. He was still nursing about 2-3 times a day and I continued to nurse him during the first few months of pregnancy. I developed really strong nursing aversion and had a ton of MS but I pushed through. At almost exactly 4 months pregnant, DS just stopped being interested in nursing and weaned himself without any complaints. I was shocked because I was convinced he would nurse until he went to college! I assume that my supply was probably diminishing slowly and then just tanked at 4 months. He has asked recently to nurse, even though he's been weaned for a few months now and I have let him try but he actually doesn't seem to remember how to latch or nurse. I'm not against tandem nursing so if he insists after the baby arrives I may try it out to see if I can juggle nursing both.