Should toddler DD miss her classmate's party? — The Bump
Birthday Parties

Should toddler DD miss her classmate's party?

DD has asevere egg, soy, tree nuts and soy allegeries; she was invited to her first classmate birthday. What do we do; go and not eat, go and bring our own food or gracefully decline?

Re: Should toddler DD miss her classmate's party?

  • I'm coming at this from the other side - one of my son's best friends has an egg, peanut, seed (sesame, sunflower, etc.) allergy.  So here's my experience with what his mom does:

    1) Talk to the host and determine what they're serving.  (She doesn't do this, but since our kids are so close, at least when its us throwing the party I make sure that almost all the food there is "allergy friendly."  (Basically everything except the cake)  A lot of our mutual friends do this too, whatever kids we have playdates with, because we're all used to his allergies.

    2) Go to the party avoiding "food time."  She does this quite a bit.  So depending on the time of the party, she will bring him early and leave when the meal is served, or bring him late after the meal would have been served and after feeding him.

    3) Bring food for him.  Sometimes she checks with what is being served and makes an allergy friendly version for him, which she brings.  So he'll have some kind of pizza that she knows the ingredients of while the other kids have Dominos.
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  • I would just bring my own food for dd.
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  • I'm quite late to this, but for the future...

    DS has celiac.  When he's invited to parties, I ask what they are going to serve and then I bring a similar gluten free option for him.  As he's grown up with this being his life, he's used to it and not only doesn't get upset about it, he totally advocates for himself at parties (like the one time a dad tried to serve DS cake). 

    As your DD gets older, it's going to become hard if not impossible to NOT send her to parties.  Because SHE'LL be upset to not be able to go.  You all need to work together to find a system that works.

    And to date- when I've reached out to the parents asking what they're serving, I briefly tell them why and I tell them that I just want to know so that I can bring something for DS.  This has yet to be an issue. 

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