ma'am & sir

QOTR · November 2014

I'm curious if others will teach their children to refer to adults as ma'am & sir?

I was raised to respond with "yes ma''ams" and "yes sirs". It was especially imposed or expected in a disciplinary sense. Part of me thinks it is polite, yet another part of me is leery of imposing a belief in my kid that he must respect / defer to ALL adults.

What do you think? Is ma'am & sir still in use today? Is it just a southern thing? Or am I showing my advanced maternal age again?

Were you younger moms taught to use sir & ma'am growing up?

Katzalia · November 2014

I wasn't taught to do this, and where I grew up it wasn't the norm. But I actually got accustomed to it later due to it being the norm (in the South, and also military culture).

My $.02 is that there is a big difference between being polite and showing respect (probably a good thing) and respecting all adults/doing whatever they say without question (not what I want for my kids, for both safety and values reasons).

I want to teach my kids to do the former indiscriminately, and the latter from adults it's okay to trust, about the things it's okay to trust them on.

rc525 · November 2014

Growing up, we called everyone Mr./Mrs./Ms. unless the adult told us it was ok to call them by their first name. We won't have DD call our close friends Mr./Mrs., but we will have her address everyone else by that, unless they tell her otherwise.

kym1242 · November 2014

we are teaching ma'am and sir, that's just what I was taught growing up. when I tell her no, it's always "no ma'am"

IBackBevo · November 2014

Must be a regional thing because around here even adults say "Yes, mam," "No, sir," etc. to each other.

Mimaloo · November 2014

I grew up saying Mr./Mrs. bc that's what my parents thought was respectful. I agree and will teach DD the same.

haylo33 · November 2014

Nope, I wasn't raised with it and do not think it is necessary. My BIL is from the south and he has always said yes ma'am and yes sir. I think it is a southern thing. I hope to teach him to be respectful but I don't think ma'am and sir are a requirement in order to teach that

ladywolf1313 · November 2014

I was raised on the strict of the ma'am & sir thing. I will be also teaching my son those same. My hubs grew up using that and the Mr&Mrs to his parents friends and neighbors. So I think we are going to blend it.

QOTR · November 2014

We use "auntie" first name for close friends and "aunt" first name for real family. No separate designation for friend or family "uncles" though. My poor kid is going to be so confused.

mrsbtobe20122 · November 2014

We are a yes ma'am/sir, no ma'am sir house. I was raised in VA. DH is a military brat. We live in CO now. You do get remarks like 'I'm not old enough to be a ma'am" out here, but I don't care. It's polite and respectful.....no matter the age. I'm not changing! LO will be expected to do the same.

ksyknelvr73 · November 2014

Yes ma'am we are

See what I did there?

I also live in GA, I am sure that explains it. Around here, that is the polite thing to do.

deanna1313 · November 2014

It definitely is a southern thing and I'm from the north. Not to say that it's wrong to use them. It's very polite and who wouldn't appreciate that?
I would say we use sir for police officers only maybe.
I don't think we will teach out son Ma'am or Sir.
I also get insulted when people call me Ma'am at a register or the gas station. So I guess they are used minimally in NJ. Lol

mommar13 · November 2014

We're down in Mississippi so Ma'am and Sir are expected. DS will definately grow up knowing to use them for not only adults, but peers and even people younger than himself. It's just a sign of respect and politeness that we think is necessary. At home and with close friends it's not needed though.

Lild09 · November 2014

Mr/mrs/ms last name, closer friends ms or mr first name, and select extremely close friends are auntie/uncle but my family speaks another language so we will call his real aunt and uncle so it won't be confusing lol

Emmagk · November 2014

Mr/ Mrs will be taught here. Also DS will be taught to say please and thank you. I hate hearing kids ask for things without saying please

flockofmoosen3 · November 2014

I was not taught any proper etiquette growing up except for saying thank you, sorry, chewing with my mouth closed, and no elbows on the table. My mom does all the things that almost everyone on TB considers tacky/rude. I was always a quiet and polite kid anyway who was unusually empathetic early on so it worked out. I was taught to call family friends by their first name living in the North. When we moved South I learned to use Mr/Mrs Last name.

