Into the Fray! Intro (reposted to correct group)

LaceyStardust · November 2014

Hello, ladies.

SO, I had made an introduction in the past, but I kinda drifted off out of personal frustrations with TTC. But I'm back in the swing of things.

A little history for those interested; I am 27 this year, rounding on our 3rd year of TTC this December. Last year, my husband and I completed basic fertility tests. I did the Provera challenge, and had a HSG. Both, at the time, came back within normal ranges/anatomy. My husband had 2 SA that year, and his results were abnormally low on one, then abnormal in motility. We had a big move overseas and I decided to take a break. Well, TTC was delayed for a few personal curve-balls in the family department. My mother passed unexpectedly, so I made an immediate trip back to the states for that...and it still creeps in on me and affects me, of course.

Back to present day, I am seeing an OB on base who says she doesn't see my past medical procedures. So I'm restarting! Can't wait to do that HSG again...ugg, Cause I have to make an appointment off-base, 2 hours away by car. Stateside access has spoiled me. -_- Right now I am on my 2nd day of Provera. Talk of labs, HSG, then Clomid. I have heard that Clomid is unpleasant to be on. But I am willing to be a jerk to get the end result.

Also bought PreSeed and a menstrual cup, for entrapment of those little swimmers! ;] All is fair in Love and Fertility Wars!

My husband had another SA at our current base, cause his records are also missing in the military database. Fortunately, his 3rd result came back 'normal'. My husband has been trying very hard to quite smoking and cut down on alcohol. At the time he did his last SA, he had sustained for 2 months, nearly. When I went to my appointments, I mentioned the time gap and the lifestyle habits from then till recently- they were not concerned. "Unfortunately, It all rests on you, now." That got under my skin and just fueled my husband for continuing his habits-- but he really has reduced his intake, this month. That is to his credit, but I hated hearing that this was solely my responsibility. My OB doesn't think that, but hubs wasn't around to hear that.

So, we both want children, badly. I really hope Clomid will be the right step. I do not have any diagnosed issues- though I thought my TV Ultrasound images looked very suspicious for cysts, comparatively! But that is why we, in the medical field, recommend steering clear of WebMD and Google!

Another fun note- I work on the L/D floor at my hospital. This is going to be the end of my sanity.

Faith, Trust, and Baby Dust to all.

LaceyStardust · November 2014

Can do. Sorry to any offended.

dancerspose · November 2014

Welcome back and best of luck to you! I hope your stay is short.

SND1231 · November 2014

Welcome. Hope your stay is short and sweet.

Shauntee · November 2014

Welcome. I am sorry about your loss. I was on Clomid as well, and didn't have any side effects from it. Good luck!

LaceyStardust · November 2014

Thank you. I hope I have an easy-go with Clomid. I'm probably just feeling more anxious than I should.

LaceyStardust · November 2014

Thanks!

I feel like she was uncomfortable talking in that field. She usually would be seeing me for a cold. She is a PA, and they typically don't see much of the OB but have to refer me to those that do. Meeeh,

I just didn't think a medical professional would ever think that was an acceptable thing, however!

LaceyStardust · November 2014

@BlueFairy5

Sorry, thought I had hit the reply button!

BunnyBerry · November 2014

Welcome! Hope your repeat HSG goes well.

I am really mad at the guy who said it's all on you now. That is the stupidest thing I ever heard. Even if YH had super sperm, it's something both of you have to get through together. And YH still needs a repeat SA even if the results were normal the first time. Sperm are fickle.

SuzyHomemaker07 · November 2014

All is fair in Love and Fertility Wars!- haha! Welcome!

mshandlebar · November 2014

Welcome! Sorry you have to be here, and super sorry you have to get your testing redone.

My mother passed away suddenly when I was 18. It was and still is devastating, especially when dealing with IF. If you ever need to talk, I am here

I've been on Clomid for 3 cycles now and really haven't had many side effects. I get hot flashes, feel thirsty and only occasionally do I get irrationally emotional. Usually these only last while I am on the meds or a few days after. Reactions vary depending on the person, but I don't think it is anything to psych yourself out about. Good luck! I hope your stay here is short and sweet.

mmmKayy · November 2014

Welcome and good luck on your journey!

glitterandgold · November 2014

Welcome!! I can't wait to see what the wonderful world of clomid has in store for you. It's a path I've expressed interest in with my pcp and so I always am interested to see how things go with others!

xoxo

LaceyStardust · November 2014

I have read that an RE is preferable over an OB or FH doc. Unfortunately I am stationed in Japan and the choices are sparse, if not nonexistent, according to my OB.

I am going to reiterate to my OB about my concerns with taking Clomid. Maybe I'll get some progress with the availability on main island.

Thanks for voicing that, I do understand that it's been an issue for some. I'll stay alert.

deelopi9 · November 2014

Welcome and I hope your stay with us is short! I'm so very sorry for your loss.

