Newly picker eater and childcare

djm31012 · November 2014

DS has always been an awesome eater. Literally, eats anything I give him, fruits, veggies, protein etc. The last probably 1-2 mos he has gotten progressively more difficult, boycotting foods he historically loved. He will no longer eat berries, yogurt, apples, butternut squash to name a few. I find that he is eating more mac&cheese, pasta with broccoli, and organic chicken nuggets than I care to admit because they are quick and easy weeknight go tos that he doesnt fight me on and maybe I created a monster. My other problem is....my SIL watches DS 3 days a week and my parents pick him up from daycare for me 2 days a week and feed him dinner. I find they are both very quick to give in when he protests food and I come home and DS had rice and a squeezer for dinner as opposed to the roasted chicken, brussel sprouts and rice I had left for him. Today for example for breakfast I sent DS scarmbled eggs with peppers onions and cheese. My SIL said he was crying and threw the eggs so she made him a waffle. He just ate this for breakfast on Sunday, so I know he will but he is difficult to get started and they just give in. I am at a loss for what to do. I want him to keep eating healthy but he is putting up a fight with anything decent lately and since I am not there 24/7 its getting harder and harder for me to enforce.

What do you do when your kid refuses to eat what you serve?? Also-do you still feed your LO or do they eat 100% on their own? I am wondering if I do what daycare does, put the food on his tray and walk away he will eventually eat it....

kelly321 · November 2014

I offer 2 alternatives for DD1 (3.5 years old) and am willing to give DD2 3 or sometimes even 4 alternatives for food. I always make sure one of the alternatives is something they definitely eat if they're not just feeling stubborn. If they don't eat it, meh, they won't starve waiting until the next meal (of course they think they will, but again, meh). If they don't eat a meal, then they don't get a snack until they eat something meal-like. Also, if they don't eat lunch, I make sure that I have something I know they like at dinner.

We switched over to letting DD2 feed herself with utensils about a month or two ago, and it's going really well. She probably would have been ready earlier. Now she wants to eat everything with a spoon. Everything.

Also, I don't think the daycare strategy you described will necessarily work at home. There is this phenomenon with kids where they eat things in social settings they might not eat at home. Just last week we had a playdate with another family and the kids ate so much fruit they about cleaned us out. Mine like fruit, but they never eat that much, and the other mom said the same. It's a group dynamic thing, I think, so I wouldn't try to impose the same rules at home as your daycare has. Just my two cents, though, you could try it and see if it works!

djm31012 · November 2014

@kelly321 thank you. I agree with you re: daycare. I have just come to terms with the fact that daycare gets DS to do things I never could...ie: take a 2.5 hr nap on a cot with 5 other kids in the room. I like the idea of options, but I hate the idea of making 3-4 different things in one night just to get him to eat. I always wanted to be the mom where my kids ate what we ate or they dont eat. Its worked since he started eating table food...but I recognize as toddlers become opinionated I will need to bend.

ericalee27 · November 2014

kelly321 said:

Also, I don't think the daycare strategy you described will necessarily work at home. There is this phenomenon with kids where they eat things in social settings they might not eat at home. Just last week we had a playdate with another family and the kids ate so much fruit they about cleaned us out. Mine like fruit, but they never eat that much, and the other mom said the same. It's a group dynamic thing, I think, so I wouldn't try to impose the same rules at home as your daycare has. Just my two cents, though, you could try it and see if it works!