I will teach baby girl better etiquette and we'll use Mr/Mrs with her.

jenb_99 · November 2014

I'm focusing on basic manners right now with DH (3). I'm more concerned with him saying please and thank you and learning to use his inside voice and wait his turn to talk. I'll certainly teach my kids to respect their elders, but I'm not going to worry too much over formalities until they're older.

QOTR · November 2014

I enjoyed all the feedback - thanks.

sarag0116 · November 2014

Ma'am and sir are the norm and expected here in sc. I say it and my kids will too. I don't make a huge deal about it but I encourage it and my DD says it usually.

ns1 · November 2014

I'm a northern transplant in the south. I taught high school for a few years in the south and had kids cuss me out in one breath and m'am me in the next. I don't equate using titles with respect. I hope to teach respect, empathy, and critical thinking however I can figure out to do that...but not necessarily with titles.

Unknown · November 2014

This content has been removed.

Helmink0804 · November 2014

I grew up with mrs/ms/mr but I call my moms friends by their first names. I've had neighbors that I still see told me to drop the mrs/mr thing and just go by first name but it's weird.
She'll be brought up the same. We do refer to close friends as aunt and uncle- their kids refer to us as aunt and uncle too.

mrsbtobe20122 · November 2014

So just what I've learned as of yesterday..... Apparently at my niece's middle school all teachers/administration go by their first name instead of Ms./ Mr. So and so.

Am I the only one that finds this disturbing? A 13 year old girl calling her teacher Kevin? I feel their needs to be boundaries somewhere... And seeing a teacher as an equal doesn't sit right with me (ie inappropriate relationships).

Maybe I'm crazy

QOTR · November 2014

Wow, I've not heard of that. That is very different from what I'm used to.

IBackBevo · November 2014

I will say this: Right now I am more worried about teaching DS1 not to fart and point at his butt while doing it... or to point and laugh if other people fart or loudly exclaim "Uhoh" or say "butt."

Mam and sir will have to wait until later.

ns1 · November 2014

@IBackBevo‌ hahaha! So true! Yeah, while I may have said I want to teach respect, etc. I'm not sure how to do that in the midst of those kinds of lessons that you mention that are taking place right now with my three year old.

deanna1313 · November 2014

I don't think it's really a matter of bad manners or good manners when you compare the south to the north it's really just good manners in a different way.
I remember Britney Spears answering everything with "yes, Ma'am" and I remembering thinking that it was overkill. I'm sure people from the south find it strange that I am not having my son use sir or ma'am in most instances, but I would have him say "yes, please" or "no, thank you". I think I've only used sir or ma'am while working as a teenager and I wanted to speak to a customer. That's probably it.

Both are good. It's no manners that are the problem! Lol

britab · November 2014

mrsbtobe20122 said:
So just what I've learned as of yesterday..... Apparently at my niece's middle school all teachers/administration go by their first name instead of Ms./ Mr. So and so.

Am I the only one that finds this disturbing? A 13 year old girl calling her teacher Kevin? I feel their needs to be boundaries somewhere... And seeing a teacher as an equal doesn't sit right with me (ie inappropriate relationships).

Maybe I'm crazy

Respect has little to with if you use Mr., sir or Kevin. It's what you teach the kids about behavior. I call my principal by his first name and am respectful and know my role.

I'd focus on behavior more than titles. My friend's kids call me miss first name and it's nice but not necessary. I'm from MT the sir ma'am thing is foreign to me.

Want a personalized experience?

ma'am & sir

Re: ma'am & sir

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

ma'am & sir

Re: ma'am &amp; sir

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Re: ma'am & sir