LaceyStardust · November 2014

Update:

Got my CD3 blood work done. Had a positive response for my Progesterone Challenge, and finished my second round of HSG.
It sucked, just to share, but my tubes were patent.

My next appointment will be to draw CD21 progesterone blood. I guess to see where my levels are, and if I can ovulate?

SO, I'm still with you gals. Thanks for the advice, kind words, and looking out for me even! ( I will bring all those concerns up with my OB next appointment. ;] )

Hoping for the best for all of us. Thanks again.

LaceyStardust · November 2014

Does anyone have any insight on low DHEA levels? I was reviewing my BW, still waiting on my OB to get back with me, and it was the obvious abnormal.

My Estradiol levels on cd3 were at 393.1....my FSH was at 4.3. I read that if the E2 is high enough, it may cause suppression of the FSH, masking low ovarian supply.

BUT, in my TV U/S, I was supposedly(-I say that, cause the images I saw matched other's that depicted multiple cysts) clear of cysts.

Now I'm starting to sweat bullets- is there much chance of natural pregnancy at this rate? Would Clomid even be the right route? If I can medicate my DHEA issue, would it make much difference?

Aaaah, sorry! I know this may not be something ya'll can answer easily. I still have to get my cd21 progesterone at the beginning of the month, but if anyone has some personal experience or thoughts...I think I need it!

Booo.

LaceyStardust · November 2014

Thanks!

I've been on a supplement of DHEA with my prenatal. So, I am curious as to the actual levels without supplements.

Again, I appreciate the info.

WishUponAChild · November 2014

GL and my FX for you!

LaceyStardust · November 2014

I double checked- and it's DHA. Derp.

My dr said she wasn't worried about my low DHEA- she said if I demonstrated for PCOS, it would be important, but she says she wasn't worried.

I'm getting my AMH shipped to the states, to verify my reserve at this point- if it comes back low, then I'm going to start my IVF journey.

Clomid is still on the board, but I've confirmed that there is no RE available in Japan and they won't allow medical travel for fertility diagnosis.

LaceyStardust · November 2014

Okay, just abusing Google while I'm waiting for my f/u with my dr.

I wonder if any ladies here want to guess at this puzzle....

My Estradiol is high. My AMH is pending. My FSH is normal for my CD3 BW. So my Dr. says my AMH will decide whether this is a POF issue or not. BUT, I'm curious- my U/S states scattered subcentimeter follicles in both ovaries- no sign of cysts or lesions. Doesn't that contradict the Premature Ovarian Failure diagnosis? And IF that is the case, doesn't this seem to indicate more of a adrenal issue (seeing as my DHEA was low?)

I'm confused. This ish is driving me loopy. Anyone wlse wanna dig-in with their understanding on how these damned assesories are suppossed to work?

Juuuuuust waiting for updates in 2 weeks. Going nuttier than squirrel turds.

pinkdoggie · November 2014

YES - @iPutKetchupOnKetchup

I was about to say the same thing - OP, do NOT go to an OB for clomid. I went to an OB for a long time (aganist the warnings of people on here) and now am struggling to get my lining back up to normal. Please find an RE, and if you can't, don't take clomid. It will only hurt you and is quite irresponsible.

LaceyStardust · November 2014

Oh, I see.

Well, thank you for the welcome. I have been looking for other messages that discuss something I can bring support to, not just insincere attention. I guess I haven't found footing from "lurker" mode.

I'm sorry I have offended/annoyed you guys. Wasn't my intent.

Thanks for the advice on Clomid- but I don't seem to have a lot of options, the way this sounds. Do it, via OB, or forever give up that chance. Trust me, I'm not happy about my options.

Anyways, obviously I should stop bringing attention to this post. I'll go wander the forums for friendly souls with common ground -Aside from the fact that we ALL have tense fertility issues.

LaceyStardust · November 2014

@rainbowbridge14‌
I appreciate the help and insight. I wasn't really aware of how those huge posts worked. I felt like I would be invading, as a newbie. An intro felt safest- that was an illusion. And really, I joined this community for answers/insight, not really for chit-chat. I'm not good at that, but I'll work on it!

I don't have a ton of experience in this situation, or for others', and I would be lying if I felt like the forum wasn't a bit intimidating to stray into. One conceived 'wrong' and I've noticed the wolves descend.

I DO appreciate a proper, pleasant, correction. I don't intend on being a troll- I'm not patient enough for that. Thanks for informing me and not lecturing me.

I'm off to drop in on other's issues. If nothing else, I may learn some things. As you've said. ;]

Thanks.

pinkdoggie · November 2014

LaceyStardust said:

Oh, I see.

Well, thank you for the welcome. I have been looking for other messages that discuss something I can bring support to, not just insincere attention. I guess I haven't found footing from "lurker" mode.