This! It is totally amazing to me what DS1 will eat at daycare when the group is together vs. when he's home. I usually send things to daycare that are kind of a stretch for him or something I really want him to start eating because he's usually more willing to eat it there. I do send other things that I know he likes in case he gets stubborn, but 9 times out of 10, he'll have eaten it.

nlp1990 · November 2014

I do not make ds anything extra if he doesn't eat what I make. I wouldn't say he's a picky eater but he doesn't eat much of anything in one sitting. Obviously if I make something spicy it I know he doesn't like (like pizza, who doesn't like pizza?!) I will offer him an alternative. Usually on those nights, once every couple of weeks, I make him a hot dog. It's his favorite food, but he doesn't get them too often.

fignewt74 · November 2014

I am wondering if it is the age. DS2 was such a great eater, he liked fruit and loved vegetables. Now, I can barely get him to eat anything. I would be worried, except he still loves milk and gets most of his calories from milk.

colinsfebmommy · November 2014

We are in the same boat. My once great eater now has decided he has a delicate pallet for cr@p food....screw the veggies and fruit and anything healthy LOL Literally I give him something and his words are "something else?" Kid you are getting what I serve....you will come back when you are hungry!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

kelly321 · November 2014

djm31012 said:

@kelly321 thank you. I agree with you re: daycare. I have just come to terms with the fact that daycare gets DS to do things I never could...ie: take a 2.5 hr nap on a cot with 5 other kids in the room. I like the idea of options, but I hate the idea of making 3-4 different things in one night just to get him to eat. I always wanted to be the mom where my kids ate what we ate or they dont eat. Its worked since he started eating table food...but I recognize as toddlers become opinionated I will need to bend.

Let me clarify that I do not make 3-4 meals to offer her. The choices will be:
1) the meal I just cooked
2) some prepared baby food for toddlers (we have some in the cabinet for just in case) that I heat in the microwave if she says she wants it, or
3) leftovers that I heat in the microwave if she says she wants it. Here there could be 2 options if there are 2 meals leftover in the fridge.

Whatever she says she wants, though, that's it. I don't heat up 3 different things. The only way she gets 2 things is if she tries the meal we eat, doesn't like it, and goes for a second choice. If she wants leftovers and I heat them up, she gets that or nothing. I don't heat up another round.

Maybe that sounds a little less intimidating than preparing 3 separate meals to offer?

I'm not a restaurant (as DH always tells the DDs)

SummerLove21 · November 2014

Their taste buds continue to change and develop throughout their toddler and younger years. Mine used to be a fantastic vegetable eater; now he will only eat them in their pureed form. Our toddler class teacher told us they often meet their caloric needs for the day before dinner, so if they don't want to eat dinner, not to stress about it.

If I know I'm making something he won't like, I will offer a small alternative + what I made (just in case). But if he refuses dinner, then oh well. I don't want him to think that I am a short-order cook. Knowing that his caloric needs have been met for the day helps. :-)

djm31012 · November 2014

Its helpful to know others are going through the same thing! Also...DS doesnt understand bargaining. Like I cant say to him "take 2 bites and then I will give you a cheese stick bc you keep asking for that." It will be so much easier when I can bribe him HA

fignewt74 · November 2014

pinesnow said:

DS was also a great healthy eater but has gotten more picky recently. Seriously, the kid loved beets. Who loves beets?! Anyway, I have been making a lot of smoothies lately which I pack with spinach and half an avocado. That way I'm sneaking some good stuff in and then don't feel as bad if veggies are scarcely eaten the rest of the day.

A smoothie is such a great idea! What else do you put in it? Share your recipe please!

Amstreagle · November 2014

uncaripswife said:

I have nothing to offer except commiseration. I always said I'd be the parent that fed my kid real food right from the beginning, and she'd eat what we eat or nothing. And then I actually became a parent. K has always been a fussy eater. And she doesn't care about food, so if I didn't offer her what she likes she would just choose not to eat. Ever. She would happily subsist on nothing but whole milk. So, my advice is give him what he'll eat and don't stress about. In three weeks he'll change again and decide he only wants broccoli (or something).

This is how Roo is but lately when I give him food he stuffs so much in his mouth he sometimes chokes. It's a little bizarre.
Regarding utensils, he's okay with a spoon but still has some fine tuning to do. I usually help him a little otherwise food falls off and he gets frustrated and winds up with his hands in his dinner.

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