OPP Tuesday

theholmanherd · November 2014

OPP = Other People's Pregnancies

Rant it out, ladies.

Side note: I am sorry for my relative absence the last few days. I'm going through kind of a rough patch right now and just haven't been super up to being social. I hope you can forgive me! I'm working on some personal stuff, so please bear with me. I promise to keep posting the weekly OPP, WTF, and TPT threads, though! Have a great Tuesday, everyone!

Edit: formatting

ronniesgirl1981 · November 2014

Big hugs to both @theholmanherd‌ and @rainbowbridge14‌! Mine is that friends of ours are expecting and their pregnancy has hit me especially hard. They had a gender reveal party (we didn't go) and announced the sex and the baby's name. They are naming the baby after a friend of ours who died very unexpectedly several years ago. I always wanted to do that. This is petty, but the wife didn't even know the friend. I do realize I could be hyper fertile and she still could have gotten the boy before we did...but I just feel bitter.

dancerspose · November 2014

@theholmandherd HUGS to you. I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now. If there's anything we can do please let us know.

@rainbowbridge14 HUGS to you too! I'm so sorry it was such an uncomfortable visit. You're a good friend for even trying. A good friend of mine gave birth to her second in July also, and I still haven't seen her or the baby. I actually haven't seen them since she announced her second pregnancy. They only live about an hour away too. I feel just awful about it, but it just stings.

It's been a rough week for me OPP wise. One friend gave birth two days ago to her second and the pics have been all over facebook. We're also on "any day now" alert for DH's best friend's baby to show up. He's not married, but with the mother, but it was an "oops" baby. As we all know, those cut pretty deeply.

So yeah, bring on the wine...

BunnyBerry · November 2014

Hope things get a little easier soon, Holman.

I've been saving this one for a few days!

A coworker (who knows about our IF) decided she needed to complain to me about how her very rude cousin didn't want to let her visit in the days after she gave birth last month. Going on about how, "it's not just her baby, it's my little cousin, we are all here to celebrate with her, she has no right!" So she decided to go there anyway, and then was super pissed that she only got to hold the baby for a minute or two and basically got kicked out (um, hello...I wouldn't have let her in!).

Then, she wanted me to know it was all okay because she spent time with the baby last week or something, and went on to describe in great detail how amazing it felt to hold the sleeping baby, feed and change and dress him, etc.

Super depressing and the last thing I expected to have to listen to at work!

I have also let everyone in my family know, if/when we ever have a baby, I will likely keep him/her to myself for weeks (of course DH and probably my immediate family and grandmas can come). I have no problem kicking people out even if they get mad. It's like a honeymoon - you've been waiting so long to be with this person and who the heck would infringe on that?

EmeJay · November 2014

@buttmonkey34 *HUGS* Don't feel bad for having these feelings! Your hormones are all messed up and you're still healing. Be kind to yourself. xo

SND1231 · November 2014

So glad it is Tuesday.. I have quite a few so feel free to just skip over me...
I work at a funeral home- I have always loved my job and it is always a baby free zone. Well to be honest I have been having a really rough emotional week and was at work for a funeral and in walked the family of the deceased that seriously has 4 infants! What is even crazier is they were all the grandparents with the babies because apparently the people (the grandparents children) couldn't take care of the babies,so the grandparents were raising them. All they had to say were terrible things about how much they hated not sleeping, the baby constantly being hungry or needing a diaper change... Seriously! I had to sneak off a time or two to clear my head...

One of my good friends is pregnant with her second baby. She is the biggest complainer ever! I think I mentioned her in a previous OPP post. She is almost 10 weeks and seriously sat on the platform to sing last Sunday. Her excuse was.. well I threw up one time two days ago and I am still just sooo weak. I can't stand for more than a few minutes. I wanted to slap her! I don't know what morning sickness is like, however, I knew what throwing up .. alot... is like.. I was on chemo for over a year, so trust me I know what throwing up is like. Throwing up one time two days ago is not a reason to stop doing anything and everything ! She seriously has shipped her almost 2 year old off to anyone and everyone because she can't get out of bed and is just so tired.. seriously! And she had the nerve to complain about all of this to me...

Most of these things wouldn't bother me, but right now I just am emotional I guess...
Sorry for the novel..

theholmanherd · November 2014

Love tits are for support and for thanks if you mentioned me. I appreciate all the kind words and offers to help. I'm on mobile right now, so bear with me on formatting lol.

I haven't decided if I'm taking a break yet, but I will let you all know. For now, I'm still here

@BunnyBerry‌, wow. What a douchecanoe. If I were the new mom, I would have been pissed. There's obviously a reason she doesn't want people over. I bet that bitch didn't even bring food or offer to help clean the house or anything.

@rainbowbridge14‌, (((hugs))) that's how I feel these days. I even asked me new church if there was a women's group for women who don't have kids yet or an all ages group with no child care (so the moms can't bring their kids to it). I felt bad for asking but I just can't pretend I'm okay with it anymore.