I'm sorry I have offended/annoyed you guys. Wasn't my intent.

Thanks for the advice on Clomid- but I don't seem to have a lot of options, the way this sounds. Do it, via OB, or forever give up that chance. Trust me, I'm not happy about my options.

Anyways, obviously I should stop bringing attention to this post. I'll go wander the forums for friendly souls with common ground -Aside from the fact that we ALL have tense fertility issues.

OP, If you can only go to an OB you need to find other alternative to taking clomid. If you don't know what it's doing to your body than it's pretty pointless taking it. You could end up pregnant with 8 kids, or having it damage you in some other way. You asked for advice, and that is the best I have to offer. I am sorry you can't see anyone other than an OB due to being in a foreign country but that doesn't mean it's safe, and that it will be okay for you.

LaceyStardust · November 2014

iPutKetchupOnKetchup said:

@LaceyStardust - first of all, I don't appreciate being passive aggressively insulted. You should knock that shit off if you want this to work. Secondly, we all know how intimidating it can be to join a "forum", but here's the thing - this isn't just a forum.. it is a community. While I understand that you "appreciate proper, pleasant correction" you cannot dictate how people will respond to you. We don't "descend like wolves" after one wrongdoing, unless that wrongdoing warrants it. That's how it works: you get called out if you deserve it and if you take the time to look around more you will see that people get support if they give it. That is the culture of this board and how our community works. You're welcome to join it, but you can't just take take take, have that brought to your attention, passive aggressively sling insults and expect me not to be offended.

Let me clarify something: If I want to say something to someone specifically, ma'am, I will. If you feel what I have to say speaks to you, and I didn't put your name to it...if the shoe fits, wear the son-of-a-bitch, but don't you dare tell me what I meant by my words. As you stated- you cannot dictate how others respond here, or for how they first learn to post here. If you wanna be a dick about it, then start policing those whose perspectives are different than yours, you'll be going in circles all day long.

This is not my first time on these forums. which is exactly what they are- looking at the url at the top, forums.thebump.com. And I have seen quite the welcoming committee for certain newbie posters, who honestly seemed pretty blindsided. I have enough stress in my life, as I'm sure you all do, to be letting stupid shit work me up. Coming here, I believed, was an environment tailored to asking questions- if it wasn't, then TheBump should really place a disclaimer stating that newbie will be tarred and feathered if deemed unworthy by high-traffic members.

Get over yourself. My post wasn't meant to harm anyone, but I guess its okay if you offend others and expect them to kowtow. If you didn't find my attempts to reachout to others, gather perspectives, mutually grow from a real life issue, likable...then why not ignore it?
You seem to be going to a lot of trouble to demonstrate something here.

Yes, I actively, not submissively, stated that I prefer to be addressed like an adult. I thanked the PP for doing so. I was in no way slinging mud at you personally, because I felt it necessary to insult someone. That's not how I work. I am not here to waste time on petty, power-tripping, foolishness. I am here to ask, to answer questions I know how to answer without a doubt, and learn from all these women. Rainbowbridge14 taught me something and you just wasted my time.

pinkdoggie · November 2014

LaceyStardust said:

iPutKetchupOnKetchup said:

@LaceyStardust - first of all, I don't appreciate being passive aggressively insulted. You should knock that shit off if you want this to work. Secondly, we all know how intimidating it can be to join a "forum", but here's the thing - this isn't just a forum.. it is a community. While I understand that you "appreciate proper, pleasant correction" you cannot dictate how people will respond to you. We don't "descend like wolves" after one wrongdoing, unless that wrongdoing warrants it. That's how it works: you get called out if you deserve it and if you take the time to look around more you will see that people get support if they give it. That is the culture of this board and how our community works. You're welcome to join it, but you can't just take take take, have that brought to your attention, passive aggressively sling insults and expect me not to be offended.

Let me clarify something: If I want to say something to someone specifically, ma'am, I will. If you feel what I have to say speaks to you, and I didn't put your name to it...if the shoe fits, wear the son-of-a-bitch, but don't you dare tell me what I meant by my words. As you stated- you cannot dictate how others respond here, or for how they first learn to post here. If you wanna be a dick about it, then start policing those whose perspectives are different than yours, you'll be going in circles all day long.

This is not my first time on these forums. which is exactly what they are- looking at the url at the top, forums.thebump.com. And I have seen quite the welcoming committee for certain newbie posters, who honestly seemed pretty blindsided. I have enough stress in my life, as I'm sure you all do, to be letting stupid shit work me up. Coming here, I believed, was an environment tailored to asking questions- if it wasn't, then TheBump should really place a disclaimer stating that newbie will be tarred and feathered if deemed unworthy by high-traffic members.

