Nickname as 'official' baby name?

mattandlora · November 2014

DH and I can't seem to agree. We like the same nicknames for kids. But one of us thinks we should just give the nickname as the actual name, where the other thinks we should give the more formal version as the actual name and just call the kid by the nickname. For example (and this isn't the one in discussion), one would want to name the baby Kate, while the other would want to give the more formal Katherine and go with the nickname Kate.

One would make it easier on the kid - the name you call him/her is his/her actual name. The other would make it easier when the kid gets older and may decide that he/she doesn't like the nickname, and wants to go by a different nickname, or his/her full name.

Are any others out there having this discussion? How did you come to a conclusion?

niknak1208 · November 2014

We haven't talked about names yet but I am dreading those conversations because my husband NEVER likes the names I pick. ever.

He LOVES the name Rory. He says boy or girl we should name the baby Rory. Me .. not so much. I think it's hard to say and I'm a nickname person and there's no nick name for Rory.

I think I like the idea of a formal name with a nick name though.

mattandlora · November 2014

With our first child, DH and I were totally on the same page with boy names but couldn't be further apart for girl names. Thank goodness the first baby was a boy! Now we're starting the process over again. Again, we're on the page with boy names. We're finally making some headway with girl names. My grandmother's name was Margaret. I don't love the name, but I like the nickname Maggie. DH just wants to go with the name Maggie since we both like it. But I have hesitations. What if she wants something more formal when she gets older? Or what if everyone uses the name Maggie and she wants a different nickname, like Megan or Margie or something? Granted, I'm 18 weeks now and we have plenty of time to figure this out. But it might take us the rest of the pregnancy to figure this one out. We'll find out the gender in a couple weeks anyway, so this may all be for nothing. (However, I was convinced the first was a boy and was right. I'm about 90% sure this one is a girl. We'll see.)

NeonNoon · November 2014

We're not really having this discussion but we're going with a formal name. The nickname doesn't have much meaning. I think if the meaning of the formal name is important to you, then that's one (more) reason to keep the formal version.

Here are a couple of anecdotes that may help you decide:

I know of at least one person with a nickname for her given name who absolutely hated it when people extended her name to the formal version. She would say, "that's not my name."

Also, DH switched from using a nickname as a child to the formal version as an adult (he had the option). Now he absolutely hates it when people shorten it.

Good luck. Naming can be stressful.

harmonicbabe26 · November 2014

I am a traditionalist when it comes to names. A NN is a NN and not a full name, even if nowadays people choose to use NNs as full names... If you love Kate, call your child Katherine. That way she can later go by Kate, Katherine, Katie or whatever floats her boat. My DD is Katherine and we do not shirten it. If she wants to be called Kate later, that's her choice. I knew a girl in a previous job whose name was Katie, just Katie. And while that's cute on a child and a young woman, I'm sure it will become pretty inconvenient when's she's a senior manager in her 40s and still called Katie... Sounds so juvenile... This is just my personal opinion... I do hope that this trend of odd naming comes full circle and people go back to using proper naming techniques.

mattandlora · November 2014

@harmonicbabe26 - That was my argument exactly.

junismum · November 2014

I'm in the formal name for official documents, Nickname for everyday - camp. A friend of mine did the "president" test. Along the same lines of Poppy sounding cute for a little girl, a 50 year old high court judge named Poppy might not have the same impact....

so try putting

President.....

Doctor....

The honourable judge....

ahead of the name - does it sound good? seems an interesting idea anyway

My sister is Rebecca, but was always Becky to us - as she got older she decided Becky was too juvenile, so started telling everyone to call her Beck. (I still call her Becky at times out of habit) but the options are all there.

Have fun deciding - I have two huge lists that arent getting any smaller as the baby gets closer....

NicoleWI · November 2014

DH and I are on the same page with this particular question. We like to have the more formal name and be able to nickname it. I'm a Nicole, but tons of people call me Ni.cki. I always really liked having both options. One of our kids is Kath.erine, but we always call her Ka.tie.

I see zero downside to giving the longer, formal name as the official name (unless you hate it!). You can still always use the nickname, but the child has more options down the line if desired.

xuxachi · November 2014

I'm in the formal name camp, but my response to you given the situation you describe is to go with the nn as the "real" name - you both agree with it, so I wouldn't see anything wrong with that. It's pretty tough to come to agreement on a name

Besides, there may be a different nn that comes up later in life...you can't predict these things.

indianaalum · November 2014

I personally like formal name with nickname.

I think most people will assume the child had the formal name anyhow leading to lots of confusion in the end.

For example, if yoiur name is rick, people 99.99999 will just assume your name is Richard and will end up sending mail to you stating richard anyhow.

JMo

topaz7777 · November 2014

I had two bosses who worked in a federal agency. One was named Billy, the other Tommy. Those were their legal names, and it was awkward calling them by those names. People shortened the names to Bill and Tom but their identifications and emails still said Billy and Tommy. I'm with @junismum If your child is one day a lawyer or doctor or something, will they still like the name?

tygraa1 · November 2014

I absolutely love the name Charlie for a girl, DH, not so much, so he's agreed that if we go with a formal name (like Charlize) then he's okay with her nickname being Charlie...either way, I get what I want and it shuts him up...I do think that the child should have that option of using a more formal name if they decide they don't want to go by or don't like their nickname later on in life...example, my name is Melissa, my dad calls me Mel, and he is the only one that does bc I don't really care for that name...

harmonicbabe26 · November 2014

tygraa1 said:
I absolutely love the name Charlie for a girl, DH, not so much, so he's agreed that if we go with a formal name (like Charlize) then he's okay with her nickname being Charlie...either way, I get what I want and it shuts him up...I do think that the child should have that option of using a more formal name if they decide they don't want to go by or don't like their nickname later on in life...example, my name is Melissa, my dad calls me Mel, and he is the only one that does bc I don't really care for that name...

I often hear Charlie as NN for Charlotte. That's prob one of my most fave names of all times, classic and graceful. Would totally use it if I didn't live in Charlotte NC haha...

ZooCrewMom · November 2014

We are in the formal camp as well, but we always select a name with a solid nickname. Our oldest is John (goes by Jack), then Joseph (Joey) and we are naming our third Matthew (Matt). If we ever have girl she will be a Margaret (I'm a Margaux and my grandmother was Marguerite), but will go by Maggie (also my grandmother's nickname). I don't think you can go wrong being more formal. being to casual on the other hand can be a real pain as an adult.

marijaa333 · November 2014

Can you reach a compromise with a short, yet formal name? Jane? Anna? Claire? Ella? Julie? Lucy? Marie? Neve? etc.

linzacc · November 2014

I hate the idea of naming a kid something with the intention of calling it something completely different, so I'd say just name the kid Kate if you want her to be called Kate. It annoys the crap out of me when I tell someone my baby's name - we purposefully chose something that doesn't have a nickname - and then they ask what we will call her. We'll call her by her name, thankyouverymuch!

nf0kss · November 2014

My name is kimberly and love the option of Kim (friends and family) or kimberly(work) ...I hate Kimmy lol. I'm Also in camp of formal with nickname....kinda of a family tradition. I like distinguishing between what the people closest in my life call vs the general public.

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