EmeJay · November 2014

lemonliz said:

HUGS all around!! Pretty much to everyone who already posted! Sounds like it's been a rough OPP week. I've got a WTF/OPP wrapped up in one. WTF is up with all the babies born in the past 7 days?!? 5 of them among my friends and family. That's almost 1/day. We were lapped by 4 couples this week. And I am now deliberately avoiding 3 people I feel certain will make a KU announcement soon. Yesterday I told my good friend, "Let's go to kick-boxing instead of yoga. I don't need zen, I need to kick shit." She laughed but obliged. Totes helped, too.

Valentine's Day baby

:x

LindseyM2012 · November 2014

Hugs for EVERYONE!!!! Sounds like everyone has had a rough OPP week or two.

I've got such mixed feelings about my OPP this week! We spent the weekend with friends who have a beautiful daughter (1.5 years old) and wife is expecting their 2nd in January so she's beautiful in her 7 month glow. Apparently the little girl is painfully shy and super slow to warm up and isn't very cuddly/affectionate with people other than her parents, but she opened up to me and invited me into her little play world in about 45 mins (wife said that is super quick). Well, this little girl LOVED my husband. She started giving him toys almost immediately. And the morning we left, my husband was sitting at the kitchen table and the little girl just walked up to him, leaned against him and just cuddled up to his leg (head on knee, hugging his leg). My husband just put his hand on her back and they sat like that for a good couple mins. I was watching with such mixed emotions. First, I'm so appreciative to have a husband who is so good with kids that they just gravitate toward him. Second, I am so sad I can't give that to him right now. Knife-to-gut type of sadness. I'm glad we left after that.

typo31 · November 2014

EmeJay said:

lemonliz said:

HUGS all around!! Pretty much to everyone who already posted! Sounds like it's been a rough OPP week. I've got a WTF/OPP wrapped up in one. WTF is up with all the babies born in the past 7 days?!? 5 of them among my friends and family. That's almost 1/day. We were lapped by 4 couples this week. And I am now deliberately avoiding 3 people I feel certain will make a KU announcement soon. Yesterday I told my good friend, "Let's go to kick-boxing instead of yoga. I don't need zen, I need to kick shit." She laughed but obliged. Totes helped, too.

Valentine's Day baby

:x

Polar Vortex babies!

dancerspose · November 2014

@LindseyM2012 (HUGS) to you. I find that pain to be some of the worst of all.

nikiswimr · November 2014

*** Loss mentioned ***

I still haven't visited my friend who gave birth the week after my loss. I suspect she's upset about it as we've pretty much stopped talking, but I just can't bring myself to do it. We had already been trying for a year when they started trying and I had this irrational hope we would be pregnant together. Then I finally got pregnant but then lost the baby. She was very sweet when it happened but gave birth a week later. It's still just too soon. I'm pretty much done with FB because it's turned into baby book and I feel like a day doesn't go by without an announcement.

SND1231 · November 2014

LindseyM2012 said:

Hugs for EVERYONE!!!! Sounds like everyone has had a rough OPP week or two.

I've got such mixed feelings about my OPP this week! We spent the weekend with friends who have a beautiful daughter (1.5 years old) and wife is expecting their 2nd in January so she's beautiful in her 7 month glow. Apparently the little girl is painfully shy and super slow to warm up and isn't very cuddly/affectionate with people other than her parents, but she opened up to me and invited me into her little play world in about 45 mins (wife said that is super quick). Well, this little girl LOVED my husband. She started giving him toys almost immediately. And the morning we left, my husband was sitting at the kitchen table and the little girl just walked up to him, leaned against him and just cuddled up to his leg (head on knee, hugging his leg). My husband just put his hand on her back and they sat like that for a good couple mins. I was watching with such mixed emotions. First, I'm so appreciative to have a husband who is so good with kids that they just gravitate toward him. Second, I am so sad I can't give that to him right now. Knife-to-gut type of sadness. I'm glad we left after that.

I can totally relate. A few weeks ago a good friend came over with her brand new baby girl and 2 year old boy and my husband sat on the couch holding the little girl and then her brother came and sat on his other leg. He smiled and laughed just had that perfect look on his face. I felt like I was literally about to have a panic attack. I love my husband for being so good with kids but feel like I can't give him what he wants and deserves.. Hugs to you!

SND1231 · November 2014

OMG @NariaDreaming That has to win the worst OPP of the week... WOW!

theholmanherd · November 2014

Oh God, @NariaDreaming. That is just too much.