Get over yourself. My post wasn't meant to harm anyone, but I guess its okay if you offend others and expect them to kowtow. If you didn't find my attempts to reachout to others, gather perspectives, mutually grow from a real life issue, likable...then why not ignore it?
You seem to be going to a lot of trouble to demonstrate something here.

Yes, I actively, not submissively, stated that I prefer to be addressed like an adult. I thanked the PP for doing so. I was in no way slinging mud at you personally, because I felt it necessary to insult someone. That's not how I work. I am not here to waste time on petty, power-tripping, foolishness. I am here to ask, to answer questions I know how to answer without a doubt, and learn from all these women. Rainbowbridge14 taught me something and you just wasted my time.

Oh my dear, you just crossed the line.

Do you think just because you have been here before gives you the right to come on here and act snooty, ask a bunch of questions and then turn around and spit in the faces in some of those who have answered? Ketchup gave you some GREAT advice to which you responded by saying things like "One conceived wrong and I notice the wolves descend" and then go on to make catty little remarks disguised as sweet. Also, if you have been here before, you would know that saying some of things you have won't sit well with anyone and that's the only time these "wolves" willl descend. I was on here a long time ago as well and know not to come on here and condesend people trying to help me. Good day to you.

LaceyStardust · November 2014

rainbowbridge14 said:

LaceyStardust said:

Oh, I see.

Well, thank you for the welcome. I have been looking for other messages that discuss something I can bring support to, not just insincere attention. I guess I haven't found footing from "lurker" mode.

I'm sorry I have offended/annoyed you guys. Wasn't my intent.

Thanks for the advice on Clomid- but I don't seem to have a lot of options, the way this sounds. Do it, via OB, or forever give up that chance. Trust me, I'm not happy about my options.

Anyways, obviously I should stop bringing attention to this post. I'll go wander the forums for friendly souls with common ground -Aside from the fact that we ALL have tense fertility issues.

You seem sincere, but it also seems like you arn't very familiar with the board etiquette. Generally on this board we go by the idea that you give support to get support. It doesn't mean you have to have a lot of experience, but you can welcome other new members, give out hugs or say you are sorry when someone is having a bad day, or commiserate with others over how infertility makes us feel (which we all can relate to).

There are a lot of daily and weekly threads that you can participate in. For example, there is a weekly check in for the whole board and the benched check in for women who are not doing medicated cycles, which would both be good places to check in and say where you are at and to ask questions. You can also participate on throat punch Thursday, OPP Tuesday, WTF Wednesday or GTKY Mondays to vent and/or learn about others on the board. When you continue to post your own questions on your own post without offering support to others it tends to come across as attention seeking.

I encourage you to take part in the board and offer support to others and just get to know the ladies around here. You will learn a lot and if you do have to work with an OB due to being in a foreign country (hopefully you can find a way around this) and not having certain options you will learn what monitoring you need to be safe and what your options are if clomid is not what works for you.

I don't feel like it'll die-down now that I've given my point-of-view on the above...

The bolded text above was me saying, "Hey, I'm not good a chit-chat, I want to bring real conversation into threads I respond to. As of right now, my infertility experience is limited and in the 11 posts on my own discussion, I haven't found anything I'm comfortable speaking on- yet." It wasn't an excuse to hit and run, which is what seems to be the popular belief. I haven't made any connections in this forum/community yet, and I probably will have a hard time after this, but it doesn't stop development happening here, based on correspondences. Mutually beneficial information is sure to take place- common bonds can most definetly happen because a topic was brought up. Is that something that is dictated here? I really don't understand how closed off a place for discussion can be. Surely you don't expect all people to innately understand the subtleties of a group 'norm' before they have even spoke outside their intros?

The "wolves" metaphor was made to describe what I have seen in my time lurking on other posts, and while I may not understand the culture here yet, I do understand "protective"-- just like when an animal corrects their young (like a wolf?)-- but I am an adult and not above rational interjection. Otherwise you are creating a very hostile, uninviting environment, making for tense moments like this one.

SND1231 · December 2014

Well I have tried to not make any more drama on this thread but you totally crossed the line with your response to Ketchup. There is no excuse for your behavior. It is not hard to understand the "norms" of the board if you actually did the lurking you claim to have made. You can not just come in and ask your questions and expect us to answer it all without you giving any support. Do you ever go up to someone and just talk their head off and only ask them for advice? Or do they have the opportunity to share and get advice as well? You clearly do not understand what a support system like the Bump is and what is expected. How you responded to Ketchup will definitely burn bridges around here. Ketchup is an amazing woman who always tries to help everyone! I have made many mistakes on this board from speaking before I thought or simply posting before I took the time to look at other people's boards. But I and probably a lot of the ladies on this board will definitely not stand for you treating someone as kind and respected as Ketchup like you have. I am done wasting my time on this.

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Into the Fray! Intro (reposted to correct group)

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