No VBAC for me most likely. Not happy

KirstenAlecia · November 2014

18 years ago I had 30 hours of labor. 3 hours of pushing and then a C-section.

I have given it thought and decided I really did not want another c-section. There is a hospital in my area that allows for VBACs. Today after several confusing calls to my insurance provider, the hospitals OB appt setters (who were INCREDIBLY RUDE after i held for long periods of time on hold all three times i had to call - they definitely did not want to help me and were irritated they had to explain some things to me)

When i finally got all my info straight between my insurance and my Dr. choices I called back to see about establishing. Turns out I DONT get to pick my dr. Ummmmm hello this could have all been done on call #2 then!!!!! But no, the person on the other end during call #2 just didn't want to help. I told her i would call back when i chose a dr off the site....she COULD HAVE TOLD ME I did not get to choose! They are so full they decide on a case by case basis if they will take you on as a patient and call you back within 3 days if they can assign you a Dr.

I gave my info and will wait for a call back. However, my husband is insisting i make an appt with someone and get it done today.

I got the name a Dr who my friend really really likes. He will not do a VBAC. I know the hospital he delivers at does not allow them. However, the girl on the other end was REALLY REALLY nice. So helpful. VERY accommodating trying to get me seen asap. I have a good feeling about this office.

BUT.......Im CRUSHED about the idea of having another C-section. I have no idea why i am so emotional about this. Its like pregnancy hormones have hit suddenly because I'm absolutely distraught. I even shed tears, lots......go ahead and make fun of me.....i am just being lame and i know it.

NeonNoon · November 2014

Sorry you had to suffer through all that. It can be like pulling teeth navigating through medical bureaucracy.

Just because you go with one doctor for now, doesn't mean you have to stop looking for better options. I must say for me how pleasant a doctor is to deal with and how responsive their staff is ranks pretty highly. You probably won't feel so hurried after your first couple of appointments. You've got tons of time and you've got the nice doctor as back-up. I would use the time to ask friends, neighbors, co-workers (anyone you're comfortable asking) for more recommendations and research other hospitals etc. Also consider other options such as midwives.

Good luck and I know it's hard, but try to relax. Remember, you're having a baby one way or another

KirstenAlecia · November 2014

Yes @NeonNoon one way or another I will, wont I? I don't know why i found this to be so devastating today.

I think you are absolutely right, just because i have made this appt. doesn't mean its cemented and in stone. I should just be glad i have an appt. The other medical groups were out december and January before available appts. And the fact that so far the staff seems great and is highly recommended is a good thing.

I think that feeling of being less than a capable of doing something i should be able to do (have a baby the natural "normal" way is creeping into my brain. Having a c-section 18 years ago did not affect me like this before. I think i went through labor....tried my best and i knew it was all I could do. Looking back I wonder if they jumped the gun.

Something in me just wants to do this the way its intended. I have no idea why i feel so strongly.

mandyreads · November 2014

Oh gosh!! And during such an emotional time too!! I switched hospitals back around 10 wks bc one of the nurses yelled at me on the phone. Unfortunately I am back with that hospital now that I am considered HR. Oh well.

You will work it out and like @NeonNoon said...you have plenty of time to change your mind and go somewhere else. Keep us posted!!

xuxachi · November 2014

Keep looking. You'll find someone who will take you on. You're not crazy for wanting a VBAC, I think it's normal to feel that way and it should be possible. At least find a doctor or midwife who will support you and you get closer to delivering. It's important to you so stick to it

best of luck to you!

NicoleWI · November 2014

Are you in a really rural area or something? I am choosing a repeat c-section as my first two vaginal births lead us to think I wouldn't be the best VBAC person, but all the research I did suggests VBAC is extremely safe (safer than repeat C for most people?) and well-accepted. I'm surprised you are having so much trouble! I second others who say to keep looking. If you really want to try for a vaginal birth you should have that opportunity.

Did you have a vertical incision last time? That is a reason some will not do VBAC.

KirstenAlecia · November 2014

@NicoleWI Im not in a rural area at all. I live in Southern California and while my town is small......Im right next door to normal size cities. The only hospital that does them around here is really close......15 miles away. literally 2 cities over. Its not far at all......but they are so booked up They are not all taking on many new patients.

My incision is not vertical. I haven't even had an exam yet.

KirstenAlecia · November 2014

@hikerlady I am a little nervous about a home birth. My labor with my daughter was really rough (i know it may not go the same way) but i have considered a midwife. I am going to continue with looking at all my options and see what i can do.

I emailed ICAN and never heard back.

lgsdesigner · November 2014

Contact a midwife, and see if a midwife will do it. I hired a midwife this time, and plan to try for a VBAC2. Don't let anyone tell you how to have your birth!

supersarah77 · November 2014

Oh my gosh! What a terrible experience for you! It makes sense that your initial reaction was so strong. You had high hopes for your birth plan of a VBAC and it was denied. I'm sure part of you felt powerless about it. But it sounds like you're feeling at least a little better and are exploring some options. I feel for you that you are going through this. FX that you end up feeling at peace one way or another long before the big day.

Lm92599 · November 2014

I am also wanting to do a VBAC. I live in Southern Cali and I have Kaiser. My doc told me that I could do a VBAC if I wanted. My first son was vaginal and only 7.5 pounds. My second son was vaginal and 9.8 pounds. I had a 4th degree with him. That is why with my daughter, they kept watching her and she was measuring big. they decided c-sect and she was 8.11 pounds. Now with my 4th, I don't want to have a c-sect, but another 4th degree can leave me with stool incontinence.

My OB told me it was my choice and that we could decide later as this baby develops. I am unsure which direction to go. I hope you find somewhere that will allow you to try a VBAC. I think as women we know our bodies and how strong we are. Good luck to you!

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No VBAC for me most likely. Not happy

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