TTCBabyJ · November 2014

@theholmanherd‌ I hope you feel better...really soon ((hugs))

I don't have an OPP per se but sometimes I talk to a friend of mine about our IF issues. She is also over 30 and childless and she always has to bring it back to her. The other day she was like I know I'm not trying but I should go see an RE...really?! She went on to say I may have what you have...I said what no patience for BS. So it's OPPP (Other People's Possible Pregnancy).

deelopi9 · November 2014

It was my god-dauther's 2nd birthday this past Sunday and all of her friends have kids between newborns & 3 years old. I was mentally prepared for the onset of being around kids, really excited to have a good time and be part of the fun. It was all over when BFF was upset that I wasn't there early enough to help her setup and in her mind take an interest in my god-daughter's party. Mind you I reached out to her on Friday & Saturday with no response from her. Her attitude and mood was so standoffish that it got me depressed. I had worked hard to be in the right mind set to be around small children & babies. I let her attitude take away my good mood and be part of my god-daughter's special day. It just hurts, I don't want to distance myself from her. It just feels like no matter what I do or say, it doesn't make a difference of how hard I try, my effort will not be good enough.

dominicandreamer · November 2014

I just wanted to stop in and offer hugs, wine and images of hot sexy men (didn't want any NSFW problems) to everyone. It's been a tough week and I hope it gets better for you all.

mshandlebar · November 2014

Whoa, I just read through the thread and I am overwhelmed by the crappiness. Big hugs to everyone.

@theholmanherd, I am sorry that you are feeling down. When I was a mere lurker, you were one of the people that made me think this was the kind of place I needed to be (the Jensen Ackles signature didn't hurt). Take the time you need, and I hope you find yourself in a better place soon

@BunnyBerry, What you said about waiting for to meet this person for so long is so incredibly sweet. I guess I've never really thought of it that way, but I wholeheartedly agree.

@lemonliz I think I would implode if that many births happened in one week in my circle. You are awesome, and I love your sense of humour despite all the suckitude.

@nikiswimr I would do exactly the same thing in your shoes. A good friend will understand. I don't go on Facebook anymore, unless I want to torture myself.

@NariaDreaming My brain actually fizzed out when I read yours. That is unbelievably sucky.

Mine is only tangentially an OPP, but I figure you all are the only ones who may understand. So one of my friends (who is older and single) told me this weekend that she just completed her foster to adopt training and is expecting to be placed with a child within the next few weeks. I didn't even know that she was thinking about having children.

I am so incredibly happy for her, but at the same time, she made it sound so easy. And that made me feel sad and like a failure. Her situation is not ideal either, and I doubt this is how she imagined she would make a family, but still all she had to do was take a few classes and 6 months later get a baby. We want to adopt for our second, so it especially hit home, because I am wondering if we are just wasting our time trying to get pregnant. She also asked me if I would go baby stuff shopping with her once she gets the call about placement. What is wrong with me that this all makes me sad? I feel like the worst person ever.

short0ne22 · November 2014

@LindseyM2012 ugh. I get teary just imagining that. My sister-in-law just had her first and DH is so excited to be an uncle. He keeps making comments that just break my heart, especially when he says how happy his baby nephew makes him and that he can only imagine how our own baby will make him feel someday... ::sigh::

@theholmanherd "douchecanoe" Oh my goodness. You have just introduced me to my new favorite insult!! Thank you for the laugh!

My OPP is my best friend who just posted a pic of her baby bump on FB. She is in her second trimester and just beginning to show. I don't know how I'm going to be able to see her and be around her for the next six months. The gender reveal party is in two weeks and I'm dreading it. We've barely talked the last few weeks (DH and I are in the midst of testing and are benched for at least the next 3 months, probably longer) and I feel awful for avoiding her but I'm having a hard time with it all.

emmuffy · November 2014

My wife's cousin just gave birth earlier this week. It hit home because her due date was around where mine would have been if I had actually been pregnant the one time I thought I was pregnant. Explanation: It was my first time using a trigger shot and no one told me they could cause a false positive on a home pregnancy test, so I thought I was pregnant for a few days until I got the bad news from the blood test. That was awful. Of course I had run out in my excitement and purchased a whole whack of maternity clothes that I had to go return when I got the blood test results. Ugh. And all these months later, I'm still not pregnant!

BandM14 · November 2014

Wow, hugs to everyone who has posted in this thread. So many tough situations for all of us to deal with.... I honestly hate IF with a fiery passion, and stories like @NariaDreaming's are totally gasoline all over that fire. I'm not normally a bitter person, but COME ON.

I don't have any specific OPP stories today, but am just generally sour over the flood of adorable-but-heartbreaking Halloween costume photos. I know this was discussed in a thread on Friday, but it was definitely a hard day to be on social media. We handed out candy too, and that wasn't easy. I just remember thinking that of course we would have a baby by this Halloween... and if I'm not pregnant soon, it will be the same feeling come Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. I hate holidays are being tainted by IF. Meh.

juneroses · November 2014

@NariaDreaming‌ - ouch. I had a little rage just hearing that 3rd person @LindseyD2012‌ and @SND1231‌ - that is the worst. I hate to see my husband bonding with my nieces and nephews, even though I adore him for it. It's just too hard to see what might have been. I have a guilty opp... When my cousin first announced his girlfriend's pregnancy, I nearly threw my phone. The circumstances for them were all wrong, but they had a baby. Now they have a 6 month old and the circumstances are still all wrong, and she is suffering with crippling postpartum....and it's like why? We would have been perfectly prepared for a baby, but don't have one. And I feel guilty because even though their lives are so hard right now, I am so jealous.

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